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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what's the difference between Marriage and Civil Partnership?

186 replies

supersop60 · 27/06/2018 18:42

Following the High Court ruling that the heterosexual couple may now have a civil partnership. I listened to an interview with them, and I can't see what the legal difference is. (not talking about ceremonies, venues etc here - that's all optional anyway)

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 27/06/2018 21:06

I think it's quite interesting that small but significant numbers of people have entered into civil partnerships since gay marriage was legalised. For example, there were 861 in 2015. I do think that as there is something more appealing about them for some gay couples, the same could be true of straight couples too.

BlueGlasses · 27/06/2018 21:09

I'm a registrar of births, deaths and marriage. There are a few key differences between marriage and civil partnership.

Firstly in how they are formed. Marriage is a verbal contract. There has to be both declaratory and contracting words said. Then the details of the couple are entered into a marriage register which is signed by the couple, 2 witnesses, a superintendent registrar (the person who conducted the ceremony) and a registrar (the person who registered the marriage in the register).

CP's are formed when both parties sign a schedule. This can be done as part of a ceremony but can also be done with just the couple, 2 witnesses and a single superintendent registrar present and no vows are exchanged. It all becomes legal when the document is signed.

The other major difference is how marriages and CP's end. Divorce versus dissolution.

Other than that they are essentially the same.

Interestingly many couples who had originally entered into a CP have opted to convert them to a marriage since same sex marriage became law.

wheezing · 27/06/2018 21:11

I am thrilled this passed and will consider getting a civil partnership in the future.

I get that you can do marriage - and lots of people do - without the awful sexist bits but to me the idea is a bit tainted and I would like a way to formalise my long term relationship without all the connotations of marriage.

ALittleAubergine · 27/06/2018 21:14

From what I've understood civil partnership used to be marriage for gay people but will now be marriage for the easily offended.

P3onyPenny · 27/06/2018 21:29

Thanks Blue

I much prefer the civil description. Declarations are not my bag.

Don't get why if so many MNers are allegedly concerned re unmarried mothers being unprotected they wouldn't welcome couples being able to have civil partnerships. Many would prefer the above and it would lead to less unprotected families.Confused

burnoutbabe · 27/06/2018 21:37

Let's face it, the men who won't marry the mother of their kids also won't enter into civil partnership with them.
It would be mostly middle class professional couples/feminist types.
It won't help many people who do need protection.

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 27/06/2018 21:40

If they extend CPs I suspect a lot of people will find out that their partner does not in fact have a principled objection to the institution of marriage...

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 27/06/2018 21:43

Don't get why if so many MNers are allegedly concerned re unmarried mothers being unprotected they wouldn't welcome couples being able to have civil partnerships. Many would prefer the above and it would lead to less unprotected families. A man who won't marry you won't want a civil partnership either because there is no significant difference. It's not marriage-lite.

JustGiveMeTwoMinutes · 27/06/2018 21:43

So marriage is still sexist because your father's name and occupation goes on the marriage certificate and there is no option to put your mother's name instead.

Also, in response to Blue's post, can someone be stopped from getting married by having laryngitis and not being able to speak?!?

BlueGlasses · 27/06/2018 21:47

TwoMinutes I've never come across anyone who has lost their voice totally. A whisper will suffice!

MinervaJMcGonagall · 27/06/2018 21:48

Anybody care to answer why they want to avoid the misogynistic associations around marriage but are happy with the homophobic associations around civil partnership?

BlueGlasses · 27/06/2018 21:52

Also legislation passing through parliament at the moment which, if successful, will see the use of schedules instead of registers for marriages meaning the names of both parents can be recorded on the marriage certificate as they already are on a CP certificate. BTW marriage certificates (in their current form) are currently the only certificates that we still hand write.

Thurlow · 27/06/2018 21:58

Again, seriously, why is anyone bothered if CP's are extended to heterosexual couples?

RandomMess · 27/06/2018 22:02

I can't believe the nastiness towards posters that would prefer a CP to a marriage Confused

If personal experience means that you would prefer a cp why does that matter to anyone else?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 27/06/2018 22:03

If a civil partnership is dissolved how are the assets divided? Is there a 50/50 starting point like in divorce?

Lottapianos · 27/06/2018 22:05

'I can't believe the nastiness towards posters that would prefer a CP to a marriage'

Me neither. Green eyed monster maybe?

MinervaJMcGonagall · 27/06/2018 22:05

Because civil partnerships began as a token gesture to gay people because it wasn't thought appropriate for us to be allowed to marry.

Same but different isn't equal.

I'm still waiting for my right to call my marriage a marriage in my own country.

MinervaJMcGonagall · 27/06/2018 22:06

Green eyed monster????

Lottapianos · 27/06/2018 22:10

'because it wasn't thought appropriate for us to be allowed to marry. '

That was very wrong. Of course same sex couples should be allowed to marry if they choose. But civil partnership exists and some same sex couples are still choosing it rather than marriage. Why not give everyone the same choice?

RandomMess · 27/06/2018 22:11

Because they prefer to have the legal protection CP offers than not have it and don't want to marry.

Just as some gay and straight people want to be married despite the misogynistic origin, some gay and straight people would prefer CP despite the homophobic origin.

RandomMess · 27/06/2018 22:12

Whole point is those that wish to have a CP don't want the same thing as marriage, they want something different to it.

Original poster
supersop60 · 27/06/2018 22:13

blueglasses - thanks for your explanation.
It isn't law that everyone can now get a CP - it would have to go through Parliament, but it's an interesting development.
Thanks for all your comments!

OP posts:
goodbyeeee · 27/06/2018 22:13

Some of these responses are really unpleasant. What is so wrong with people having a choice over how to achieve legal recognition of their relationship? Live and let live. No-one is saying you can't get married and enjoy being married just that they'd prefer to have a different option. Why is that so offensive?

I take the point that CP were originally introduced to allow gay people as an option when marriage wasn't but not all gay people with CP habe chosen to marry. What's the problem with everyone having the choice?

goodbyeeee · 27/06/2018 22:14

Sorry cross posts there...

MinervaJMcGonagall · 27/06/2018 22:20

Because I live in NI and still can't count myself as married here in my own country. We're still fighting to be allowed to marry. I dunno maybe I'm being unreasonable but it feels like a slap in the face. I have to argue the validity of my relationship here because it's classed as a civil partnership not a marriage.

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