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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To speak to this person about going over my head at work?

50 replies

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 06:28

A couple of months ago someone joined my department in a sort of ‘deputy to me’ role. I am obviously their line manager. On day one they told me they had emailed the head of our organisation with some new ideas that were directly related to my department. I was a little irritated as these should have been run past me, and in fact, they relate to an area I want to develop further and I asked the person’s views on it at interview, so they had no reason to think I wouldn’t be interested. However, I didn’t want to sour their first day so I said nothing.

Now it turns out another manager from another department has become involved as the area the new person wants to develop sort of over-laps with this second manager’s area of focus. This has really pissed me off as now it seems the new ideas, which are great, are going to be more associated with this second manager’s department than mine. I think this has happened because of the new person getting the head involved – he has then put him in touch with manager number 2.

I get that the new person is ambitious, but this kind of stuff should go through me, and I’m annoyed that now something I was looking forward to developing has been moved from my department. I did mention my disappointment about that, and he said he ‘couldn’t be doing with office politics’, but this isn’t politics imo, it’s basic courtesy and it’s how the place is structured. WIBU to speak to him about not going above my head in future, or would that make me a nightmare and controlling boss?

OP posts:

EveningHare · 28/06/2018 09:38

The head of your organisation clearly values your 'deputy's' ideas enough to put them into motion. It sounds to me like you're envious and wishing you'd put your own ideas forward.
IMO you should be nice—this person might well be your boss one day.

Bollocks

he's an irritating twerp who wants to get up the greasy pole as quickly as possible - i would let him go but make sure you have a fully written up reason why following your company procedure
its not going to get better

Blueisland · 28/06/2018 09:41

For all those saying he should be sacked, I think that would be classed as bullying (or worse).

Palegreenstars · 28/06/2018 09:44

Agree with Blue island this is about process. It so often gets in the way of achieving results.

I would say it was wrong of your boss not to bring you into the loop. I’d be considering why he didn’t do that

CherryNib · 28/06/2018 09:47

The newcomer had not just good ideas, but "great ideas", according to OP. But yes, let's just sack him/her because a person with great ideas and initiative is not the kind of person you'd want working for you.
(!?!?!)

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 28/06/2018 09:47

For all those saying he should be sacked, I think that would be classed as bullying (or worse).

you don't "sack" people when they are on probation, you let them go because they have proven to be an unsuitable fit for the team or the business

CherryNib · 28/06/2018 09:48

I’d be considering why he didn’t do that

Agree. In fact I would be worried about my own performance.

Blueisland · 28/06/2018 09:53

Where does it say he is on probation?

FuckPants · 28/06/2018 09:55

Where does it say he is on probation?

It doesn't but it wouldn't be the norm if he wasn't on probation.

Snowysky20009 · 28/06/2018 09:58

Hard because his ideas seemed to be appreciated by the head. You could also be seen then as being petty/jealous etc, depending on how you handle it.
I personally would do the killing with kindness approach, but making clear during it, how it should have been handled. For example:-

'I've heard about your ideas regarding X, if you remember I spoke about this at your interview, being an idea I was developing. I would be interested to see what you've done so far, so could you forward me the information. In future could you also come to me first with ideas such as these, as your line manger I need to be kept in the loop. But well done for taking my ideas on board and running with them. Hopefully together we can come up with a detailed proposal'

That way you can't be accused of being petty etc, you've reinforced it was your idea, you've highlighted the chain of command, and you've put yourself back into it.

The only thing I'm unclear on is the 'sort of deputy'- he either is or isn't. Are you his line manager?

DoJo · 28/06/2018 10:11

Had they emailed these ideas before they started or on their first day in the role?

Original poster

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 10:32

Really helpful replies, than you.

I don't want anything to be too outing, though I have posted under this username about my job before, but we're not in a corporate environment and the development of new ideas/strategies is one part of what we try and do when we have management roles. Our main job is working with our 'service users' (hate that term, but trying to be vague). But yes, he is my deputy (though we don't call it that, hence the 'sort of', and I am his line manager.

The comments about misogyny definitely ring true, and that will be the case with our overall boss and the other manger, certainly. I have had issues with them both before, and have raised my concerns, so I'm annoyed with the overall head too. If I go to him with my concerns over this it will definitely be seen as petty moaning, so I'm not going to do that.

As for why I hadn't got moving on the new project myself, I have only been in post for less than a year and my department has been chronically short-staffed for that time, and will be so for another few months. We've been on survival mode, and, if I do say so myself, I've done a bloody good job of holding it all together while improving outcomes for our 'clients', not that it seems to be much appreciated by those on top. I was looking forward to developing this when we were fully staffed, so it is disappointing that it's been taken out of my hands.

