To reject this friend request?

[limallama]

Ok so this all seems very high school and I can't believe I'm even giving it the time of day. But it has bothered me.

My dh's ex wife has sent me a friend request on Facebook. She has been nothing but vile to me and Dh since I have known her. (Before anyone asks, no I was not the OW and she is remarried too). So we are not friends and I only really have my actual friends on Facebook. People I would have a friendly conversation with in real life if I bumped into them.

AIBU to decline this friend request? I don't want to start any drama but I don't really understand why she has sent this request. In an ideal world I would prefer it if we were friendly but she has been so vile that I'm not sure that could ever happen. Im a bit uneasy with her following my Facebook feed too. To be honest the woman gives me anxiety & panic attacks. I dread interaction with her. I feel though that if I decline she can use this against me somehow to the kids, that she has been friendly even sending me a request on Facebook and I the big bad wolf declined it. I don't want to upset the kids. I'm probably reading way too much into it but it has unsettled me. AIBU WWYD?

When I met DP one of the first things I did was to find and block his kids and ex

does he know?

OP just dismiss it. she probably was just nosing and done it by accident. If she wanted to talk she would have connected via messenger which is message only not add friend.

Ignore it. Don’t respond at all.

It may be accidental. She may have been snooping and accidentally sent you the request

I'd accept and restrict. Then every now and again do a public post so she thinks your posting and that she can see your wall

I have my profile set to private, I don't accept any friends, and if she asks you can say you hardly check FB, you don't use it much, no point in adding her.

Make sure you have everything set to private.

or you could send her a message, that she would see without accepting btw, asking if she meant to add friend you.

don't decline it, as she could ask again. Although it's almost certainly a mis-click on her behalf!

if you just leave it hanging it just sits forever!

If you want her as a fb friend, accept.
If you don't want her as a fb friend, decline or ignore. There is nothing more to it.

Decline. For all she knows you hardly go on FB so might not even have seen the request

I'd accept and put on restricted access so she can't see much of mine but i could see her facebook, but i'm quite nosey! 😂

Just don't respond to it - she will presume you haven't seen it

Decline and block her. That way it just looks like you aren't even on Facebook. Why on earth would you accept someone who has been vile to you, even if you do restrict their view of your profile. She probably just wants to be nosey and get ammunition from your Facebook. Don't let her do it.

I would decline. She probably wants to snoop or cause trouble.

AIBU to decline this friend request?

Why on earth would you want to accept it?

Just ignore it and if it ever comes up say you didn't see it or you thought you had accepted it. Or just say 'you've been vile to me so why would we be friends on Facebook'!

Forget about it and don't let it bother you.

I would just ignore it completely- that's what I do with people who I do not want to be FB friends with.

Mainly because I do not like them/am not friends with them in real life...why would i want to share my FB thoughts/photos etc with them?

Another vote for ignore indefinitely.

I’d just respond, that’s what I do wothbawkward requests - it doesn’t show as declined then.

I’d just NOT respond, I meant

Just don’t accept it. Better than declining

is it possible she's connecting to you because it's an easy way to communicate about family stuff/share sports day photos etc?

I'd leave it as requested. Neither accept nor delete. Just act like you've never seen it

OMG I can’t believe you’re even asking if YABU in not accepting a friend request from someone who isn’t a friend. Why are you bothered what she says to the kids? You’re the adult & you don’t have to explain to anyone why you didn’t accept her request. You’re not the big bad wolf not accepting an olive branch of friendship from her. If she wants to be friendly and be on better terms with you then her behaviour will determine that not a hollow fake gesture such as this.

I would neither accept nor decline it. Just leave it as pending, which continually shows up on her end as 'friend request sent'. This way, for all she knows you might not have even been on Facebook for 10 years to see it.

In any event, I certainly wouldn't accept it, nor would I go the faff of accepting and then putting her on a restricted list.

Why are some people such pushovers they’d accept it? Baffling. Delete the request after blocking her entirely.

You're anxious already just because she sent it. It won't do your health any good to accept it. Just reject and ignore.