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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not know how out get a teenager out of bed in the mornings

36 replies

brizzledrizzle · 28/06/2018 07:55

Just how? Every morning he won't get out of bed and when he does he won't get ready on time. He can't get to school otherwise as it's too far to walk or cycle to.

Now I've said I won't be taking him to anywhere he wants to go in the evening unless he's ready on time.

How do you get your teens out of bed?

OP posts:
Original poster
brizzledrizzle · 28/06/2018 12:45

Anybody? Or do you all have teens who leap out of bed full of the joys of spring?! ;-)

OP posts:
Ohmydayslove · 28/06/2018 12:59

No but to be fair studies have been done that show teens do need a hell of s lot of sleep. I saw a programme in the states that the school had altered the Reg time to an hour later to accommodate this.

No magic wand I just used to send the dog and toddlers up. That worked. Toddlers were fine as teens as girls and spent hours doing hair and makeup before school. Grin

Melliegrantfirstlady · 28/06/2018 13:02

Is he staying up late? Remove his phone, computer lead every night at 10pm

My teen gets up at 7:30 each day. Being late is not even an option in this house!

weegiemum · 28/06/2018 13:05

Mine drag themselves up for school and sleep in until lunchtime at weekends ... second day of the holidays here and they were all up by 9 o'clock!

Original poster
brizzledrizzle · 28/06/2018 13:06

He goes to bed between 9pm and 10pm, his phone and laptop are downstairs - he rarely charges his phone anyway so it's usually flat.

I wish we had toddlers or a dog to send upstairs, it'd be more effective I think.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 28/06/2018 13:09

So you have to give him a lift to school? Is it making him late, or you late (or both)?

frenchfancy · 28/06/2018 13:10

You don't. You let them live with the consequenses. You say - your lift is leaving at x, then leave at stated time. If they are not up and ready they don't go, and they are the ones that have to deal with the consequences. I've had 2 teens go through secondary and neither of them even missed the bus which goes at 7:15am. They knew that if they missed it we wouldn't drive them in and they would get into trouble.

seventhgonickname · 28/06/2018 13:10

Put the radio on with music they hate and remove duvet to your room.
To be fair my dd is up in plenty of time for school but I have to use this tactic when she needs to be up at weekends.

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 28/06/2018 13:12

Make the teenager bear the consequences of not getting up. Late/absent from school, late for work, pissed off friends. If no consequences, leave teen be.

My dad drove off without my teen sister when she wasn't ready for school. It only happened once.

bonnielassie1 · 28/06/2018 13:12

Turn all of his lights on and put a radio alarm or something in his room

Original poster
brizzledrizzle · 28/06/2018 13:13

It's making me get to work later than I'd like but not late.

There isn't a bus service to his school so it's a long walk/cycle ride or the car.
He wants to go out to an event in the next village which needs a lift so I've told him that it relies on being ready tomorrow morning with no fuss when I have to leave for work. I so nearly left without him this morning because he was so late but then he announced he'd lost his house keys Angry

He's going to find them tonight (they will be in the house) or he'll be sitting on the doorstep once I leave for work.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/06/2018 13:14

Airhorn? Icy water spray? Remove his duvet?

Or, as others have suggested, leave him to it, and let him bear the consequences.

AveABanana · 28/06/2018 13:14

Lights on
Curtains open
Door open
WiFi off
Wireless doorbell hidden on top of wardrobe.

HollowTalk · 28/06/2018 13:15

You have to be really tough. If that means you leave without him, so be it. He might need the shock of being in trouble at school to make him change his ways.

MissRainbowBrite · 28/06/2018 13:17

We have a tactic that seems to work on 13 year old DS. If he isn't up in the morning on time then that evening all his screens/devices get taken away 30 minutes earlier than usual as he clearly needs sleep and should be winding down earlier. If he's the same the next morning it goes forward by another 30 minutes and so on.
To earn back his devices until usual switch off time he has to do 3 consecutive get ups on time and without being nagged.

StripySocksAndDocs · 28/06/2018 13:19

I'm sorry but not sure how you advise you.

My teens just get up if they have to. They don't "leap out of bed full of the joys of spring" by any stretch of the imagination!!! But the responsibility of getting up and to where they need to is their own. Any lateness is their doing.

Don't get me wrong, there has been times I've had to wake them as they fell asleep again, but on those occasions they've got up and sorted themselves.

BarbarianMum · 28/06/2018 13:19

Well if he's not ready then let him have a long walk/cycle ride. Bet it doesn't happen twice. You are making this your problem, let it be his.

MagicFajita · 28/06/2018 13:22

Restrict Wi-Fi to all of their devices so that it cuts out at 10pm. Tell them it remains that way until they start getting themselves up at the right time.

Storm4star · 28/06/2018 13:25

If they are not up and ready they don't go, and they are the ones that have to deal with the consequences

Unfortunately this is not true. It's an offence on the parents part to not get their child to school. You can get arrested and convicted for it.

I know this is wholly unfair and I don't really agree with it but it's the way the law stands. Yes you would get a warning initially, the police won't just turn up at your door. But it needs nipping in the bud now.

Would it make a difference if you explained this to your DS?

TheWitchAndTrevor · 28/06/2018 13:29

Leave them with the responsibility to get up themselves.

give them an alarm clock, tell them the new routine, warn them you will not be chasing/nagging them. Tell them what time you will be leaving.

let them get on with it.

they may fail, but they will start to learn responsibility.

spoken as a mother of teens, and also as teen who wouldn't get up.

I remember missing my bus a few times over the years, sometimes I'd walk the 4 miles, sometimes go back to bed or catch a lift with a neighbour. All had consequences.

I cannot be late for anything now, no matter what time of day it is, I will be there 10-15mins early.

SheerKhan · 28/06/2018 13:30

Storm4star does this law apply to teenagers too, who should be able to wake up by themselves by their age? What if the parents have an early shift and have to leave earlier than their teenage children? Are the parents still responsible in this case?

Storm4star · 28/06/2018 13:32

@SheerKhan

Unfortunately yes, and I have seen people prosecuted for it. Ultimately, the way the law views it is that your child is your responsibility, therefore the responsibility for getting them to school rests with you.

dangermouseisace · 28/06/2018 13:34

No suggestions but is he mentally ok? As a teenager I would never get out of bed on time either because I hated school, was being bullied and was depressed. I only ask because my parents didn’t have a clue until things hit crisis point.

JustLikeBefore · 28/06/2018 13:35

Storm4star that would only be for a child missing from school an awful lot.

if your teen doesn't turn it around and manage to take responsibility, and is persistently missing school, then you have other problems going on.