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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To resent the men disrupting feminist chat

113 replies

Angryresister · 26/06/2018 00:34

It seems to me that Mumsnet used to be a place where women's and girls issues were named and talked about by clever witty women . Now we are being shouted down by [redacted on OP's behalf by MNHQ] which exists to deny women's reality. Good brave women are leaving as they are no longer able to talk about their concerns. So many women have become more aware of the issues here. I am angry that mumsnet are allowing this to happen

OP posts:
OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 26/06/2018 07:27

Getting away from TRA stuff and back to the question and first post. (No I haven't rttft, I'll be late for work) It's not just mn, it's the new reality . The poster who said its not a cult-no it isn't. It's people who think their "rights" supercede the rights of another group.Whether it's women, poc, gay, whatever. If you've seen your group fight for rights and win them, to whatever extent, then there is someone who is threatened by that and will use every bullying tactic they can to shout you down. (And let's face it, they have been legitimised by the election of the biggest bully.) What do we need to do? I'd normally say, just keep being rational, passionate and informed. But they don't play by those rules. So, I don't know.

AuntieStella · 26/06/2018 07:31

You cannot reliably know the sex (or gender) of a poster on the internet.

And not all feminists agree with the radfem and GC agendas.

You cannot silence those women. Nor is it right to assume they are men.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 26/06/2018 08:20

True, I never realised the extent of the issue until I read it on here. However a point can be clearly made without hyperbole or nastiness

Agreed

But this is what annoys me, the board has loads of posters NOT doing the above

other boards have loads of posters DOING the above

And aside from the odd 'mumsnet has changed' thread no one seems to care about other boards

And i agree with others helena just ignore...its much more satisfying

Plus bloody hell that pm!!!!

ShatnersWig · 26/06/2018 08:28

@HelenaDove I had that same private message too.

The hilarious thing is I'm a man. He was too fucking stupid to even read the original thread to discover that fact. Muppet.

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 26/06/2018 08:32

shatners

I was prepared to be incensed on your behalf

Now im just sniggering....i hope you said yes please, and then told him you were a man Grin

Although thinking about it its probably a good idea that you DIDNT do that!!!

ShatnersWig · 26/06/2018 08:36

Rufus I was sorely tempted to play along for a bit and wind the wanker up but decided I bet he's messaged loads of people and not just me and he's probably (hopefully) been banned before he'd read a reply.

Pisses me off that some fuckwits do that sort of shit which only fuels the fire that men are for the most part total wankers. I apologise on behalf of us perfectly normal men who aren't total wankers for the likes of Tarquin and Bekind

Bowlofbabelfish · 26/06/2018 08:40

For those who don’t hang out on FWR much, it’s my opinion that yeah, they are under siege at the mo.

We are seeing an awful lot of posters engaging in deliberate goading and derailing.

The current charming tactic is to equate sensitive issues with being a transwoman, so last week we had two or three posters insist that female infertility is just exactly the same thing as being a transwoman. Obviously women struggling with infertility find that goady. It’s like telling someone who’s been bereaved that it’s just like when your goldfish died.

This week we’ve had a specific and unpleasant way of treating a gynaecological cancer and it’s physical after effects appropriated as something that’s exactly akin to what transwomen suffer.

The posters in question have managed to post these opinions directly in response to women who have suffered these issues - and then report them when they get told it’s offensive. Seems targeted to me.

Language is being policed, there are now things you cannot say or you’ll be deleted and banned - for example you cannot use any mention of the natal sex of a transperson.

Women are having to tie themselves in knots linguistically to express concepts and discuss. That’s not great.

FWR has always been a robust place to discuss and I’d say there’s a fair amount of humour there actually - the humourless feminist trope is a tired one, but one pushed relentlessly by the media. Because it’s inportant to demonise women who speak out about issues that affect all women - if you can present them as fringe loons you can dismiss them.

However when those women are raising objections to the removal of women’s rights and child safeguarding - people might want to listen, because those rights and safeguarding rules are important.

