To charge dd rent

[MozzchopsThirty]

So did is back from uni for good.
She's starting her msc where we live in sept and is being paid £13000 to do so (£6000 in course fees)
She will also have a job

She's been back 3 weeks, bought a puppy (£700) has created mess that I can't handle and basically does fuck all.
However she will babysit her brothers for me and sometimes makes them dinner or will put oven on if I ask.
She will also put washing out if asked.

So today I raised the topic of rent.
She was previously paying £800pm in halls.
I suggested £75 pee week.
She suggested £10 per week.

She thinks IABU and that if I ever want her to move out I should allow her to live here rent free or at £10pw.

I think £75 pw for your own room, food, own tv with sky & washing done is ok

So AIBU??

So as not to drip feed am single parent with two dependents and working full time with a mahoosive credit card bill

You’re being more than fair and it’s your home so it’s not a negotiation if she wants to stay.

Tell her “£10 for you £65 for the dog”

I would charge her the £75 you proposed and, if she objects, tell her to move out - with the puppy - and find somewhere that cheap elsewhere. And don't prolong the discussions - each week that passes ia another week when she isn't paying her way, so any delay is to her advantage.
I would also personally stop funding the dog, eg food, if you are doing so.

£75 is a bargain. If she's not prepared to pay that she needs to find alternative accommodation for herself and the puppy.

YANBU. She'd have a hissy fit if she lived in her own house!!
I spend more on food a month than her whole month rent to you. Let alone broadband, t.v, bills and rent.

OP. You have yourself a cheeky mare

Of course YANBU.
Maybe change the word from 'rent' to 'housekeeping' if that helps her accept it.
She will still only be paying considerably less than 1/2 of what she has been paying previously.
If she still thinks you are being unfair, then suggest she finds somewhere else locally she can live, eat, and enjoy things such as Sky, for £10 a week.

YABU. She's your daughter, it's her childhood home. It's the least you can do to let her live in the house she grew up in. Of course she shouldn't be paying you - don't you want her to save?

Kids aren't for profiting off. She didn't ask to be born - you chose to have her.

Jess give over, she's a bloody adult not a child. Said adult has chosen to continue their education to a point above and beyond the regular pathway, most people would expect to be in employment by now. "Didn't ask to be born" is the argument of a 12 year old!

It's not like OP is making profit, she's just asking her daughter a fair amount to cover her living costs.

@Jess.
So your child if you have one can live in your house till whenever and not pay for any of the food they eat, the water, gas and electric they use?the internet they use? The tv license they take advantage of?

Yanbu OP. 75 is a nice and cheap amount. She can pay all that from her funds and whatever she earns from her job she can spend on her self and whatever of her fees are left if any. She is an adult that paid a lot more then that for 3 years so I don't see why she is complaining?

£75 a week is a massive bargain. Don’t listen to her ranting, OP. She bought a £700 puppy, I think she can afford your extremely reasonable rent.

Who the hell is going to be putting in the hours looking after that puppy?
Of course she should pay a realistic sum for rent.

Absolutely not being unreasonable at all. As others have said... she is welcome to move out and find somewhere else that will let her and her new puppy stay for £10-£75 a week if she wants!

When I moved back from uni and was earning full time, I would have been mortified not to have paid my parents. The arrangement we came to was a third of whatever I earned each month went to them for rent (they actually kept it in savings for me for future support, but I didn't know that at the time, and we are fortunate in my family to have been able to do that), one third went in my savings account, and one third was for me to live off. Worked brilliantly, taught me the value of money and being a responsible part of a household, as well as a daughter in her safe family home. We all have to learn those lessons sometime!

I couldn't and wouldn't charge my children rent if they lived with me.
Myself, my husband and our baby lived with my dad for absolutely nothing. Moved back when I was pregnant. No way would he ever take anything from me/ us.

I would love to take your room, board, tv, etc for £75. When can I move in?

YANBU.

Is she good with money (based on puppy purchase sounds like no)? Could you charge rent but keep it as a graduation gift? Is rent something you’ve discussed before? Is this about the principle or the amount of rent?

Clearly though - as evidenced by paying out £700 for a puppy - she has plenty of money.
I'd be prepared to negotiate with her if she were unemployed or only able to get a min hours, zero hours contract, but if she can afford that on a puppy (not sure who is looking after it if she is working PT, and doing a masters, and, presumably socialising ??), then she needs to understnad that you buy luxuries after you have had paid for essentials that's how being a grown up, works.

Hang on, what?! She's got a HELL of a lot of growing up to do if she's just shopped for a puppy-farm pup in those circumstances....how did that happen OP? How was she able to just merrily go and get a puppy to live in your house?!

She's taking the piss.

Could you work out how much her share of everything is, food, bills etc and charge her that? That's what we do, then they can see that we're being fair. And then either tack a bit extra on for services - meals cooked etc, or strict chores rota to ensure she does her share.

Stick with 75 and I’d she keeps huffing and complaining, make it 100

On second thoughts I wouldn't even give her the chance to object to my proposed amount and would be telling her that as she has finished uni she will have to continue living like an adult and find alternative accommodation. Why on earth OP would want her and a dog back with all the mess and upheaval for a tenner a week?

I am not someone who likes parents charging rent for their children, but I can see why you would like to - particularly in light of the puppy situation. I think 75£ a week is harsh as she will have 0 money left at the end of the month, so I would say 50£ a week. Then she has 100£ a month for spending. You can reassess this once she is earning. I kind of think it’s the first time in her life she will have a proper disposable income, but the last time she will have to be carefree and without financial worry, so I would want to give her a little window of just enjoying herself. Sounds like you’ve done a wonderful job raising a hard-working young lady.

Take a fair amount from her monthly, but don't leave her with nothing for herself.

£75pw leaves her with nothing to spend, which means she could/would then be asking you for money and by the sounds of it, you don't have any to spare.
You'd be effectively taking with one hand and giving back with the other.

You're massive credit card bill isn't her fault.

The puppy though... did she not ask for your permission at all?

The bit random but to help her could you charge the 75 per week but put 25 of it in a svaings account for her. That way your getting bills.covered but also helping her out as making her save something

I started paying £250pm to my parents as soon as I hit 17, I had a full time job and was also doing full time at college. I was also expected to keep my room clean and do my share of household chores. I would say charge a percentage of her earnings.. She won't learn anything getting charged a tenner a week. The real world doesn't work like that, FYI I'm in my early 20s so probably the same age as your daughter, she needs to contribute to the bills if she's living there x