I think the suggestion from Snowsky might well be the way forward for me here.

OP posts:

Original poster

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 10:34

Dojo I strongly suspect he emailed the ideas before he'd even started, yes.

OP posts:

Johnnyfinland · 28/06/2018 11:05

I still don't think he's done anything wrong. It sounds like he wasn't explicitly told the ideas were YOUR jurisdiction, and having discussed them in interview, is using his initiative to make positive suggestions. I'd have done the same as him tbh, and have done in previous roles to the delight of senior management

FloControl · 28/06/2018 11:15

I think this employee's only faux pas here is failure to follow procedure and all this suspicion of misogyny is supposition at best. He needs bringing into line early on before he makes any other errors. Termination of his employment would be akin to using a sledgehammer to crack a nut.

Original poster

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 11:24

johnny senior management may well be 'delighted' with you, but I wonder how others feel...

Btw, he's not on probation and I have no intention of trying to get rid of him, even if I thought I could. I just don't want him going over my head.

OP posts:

lulu12345 · 28/06/2018 11:38

Harsh as it sounds I disagree with most of the PPs on this. I totally get why you're pissed off, anyone in your position would be, but if you step back and think what's best for the organisation, it's that good ideas get heard and implemented quickly.

Consulting with your direct boss should mean that you get to a better decision or better thought through plan but sometimes it can lead to unnecessary delay or propel feeling they won't get the credit etc.

I think the best thing you can do is put your own frustrations to one side as best you can, and speak to the individual to say going forward you'd like to be involved so you can help. No point trying to appeal to him on grounds of your personal feelings as suspect he won't care!

Johnnyfinland · 28/06/2018 11:41

@theduchess everyone is pleased that I'm using my initiative and implementing positive changes, because it benefits other people at work as well. I'm also understaffed, I still found time to put ideas forward. I agree with the PP who said you should have got the ball rolling sooner if you wanted to be the one spearheading it. Your deputy has the right idea as far as I'm concerned, and is likely to be promoted quicker. Unless, of course, you'd specifically and clearly said to him "this is a thing that I am working on and I am in charge of" but you haven't clarified whether you did make that obvious to him so I'm assuming you didn't.

Original poster

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 12:14

In fact, his ideas could have been implemented more quickly by going through me. He joined us about 6 weeks ago and was waiting for a meeting with the other manager until last week. Had he just been dealing with me, I would have told him to prioritise it straight away and it could have been up and running by now...

OP posts:

happypoobum · 28/06/2018 12:20

I have managed someone like this. It is painful to get rid of them but much easier than spending years like this with him undermining you and playing "Boys Club"

I would give him a formal warning (depending on your procedures) for undermining you and explain that it cannot happen again.

juliej00ls · 28/06/2018 12:25

Be very careful OP I’ve worked with people like this before. You can’t conplain it sounds petty but I would suggest his motives are not good and you need to manage this individual carefully. If they wanted the best for the company and you they would have spoken to you.... they want to further themselves hence they’ve gone round you. Your senior manager could simply directed them to follow protocol and talk to you but instead have facilitated this It might be a one off hopefully but if not ..., well he might be promoted quickly and out of your area good luck

Mrsramsayscat · 28/06/2018 12:28

He was only able to do this because you let him. Your role is manager, so you need to actually manage. That would include induction and laying out expected rules and standards. And then managing people to them. As well as motivating through praising and rewarding good work, and acknowledging creativity, obviously.

ImKait · 28/06/2018 16:23

In fact, his ideas could have been implemented more quickly by going through me.

But I thought these were ideas you were already working on? Why didn't you prompt him to work on them rather than vice versa if you're the manager?

Original poster

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 21:08

Because it was day one when he told me he had emailed the head person - I barely had time to say 'hello' and he'd done it - I believe he emailed before taking up the post, so before I had a chance to say anything at all. As I have said, we are also 'front line' staff and the priority when he started was for me to brief him on the needs of our clients and get him sorted with what he was doing in that respect. Projects and new initiatives always come second to our primary role - it certainly isn't a case of me being remiss on this, though I should have tackled it before now, for sure.

OP posts:

Original poster

theduchessstill · 28/06/2018 21:11

I mean I should have tackled his actions, not the project.

OP posts:

Stirner · 28/06/2018 22:44

To be honest it sounds like you're having a fit of pique because he's outclassed you. I don't blame
Him for "going over your head" he probably didn't want you to take the credit for his ideas. If you weren't so busy playing office politics you may well have had the ball rolling sooner.

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