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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shout at my neighbour at 7.30 this morning

63 replies

Tara336 · 26/06/2018 10:53

Our neighbour whose home is side on to our back garden advised us last week that they want to demolish the garage that makes up a part of the boundary and really place replace a fence.

I went and chatted to them it seemed all friendly and reasonable and I asked that they let us know when they were going to do it as we have dogs that might escape , patio furniture next to the wall they are demolishing and we have French door stop in our bedroom and kitchen with no curtains and so for privacy reasons want notice.

It was all agreed very friendly they would keeps us in the loop.

Fast forward to 7.30 this morning we had overslept and I’m woken by banging I look up and there’s two men on the garage roof looking straight into our bedroom while myself and DP are laying in bed.

So my question was AIBU when I got out in the garden in my PJS and ask what exactly they think they are doing? Because according to the neighbour there’s is no problem and I’m being unreasonable

OP posts:

SoddingUnicorns · 26/06/2018 10:55

Why weren’t your curtains/blinds shut? It would have avoided the problem.

Thistles24 · 26/06/2018 11:00

7:30 is pretty early to start demolishing a garage, however I'm can't get past the fact that you have French doors in your bedroom and no curtains/blinds! If I were you I'd change that ASAP, the garage may have provided privacy that the new fence won't.

Flowerpotbicycle · 26/06/2018 11:00

Sodding because if they’re not usually overlooked why would they?
I never close my curtains as my bedroom window is not overlooked by anything... unless someone was in a cherry picker / at the top of our oak tree.

LeighaJ · 26/06/2018 11:03

YANBU because you and the neighbour had a verbal agreement that they ignored. Not very neighbourly at all of them.

Your choice to not have curtains is your choice obviously.

SamHeughansLeftEyebrow · 26/06/2018 11:03

They should have let you know work was starting today, but 7.30 is pretty standard round here for the construction industry. Especially when it is this hot, so they want to crack on before it is too bad.

There was no need to shout at them. It was not their fault you had overslept.

LighthouseSouth · 26/06/2018 11:14

hmm
feel like a few people have missed the point

OP, you weren't told work was starting today or at 7.30?

Round here I don't think you can start that kind of thing till 8 anyway.

your neighbour should have told you a date so you could have been prepared.

diddl · 26/06/2018 11:17

Why would you ask what they were doing when it was perfectly obvious?

Why didn't you say that you were surprised that they hadn't let you know?

I agree that 7.30 is a pretty standard start time.

Bluntness100 · 26/06/2018 11:18

They should have told you yes, but i don't think shouting at them is really going to help anything.

specialsubject · 26/06/2018 11:18

it gets light very early now so not having curtains seems a way to be awake at 5am - but that is the OP's choice.

the OP also raised the no curtains issue and asked for advance warning - and didn't get it. That's the problem.

SoddingUnicorns · 26/06/2018 11:19

@Flowerpotbicycle well no, but I do think that the neighbour did give fair warning so exploding may have been an overreaction.

Having a quiet chat might have been better!

Seeline · 26/06/2018 11:20

good thing they woke you if you had overslept misses the point

mumsastudent · 26/06/2018 11:25

They shouldn't be making noise before 8am check local laws/rules council

IWantMyHatBack · 26/06/2018 11:25

Typical that people are focusing on the lack of curtains instead of the actual issue.

If course you're not being unreasonable, he should let you know what he's doing, as per your agreement

Bibesia · 26/06/2018 11:27

Sodding, how did the neighbours give fair warning if they had agreed to keep OP in the loop didn't tell her when work was about to start?

JessicaJonesJacket · 26/06/2018 11:27

I don't think shouting at someone in your PJs can ever be deemed a reasonable response to building work.

FaFoutis · 26/06/2018 11:30

YANBU at all. Your neighbour is a selfish bastard (but then most people are).

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 26/06/2018 11:33

I think YABU shouting at them for starting work on their own property that you knew about a week ago. Tbf I would have sorted out blinds/voiles/curtains and shifted the garden furniture then.

YANBU to be pissed off though!

Ivymaud · 26/06/2018 11:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elephantscanring · 26/06/2018 11:38

Blimey, the heat seems to be making some posters grumpy. Not you, OP!

YANBU. You asked the neighbours to let you know when work would start, they agreed to but then did not. This does not bode well for the rest of the job...

Perhaps talking to your neighbour would be better than shouting at the workmen, though.

Now you have to sort out garden furniture, blinds etc. (But I would probably have done this last week, just in case...)

soulrider · 26/06/2018 11:43

Were they actually demolishing anything or just doing prep work?

If they weren't actually demolishing anything yet, then they probably didn't think there was any need to let you know until they were about to do so.

PrivateDoor · 26/06/2018 11:45

As above it really depends what they were doing.

FrolickingForklift · 26/06/2018 11:49

I can see how you might be a bit put out but they mightn't actually be starting the demolition work and your neighbour did advise they would be starting this work so you were aware that the issue of the windows would come up. Going to shout at them is just likely to cause unnecessary friction.

GailTheGoldfish · 26/06/2018 11:49

Did they not have to seek planning permission for this?

MiniCooperLover · 26/06/2018 11:50

Did you get your garden furniture moved out of the way in time OP? I guess your neighbour prob thought 'oh we did tell you it was happening soon' but they should have been more precise with you I agree.

problembottom · 26/06/2018 11:50

YABVU - your neighbour gave you a general warning about the work which they didn't need to do and you should have covered your french windows immediately if you were worried about them seeing you.

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