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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To speak to this person about going over my head at work?

50 replies

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 06:28

A couple of months ago someone joined my department in a sort of ‘deputy to me’ role. I am obviously their line manager. On day one they told me they had emailed the head of our organisation with some new ideas that were directly related to my department. I was a little irritated as these should have been run past me, and in fact, they relate to an area I want to develop further and I asked the person’s views on it at interview, so they had no reason to think I wouldn’t be interested. However, I didn’t want to sour their first day so I said nothing.

Now it turns out another manager from another department has become involved as the area the new person wants to develop sort of over-laps with this second manager’s area of focus. This has really pissed me off as now it seems the new ideas, which are great, are going to be more associated with this second manager’s department than mine. I think this has happened because of the new person getting the head involved – he has then put him in touch with manager number 2.

I get that the new person is ambitious, but this kind of stuff should go through me, and I’m annoyed that now something I was looking forward to developing has been moved from my department. I did mention my disappointment about that, and he said he ‘couldn’t be doing with office politics’, but this isn’t politics imo, it’s basic courtesy and it’s how the place is structured. WIBU to speak to him about not going above my head in future, or would that make me a nightmare and controlling boss?

OP posts:

CircleofWillis · 28/06/2018 08:14

I would speak to your manager about it rather than the person.

MrsLopsided · 28/06/2018 08:37

He's only been there a couple of months and tried to cut you off at the knees with the 'office politics' comment.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers. It's not 'office politics', you are his immediate superior. Speak to your manager, keep your powder dry, nothing personal this is purely about company structure and his role within that, assisting you. Yes it is a good idea which you were already in the planning stages of, you discussed it at interview and he has used it to undermine you. Don't get into a battle of wills with this cocky bugger, save it for your new employee review. Ambition is good but he was hired to assist you not do you down and make you feel crap at work, or restructure the company or anything else. Office politics indeed.

Poisongirl81 · 28/06/2018 08:43

I have someone working for me just like that!

WerkSupp · 28/06/2018 08:50

I wouldn't bother speaking to this person. Is this person still on probation? I wouldn't hesitate to sack him, but would speak to your supervisor first.

Palegreenstars · 28/06/2018 08:50

How is this person able to progress with it if you were already in motion with your plans? Or is it something you’d been sitting on and not doing much about? If it’s the former then you can just take charge of the actions from here on and be firm. If it’s the latter I think you are being precious and annoyed that they moved forward quicker then you did.

What do you mean by ‘sort of deputy’?

Taytotots · 28/06/2018 08:50

Grrrr no that isn't on! Office politics indeed, he is just trying to get himself noticed so thought he would ignore you. The protocol is definitely to bring ideas to your manager who then can action them or not as they see fit. I would have a word with him explaining the system (he knows anyway but you can pretend to give him the benefit of the doubt!) but also, as said above, speak to your manager about it in a rational way - MrsLopsided 's suggestions are great.

WerkSupp · 28/06/2018 08:52

And next time you get a person like this, fuck souring their first day. A lot of people would have let him go after learning about that email, tbh.This person knows exactly what he's doing and he's after your job.

FuckPants · 28/06/2018 08:53

I wouldn't bother speaking to this person. Is this person still on probation? I wouldn't hesitate to sack him, but would speak to your supervisor first.

Sack them for what?

Speak to them by all means but sacking them is OTT.

Maelstrop · 28/06/2018 08:54

This is not office politics. Go to your manager and discuss this and explain how he has undermined you and that you are the one wanting to move on the project. This guy sounds like a trauma. Stop him now,

WerkSupp · 28/06/2018 08:55

If they're on probation you can let them go for whatever reason Fuck. People like this are bad news. They don't improve after little chats because they fundamentally entitled to not having to work up ranks. Cocky people like this behave as if they're the boss and don't care if they're not. Very bad for morale.

FuckPants · 28/06/2018 08:57

If they're on probation you can let them go for whatever reason Fuck. People like this are bad news. They don't improve after little chats because they fundamentally entitled to not having to work up ranks. Cocky people like this behave as if they're the boss and don't care if they're not. Very bad for morale.

