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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a sign of something or just generally being f**king annoying?

98 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 27/06/2018 23:20

My DH is driving me crazy.

It’s lots of little things but with increasing frequency. Just a couple of recent examples from this week. Two nights ago he asked where his sunglasses were because he left them on the shelf. I said ‘I didn’t move them, but if I did they would be in the sunglasses basket’. He stomped around, checked the basket, came back and said they weren’t there and I’d clearly moved them somewhere. Next day he text saying it was so annoying I lost his sunglasses... I was at home so went to check the basket and there they were. (And there are only four of us!)

I was running late home last night and text him to make pasta for the kids and not wait for me. My youngest DD will only eat it plain with cheese. He texts back ‘there’s no cheese’... I said ‘yes there is, there’s a whole new cheese.’ He denied it. I got home much later, opened the fridge and there was the cheese, right at the front, middle shelf. Unmissable.

This morning I was leaving for the gym and getting the kids ready, I said ‘you took my padlock can you put it in my gym bag please?’ He said yes and went out up the hall. I got to the gym, no padlock. Called him and he said he had no idea what I was talking about.

People can be annoying, I’m sure I am! But AIBU to think this is something more?

OP posts:
CrazyDaisy2018 · 28/06/2018 13:16

My DP has moments of this. I ask him if he looked properly or whether he did a mansearch before I go and help him.

His spatial awareness skills are abysmal. Though on the positive side of things, I can use it to my advantage too! He has no idea if there's a nice bar of chocolate in the fridge or won't notice that I've eaten his chocolate. He just thinks its missing, like the invisible cheese in the OP's post!

Though I had my own moment this morning. Couldn't find my mobile anywhere. Rummaging around in my bag, wondering how on earth I could have been pickpocketed on my way in to the office. Gave up and called my phone and hey presto, there it was. Right next to my office phone that I'd just used to call my mobile!

That's what I call a brain fart for me!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 28/06/2018 21:19

I love that I’m being unreasonable to have a sunglasses basket... do you suggest I just leave them strewn around?? Grin

Maybe I’m reading too much in to normal behaviour. I’ll see how it goes.

OP posts:
Wetwashing00 · 28/06/2018 21:39

Sunglasses basket?
How many do you own?
Do you put it away into a cupboard for the winter when there’s not much sun about?

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 28/06/2018 21:54

It just lives on the counter in the laundry room. Is it really that weird??

Is this a sign of something or just generally being f**king annoying?
OP posts:
UserWorried · 28/06/2018 22:34

This is normal in my house! It comes down to DH not really listening!! I ask him something, he responds giving me the false impression he was actually listening and took on board what I was saying! Later he will act like he's hearing whatever it was I said before, for the first time! Very annoying - but nothing wrong with him in a medical sense! He just doesn't fully tune in in the first place!! (He is amazingly wonderful by the way)

UserWorried · 28/06/2018 22:35

Ps. Yes a sunglasses basket is a bit weird! Wink and very middle class!

UserWorried · 28/06/2018 22:37

I'm imagining your house! humour me OP - do you also have a fruit bowl and a bowl somewhere on display with little chocolates in? and maybe pot pouri (is that how you spell it?!)

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 28/06/2018 22:44

I want a sunglasses basket Envy

DH is exactly the same. And refuses to admit when he's wrong. I just laugh at him now. DD10 is my ally in this.

He's not unpleasant about it though.

Weezol · 28/06/2018 22:46

I'm poor, working class and Northern, and I have a basket near the door for keys and sunglasses. It saves me going through the door and back three times when I'm attempting to leave the flat!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 28/06/2018 22:46

I don’t have a fruit bowl or pot pourri 😂 (And definitely not middle class!)

I was just tidying up one day and it seemed a sensible idea!

I derailed my own thread with my basket...

OP posts:
QuiteCleanBandit · 28/06/2018 22:48

Totally missing the point but dont sunglasses live in their cases?
They will get scratched #sensible

Greenglassteacup · 28/06/2018 23:20

Yes don't They get scratched in their basket? ( obsessed with the basket 😂)

glueandstick · 28/06/2018 23:30

I’ve started answering everything with ‘I don’t know’

I have been told to start paying attention. Oh the irony.

biscuitmillionaire · 28/06/2018 23:33

What's the name of our hotel? (text message at midnight after going missing in a monsoon and walking for 25km in circles on a three km wide island)
Ha! Ha! Grin

Wetwashing00 · 29/06/2018 07:48

I keep one set of glasses in every place I may need them:
Car
Work bag
Handbag
Garden bench/back door

liverbird10 · 29/06/2018 10:18

It's not a "man thing"... unless I'm a man! I frequently can't find things in cupboards that end up being right in front of my bloody face. Drives my fella round the bend.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 29/06/2018 10:27

My dad is the exact same (he’s 60 but has been for ages!). It’s not listening/being prepccupied/not deigning to listen!

KellyanneConway · 29/06/2018 10:29

I got referred to a consultant neurologist specialising in early onset dementia for this kind of behaviour! There were other symptoms in addition to being forgetful - sometimes I would totally lose my train of thought mid sentence and have to end a conversation, other times I couldn't think of the correct word for everyday items e.g. I would say, "the things for your eyes" for sunglasses. Fortunately I didn't have early onset dementia, but the consultant did tell me I needed to change my lifestyle or I would definitely have a breakdown. Does your DH have an especially stressful lifestyle or have there been any recent big life events? For me, I think it was the result of a lot of big life events (breakup, terminal illness in the family, house move) and juggling FT work with caring for children and parents in poor health. Of course, it could just be that he is being feeble/ annoying, which I guess would be preferable!

Mangoo · 29/06/2018 10:32

Omg this is my DP all over.

Another one of my favourites is asking me how long he should put something in the oven for whilst he's holding the instructions in his hands and I'm in the other room.

You've just got to laugh or you'll cry. Wine

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 29/06/2018 10:35

Stbxh was like this, but he'd take it further by denying the conversation ever happened. So if l asked for the padlock he'd either say l never asked for it or he'd reply that he had responded to me asking for it but as per usual l hadn't listened to him

Ketayuzu · 29/06/2018 11:12

I guess it depends if its new behaviour? Has he always been like this? In which case its all of those stereotypes rolled into one!

If its unlike him- it could be stress or could be something else. Worth going to doctor if hes not stressed. There are a few medical conditions that cause memory loss.

I am going to get a sunglasses basket. "Where are my sunglasses?" Is probably the sentence said most often in our house...

DaphneduWarrior · 29/06/2018 11:47

This thread is making me so happy to be single.

MirriVan · 29/06/2018 13:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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