I’m going to make your life hell

[Butterflies27]

My ds 14 told me last night he got a break time detention. The details of this were they had a substitute didn’t turn up for first 10 mins have some brief work and then left didn’t come back for rest of lesson. Next time had that class again teacher held 5 back saying they didn’t do enough work. My ds was brought to the front of the class in that detention and told he would fail his GCSEs if he carried on like this and if he took this subject (which he has) next year he would make his life hell!

I’m shocked, by a teacher using their position of power to threaten a child. My ds has had issues at said school in year 7-8 he got bullied quite badly, had his foot broken being stamped on, cover in bruises from being hit etc.

I spoke to school a lot during this time to get them to sort if out and to be fair to them they did. During the process though my son got involved in the wrong gang as they offered protection -would stand up to the bullies, kept him safe.

Bullies got expelled for bad behaviour and things started to improve. Ds is in yr 9 now, this year hasn’t been plain sailing. He’s found the work hard so has either acted the clown, not done his homework.

I went in to the school a few months ago with my ds to see head of year and tutor to try to get ds to try harder. He started doing better no more logs, no more after school detentions, yesterday in the post we received a praise postcard from his tutor about his behaviour.

Comments like this will only make him think what’s the point, which has taken us weeks to get to where we are. Aibu to phone the school and discuss this teachers unprofessional comments? If you would call would you phone the head of year, the teacher direct?

Some may think this is petty which is why I’m asking but if this was said in the work place it would be taken seriously.

Chances are your DC is feeding you fake news to cover up their bad behaviour and lack of work. 99 times out of 100 the teacher is in the right. Parents should be supporting the school not opposing them.

I think teacher training needs to be much more in depth covering a bit of psychology and care as well as how to deliver a class

I have to say that teachers have all my sympathy and after my experience of secondary school and how we tortured the teachers I swore I would never, ever teach that age group. But at the same time, teachers can make or break the teenagers in their care.

Your original post confuses me. A ‘substitute’ teacher? Do you mean a supply teacher? If so, why does he appear to be teaching your son in this subject next year? Or perhaps you mean a teacher who teaches at the school and was just covering that lesson for an absent colleague.

Whatever, I think you may have been given an edited version of events which shows the teacher in a bad light and your son as an innocent.

Believe me, disruptive pupils, or ‘clowns’ as you call your son ruin lessons for teachers and prevent the learning of other pupils. Truly not a way to gain popularity and achieve. It’s so easy to blame the teacher, and pupils do when they fail to achieve the results they think they deserve. Such pupils take precious learning time and attention away from others, some who are maybe struggling but trying their best.

I think your best course of action would be to let the incident pass and ensure your son does his homework and knuckles down to hard work in the new school year. Maybe get some feedback on his progress and behaviour a few weeks in.

You say he has been bullied in the past. Perhaps a change of approach is now needed at the start of his GCSEs. Encourage him to achieve and get attention that way. Praise and recognition for doing his best rather than attention for negative reasons. The next two years will fly by and you don’t want to be dealing with the fallout of underachievement and negative references when he is deciding what work or career he wants to go into. Perhaps a serious discussion of what he wants to do post GCSEs is needed and then focus on that. It is not too late to turn things around. It’s a very competitive world out there but often attitude and willingness to work hard count as much as actual exam results.

Failingat

Yes her son was bullied. We don’t actually know if he was massively affected he may have been but that has to be behind him now. Clearly ifvhes the class clown he’s making choices now to be disruptive and that has to be addressed.

My nuggers of wisdom come from having had 6 teenagers one of which as I said had a massive trauma far far worse than bullying. Yes she had counselling but yes she still had to buckle down and do the work and behave.

The ops ds is now 14.. time to buckle down behave and study. You do teenagers no good constantly delving into their souls for trouble. Failing his GCSEs isn’t going to help either his self esteem or his mental health.

And the attitude that ‘you need to hear the teachers side of it’

Ffs he was not pushed up against the wall and punched he was told off and sounds like he deserved it.