on how to speak to someone with cancer

[LovelyBath77]

Lung cancer, a young person - very sad it seems to have spread from elsewhere as had in the past, not to do with smoking not that it makes much difference as what I wonder is about how to speak about it.

DH is all for the fighting talk, it is a battle and we must be positive. This worries me. as the prognosis is not good. Surely it might be giving false hope? But he thinks my idea which is to be generally normal and supportive might be 'negative'- in truth I think he worries I might be upset and that won't help either.

I know, sometimes there are no words. It will be very hard to not let true feelings known but it's not about others it's about the feelings of the person here and I want to try and approach it right.

Just to add, the other thing that really helped, I think, was offering practical help, like shopping, cooking, being a taxi, or even just being around with someone who may be too ill to be left alone, so that other family members can get out.

I lost my husband to cancer. There was no battle to be won as he was terminal on diagnosis with a very short prognosis. In the three months between diagnosis and the end a few friends went missing as they just didn’t know what to say or do but others and if was often the ones you least expected became our tower of support and were there for the whole family.
My husband wanted to cry with his loved ones and his strength was the very fact that others put their arms around him and cried with him.

It was ok that others admitted they were scared too, that they were angry, that they were upset and struggling. The cancer was killing him but it was ok that we could all acknowledge the pain we were all in.

www.maggiescentres.org

These are great, for anyone affected by cancer. If you have one near you, pay them a visit.

Here is a really good website for different gifts called notanotherbunchofflowers. A woman who had cancer herself created it.

Thank you, I'll have a look. Just found out the prognosis is not good. But thanks for the ideas, it does help.