Waddlelikeapenguin · 26/06/2018 09:04

shatners Grin thst cheered me right up

HelenaDove Flowers

bowl yes!
Biology may be unkind but it is true. If the special ones declare they are able to fly we'll be banned from discussing gravity Hmm

Angryresister · 26/06/2018 10:46

Thank you to all of you who have observed the points I made in the original post, interesting that nowhere did I mention transgender, but it certainly rang bells for many.

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 26/06/2018 16:56

siwel i was not attacking I was simply standing up for myself The fact that you see that as attacking says a lot about you.

Shatner Smile

You see Siwel Shatner and i have disagreed on the odd thing politically but have always remained polite and courteous to each other.

Im not an attacky person. What you saw was me standing up for myself. And if you cant see that i was deliberately being taken out of context and gaslighted ...........well you really are a lost cause.

And Lus behaviour towards me was worse than Tarquins. Thats how i feel about it.

ShatnersWig · 26/06/2018 17:06

Helena Indeed we have!

siwel123 · 26/06/2018 17:29

Attacking = you and the other poster arguing.

siwel123 · 26/06/2018 17:32

But I do admit that the other poster was taking what you said out of context.
And being a tad rude

HelenaDove · 26/06/2018 17:51

And gaslighting and trying to slut shame. Yep Pretty rude.

LuMarie · 26/06/2018 17:52

@siwel123

The context was that this poster was writing untruthful things about me simultaneously across multiple boards in the middle of the night.

Insinuated that I had an issue with social housing, that I had something to do with a dodgy pm, that I was connected to someone being associated with rape.

That was the context and I think that's all pretty rude.

Add in the screaming victim hysterics out of nowhere directed at me , I think it's unreasonable to say a person keeping their cool is rude when another screaming bloody murder is all good.

HelenaDove · 26/06/2018 17:53

If she slut shames a woman who hasnt had sex for years id hate to see what she says about women who do!

LuMarie · 26/06/2018 17:54

Oh and now apparently I slut shame.

Offensive victim playing.

HelenaDove · 26/06/2018 17:54

Lu you are the one who got the deletions

siwel123 · 26/06/2018 17:57

I'm so confused Grin.
What I can see is you both have some very serious disagreements with each other and this came onto this thread and that's why I said it's going to get fun as I felt An argument was coming.

Sorry if offended either of you though

LuMarie · 26/06/2018 18:09

@siwel123 you didn't offend me at all, or say anything offensive. Your response of "Oh this should be good" theme is by far the best way to go!

I slipped from that and got all the insinuations and accusations, plus now I'm apparently slut shaming for goodness sake.

I naturally didn't appreciate all the suggestions thrown at me (i.e. associated with a rapist/a slut shamer/somehow have something to do with dodgy pm/prejudiced re social housing) and this was happening across boards, so was responding.

I was just explaining why the responses may have seemed strong but in context I don't agree with rude.

I'm not offended though, no need to worry, thank you and I hope you enjoyed the show (which I'm desperately trying to get out of!)

LuMarie · 26/06/2018 18:11

Yes I am discussing the deletions with MNHQ now as well as your behaviour and what to do about you. Possibly reporting has something to do with only mine being removed for now.

Slut shaming, so offensive a suggestion.

Please do not hypothesise about what you think I might do and please stop accusing me of all these offensive and random uncontrollable things.

HelenaDove · 26/06/2018 18:26

I didnt report ANY of your posts Lu As MN will confirm. I simply took the advice of other MNers and stopped posting.

HelenaDove · 26/06/2018 18:35

The paying for dates thread has been deleted as the OP seems to be a previously banned poster.

BeyondFemaleElitist · 26/06/2018 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ as it contains screenshots from a deleted thread.

Maryzsnewaccount · 26/06/2018 18:49

What a surprise. We would never have guessed it was a PBP [cynical]

And obviously mnhq couldn't know which is why they had to let him run rampant for 48 hours [even more cynical]

It really is open season for trolls and PBPs these days. I'm sure he's back already.

ffs.

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