I know you more or less can but it's very petty no?

hellosummer12 · 28/06/2018 08:58

He did that on his first day???? cheeky fucker.

I'd arrange a meeting with the other manager and talk things over between you. Say you were thinking about developing this area and would like to keep control of it, and see if you can compromise on it.

ReanimatedSGB · 28/06/2018 09:01

Another reason to deal with this little shit now is because it is almost certainly misogyny that is motivating his behaviour. He doesn't want to answer to a woman, so he's going to pretend you're not there.

OrchidInTheSun · 28/06/2018 09:01

I used to have someone like this reporting to me. He undermined me at every turn and contributed to me leaving. He wasn't half as competent as he thought he was either. Nip it in the bud if you can.

PereyButton · 28/06/2018 09:01

Surely everything you are working on should go through your line manager? I wouldn't be happy with this at all. There was no reason you couldn't be involved in this. Do you have a manager above you that you can ask for advice?

WerkSupp · 28/06/2018 09:01

Not at all petty IMO. Having worked in several offices where people like this got hired I've seen they can be very damaging because people like this also start to boss around others. They're not interested in the structure of the firm and not a team player. It's a form of bullying behaviour.

Johnnyfinland · 28/06/2018 09:03

How is he your 'sort of' deputy? Is he or isn't he your deputy? Could the fact you talked about it at interview and asked his views have given him the idea that his position would involve implementing the plans? Or had you made it clear it was something you were in charge of? I'm inclined to say good on him for taking some initiative, as it could have been done with the best intentions if you hadn't explicitly said you were running that project. If you had made that clear to him, then I would talk to him about it directly.

WerkSupp · 28/06/2018 09:03

What SGB said. You played right into his hands by not saying something about that email for not wanting to spoil his first day.

BeautifulWintersMorning · 28/06/2018 09:06

Are the head of organisation and the other manager male by any chance and he's seeing you as a little woman who he can ignore and dismiss as "engaging in office politics" while the men deal with the important stuff?

macaronip1e · 28/06/2018 09:10

But is part of the problem here not your manager/head of organisation rather than the newbie? They should have looped you in when the newbie came up with their ideas - they’ve now had their approach of bypassing you validated by you being kept out and another manager being involved. What’s your relationship with the other manager like? Could you speak with them to get involved with the new ideas.

I probably would speak to newbie but try to do so in a way that means they will want to involve you rather than resent it - e.g. set up a regular time to discuss new approaches to encourage the idea of collaboration

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 28/06/2018 09:14

You can at the very least extend the probation to make it a clear warning, but if that happened from the start when employees are supposed to be on their very best behaviour, it's not looking to good for the future.

I am not sure I could work with someone like that, it's a place of business not a school playground, and no one has time for that attitude.

BlueBug45 · 28/06/2018 09:15

The CF has caused more office politics by ignoring you.

Politely but firmly ask the CF to forward all emails about his ideas to you by the end of the day as you are in the middle of developing something. If he doesn't go to your boss and ask for them explaining he refuses to do so. You will also need to talk to the second manager properly to establish what and how much work the CF will be doing for them.

In future step on anyone who does what the CF is doing immediately regardless of how new they are. If they come out with they don't do office politics simply say something along the lines of everything is political.

CherryNib · 28/06/2018 09:30

The head of your organisation clearly values your 'deputy's' ideas enough to put them into motion. It sounds to me like you're envious and wishing you'd put your own ideas forward.
IMO you should be nice—this person might well be your boss one day.

findthegap · 28/06/2018 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blueisland · 28/06/2018 09:36

Hmmm... so new person has had good ideas, took initiative and presented them to senior management and now those ideas are being put practice. You are annoyed because he bypassed you to do this and because you also had some ideas (but it sounds like you hadn’t progressed them much yet).

YANU for being annoyed aboit this and you probably did look like you were playing politics by complaining. Your complaint is about process, yet this person has achieved results.

I’d tread very carefully here. You may achieve better results by supporting this person, collaborating and adding your own ideas and working towards a common goal. Hierarchical complaints are stupid if this person had actually achieving a positive outcome for your company.

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