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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate living with my grown up children?

30 replies

Mightyfedup · 26/06/2018 23:48

I have 3 of them at home during uni holidays. Entitled and lazy. Absolutely hate coming home in the evenings. They don't see their father and have summer holiday jobs...

OP posts:
KinCat · 27/06/2018 03:10

If they're still at uni you can hardly expect them to not come home in the holidays. Speak to them about their lazy behaviour though because that's not fair.

Candyflip · 27/06/2018 03:20

I hear you. Mine are working too, but I am so fucking fed up of the hours they keep. I really shouldn’t be, because so what? But it just infuriates me for some reason.

dundermiflin · 27/06/2018 03:24

Are they rude to you op? Or just come home and expect everything done for them?

Monty27 · 27/06/2018 04:09

They have summer jobs? Excellent. But then they dont know about housework? Yes i sympathise.

malificent7 · 27/06/2018 04:45

Don't do anything for them. They can do it.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/06/2018 05:42

That sounds sad. I have 3 as well but whilst I quite enjoy the peace and lack of housework when they’re away, I also love it when they are home.

Maelstrop · 27/06/2018 07:04

They can be as lazy as they like as long as you aren’t tearing round cleaning up after them. They’re adults, please let them do their own cleaning, cooking and washing and put up a rota giving them jobs.

Original poster
Mightyfedup · 27/06/2018 18:03

They create a lot of housework and are very entitled and quite rude. They get unpleasant if asked to do housework or turn music down.

OP posts:
KatnissMellark · 27/06/2018 18:06

If they want to act like stroppy 14 year olds, treat them like it. Change the WiFi password!

watchingwithinterest · 27/06/2018 18:09

Put your foot down. First day list of expectations and rules in the house. A rota for the cleaning. List B consequences if they overstep the mark. Including having to move out. No money, phones, wifi etc.

They are grown up they need to learn to respect you and your home.

I would also try to organise some family days together so you can reconnect with them.

RedHelenB · 27/06/2018 18:10

Loving having my dd home from uni.

Bombardier25966 · 27/06/2018 18:14

They create a lot of housework and are very entitled and quite rude.

How did they turn out that way?

Original poster
Mightyfedup · 27/06/2018 18:18

Bombar I don't behave like that if that is what your unpleasant comment is hinting at. Great that your children are perfect.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 27/06/2018 18:19

I don't understand - they are your children, although adult now. If mine have an attitude with me they will quickly find out that it is not acceptable and climb down plus apologise. Why would you tolerate it? They would also be doing their share of housework.

Dumbledoresgirl · 27/06/2018 18:19

I hear you. I've got 3 as well. The eldest isn't so bad in that he gets up early and is helpful around the house when asked, makes the evening meal, etc, but then he has finished uni and should be getting started on his career - No obvious sign he is doing that.

But the other 2: getting up at midday, up half the night, resentful when asked to cook or clean, not friendly when I go into their rooms and asked them to tidy it or find a job, or just get up and get some sun on their faces. I was really narked off yesterday and they have only been on holiday for a week.

RedHelenB · 27/06/2018 18:25

But she's at least making tea, putting washing on the line and walking the dog.

user1471453601 · 27/06/2018 18:42

Don't give up hope. Children grow up and do change. I live with my DD and her partner. Today I was meeting a friend in the city she (DD, that is )works in. She had told me that she was working from home in the afternoon as she had to pick up some papers from someone who worked near to our home in the late morning.

I woke and found a message from her, saying she had re arranged the pick up and would be in the city in the afternoon and could take me home because, in her words, it's much too hot for you to use public transport. She's 48 next week, and all the shit i put up with in her teenage years is forgotten now she is such a caring and responsible adult.

Atalune · 27/06/2018 18:43

What are you going to do about it?

Summersnake · 27/06/2018 18:45

Surely it's so much better now they are older..your not tidying their toys. Wiping their buns,organising babysitters,having to help with homework...I love mine being older..and I'm soooo looking forward to when they gave completely flown the nest

Summersnake · 27/06/2018 18:47

Buns??? Bum 😁

Gottagetmoving · 27/06/2018 18:49

Mightyfedup
My grown up children were far from perfect but I wouldn't have had them coming home if they were that bad.
People (including family) take the piss because they are allowed to.
My kids would always be welcome but not at that price and they know it!

Summersnake · 27/06/2018 18:51

Do a rota op ,of jobs ,put everyone's name on and share out the jobs..make them pay some rent ...if they dont do the jobs take more money to pay for a cleaner...treat it like a flat share...just a thought if things get really bad x

Fairenuff · 27/06/2018 18:51

Why don't they do housework?

Sgtmajormummy · 27/06/2018 19:02

I’m quite enjoying using mine (back from first year) as a replacement responsible adult, taking his sister to activities, staying in for deliveries and doing a few bits like the printer’s or dry cleaning.
I’m consequently better organised and things are in less of a panic mode. All this for slightly higher food bills, increased laundry and use of the car on Saturday nights. Bargain!
It’s like old times but without the stress of school exams and he’s better company because, after a year of living alone, he actually appreciates how much effort goes into running a household and working.

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