To charge dd rent

[MozzchopsThirty]

So did is back from uni for good.
She's starting her msc where we live in sept and is being paid £13000 to do so (£6000 in course fees)
She will also have a job

She's been back 3 weeks, bought a puppy (£700) has created mess that I can't handle and basically does fuck all.
However she will babysit her brothers for me and sometimes makes them dinner or will put oven on if I ask.
She will also put washing out if asked.

So today I raised the topic of rent.
She was previously paying £800pm in halls.
I suggested £75 pee week.
She suggested £10 per week.

She thinks IABU and that if I ever want her to move out I should allow her to live here rent free or at £10pw.

I think £75 pw for your own room, food, own tv with sky & washing done is ok

So AIBU??

So as not to drip feed am single parent with two dependents and working full time with a mahoosive credit card bill

YANBU but standards do vary a lot on this and you will have some smug busy bodies telling you you're being unfair soon enough. I think you could counter with 50 perhaps then call her bluff and let her leave if she wants. She won't but she needs to learn being an adult means having responsibilities and not getting unconditional support anymore

I would tell her to find somewhere that will accomodate her at £10 pw then set a date for her to be out.

Both my kids from finding a weekend job paid me rent. This showed them the value of money.

Good luck OP

YANBU. If she can afford it you should charge her rent (I wouldn't charge if she was destitute and couldn't afford to ever go out etc.). It doesn't sound like she's even saving the money saved on rent so far. If you want you could put some of it towards a cleaner and put the rest in a savings account for her (although you're under no obligation)

I would be charging her how much she costs you; so you’d still have her room if she wasn’t living there (unless you would have got a lodger) but by her living there it costs extra in bills and food so £75 probably isn’t far off it.

She has already saved £3000 towards getting a house and plans to take another £3000 out of her £13000 payment

However that still leaves £4K plus whatever she earns from work
That's a lot of disposable income

She isn't a child. She pays rent or she is out. End of. £75pw for food included is amazing.

So she's paying less than half of what her rent was in halls - and thinks this is unreasonable?

Decide how much you want and simply tell her that that is the cost of board and lodge at Mozzchops Towers. If she doesn't want to rent a room there for that price she is very welcome to look for alternative lodgings - but this should not be a negotiation. Landlords don't negotiate with tenants as to what the tenant would like to pay in rent...

And £10 a week is taking the piss, as she very well knows. What services was she getting for £200 a week in halls?

bought a puppy (£70) has created mess that I can't handle and basically does fuck all.

If she can't show the most basic consideration for your and your home, of course you could charge her rent! What you should do is having a chat with her about what is expected and who is acceptable whilst she is under your roof.

Babysitting and making diner should be standard, not a favour to you!

I would just put all the money in a saving account without telling her, but I am a soft touch with my kids.

She's an adult so she needs to cover her costs. You shouldn't be out of pocket for her being there when you already have debts plus dependents to support.

Yanbu.

Any self respecting working adult should want to pay their way. I wouldn't call it 'rent' though, I would call it paying her share. I would say £50 a week is fair as I'm assuming food will cost £20, £10 for gas/electric/water and a bit more to go towards council tax and tv/broadband.

£50 a week is peanuts and if she is rude about that I'd be worried about what a self centered dd I had raised and suggest she looks elsewhere.

She should also help with housework, but if she's doing some babysitting you could let her off.

I would ask her to find her own house to mess she is taking the piss is the hassle worth it for a bit of babysitting who is going to look after a bloody dog while she is at work/uni

£333 a month (her disposable income according to you) would hardly cover your £75 a week rent and would leave her with a whooping £8 a month to cover transport and presumably phone contract and food...

You should have told her the puppy was a definite no

But she'll have a job so that will give her extra money to have fun with

£4,000 divided by 52 equals £76.92 per week. So she'd have £1.92 after paying you. I appreciate that she's chosen to put some other money into savings but still, £1.92 isn't much!

In principle, YANBU but maybe cut her some slack and settle on £50?

How much will she actually be earning a month? Before saving any that is

How will she manage a masters and a job?

I've just done a masters whilst working full time with 2 dcs
It's doo-able

It's not rent. It's just a contribution towards the cost of running the house. Everyone living there has to pay their way.

Bought a puppy?! Fucking hell. No decent breeder would have sold one to her in these circumstances, so no doubt the poor creature is puppy mill stock. Yes I would insist on charging rent now. She needs a lesson on 'The Real World'.

I'd settle for £50 but that's ridiculously cheap

Hmmm. What's she doing about the puppy's food, insurance, vet bills etc and possibly doggy daycare for when she goes out?

And it depends how much she earns from her job etc! But no £10 a week is taking the piss if she doesn't earn her keep! YADNBU

Btw just because you want her to pay a contributon doesn't mean she will be respectful she is a grown arse woman not a teenager

If you need the money then YANBU. It’s great that she’s saving money though. When it looked like I was gonna be living with my parents a few years ago we agreed £200pcm in bed and board. You’re looking at about £325 pcm which isn’t inherently unreasonable. She will have £333 to live on from her masters: I guess it’s then a case of seeing how much work she can realistically do on top of that . I honestly think the biggest problem is that she is doing things like getting a puppy if you aren’t okay with that.

Surely the biggest point here is you are a single parent with 2 dependants, a full time job and debts. You arnt comfortably off yourself so why would you charge her a token amount of £10 a week?
£75 per week sounds more than reasonable. When you are an adult you can't live for free. Pegging out a line of washing and turning the oven on are ridiculous examples and amount to very little. She should be sharing the housework and doing her own washing. Who did it for her when she was at Uni?