Mother in law always brings her own hand towel: AIBU?!

[whoknowswhattocallmyself]

So my mother-in-law always brings her own towels (to save on washing...) when she comes to stay.

But AIBU to be irritated that she leaves her hand towel in the bathroom until the second she leaves so she never has to use mine?! My hand towels aren’t perfectly clean (I always put a fresh one out for her as now I feel paranoid) and I don’t have any diseases.

Trying to remain zen about it but feeling rather insulted!

You don’t think that gets a towel clean enough?

I know it doesn’t.

Various bacteria will survive that. Considering what towels are used for... 🤢

My MIL brings her own pillows. Apparently the 4 I provide her with aren't to her standards.

I suspect she also brings her own towels, as the ones I provide are always suspiciously untouched and immaculate looking when she leaves. But as I never venture into the bedroom or en suite she uses while here, I cannot be sure.

@Battleax what, wiping clean water from freshly washed skin?!

My DM brings her own towel because she washes and dries her face, but doesn’t necessarily get all her make up off, meaning it can end up on my towels which worries her.

Out of interest battleax, how do you know?

Do you boil wash everything? On 100 degrees?

You do know an enzymatic detergent is far more effective at removing anything biological , and they work best at 40 ish degrees. That plus a quick whizz in the tumble dryer.

Have you studied microbiology? Even boiling isn’t enough to kill many bacteria, which is why pasteurisation and the like exist. And your washing mashine is unlikely to maintain a high enough temp for long enough.

Ugh I could never use someone's damp used hand towel that was not clean to begin with.

Yanbu to be offended, though from your OP I can see why she brings her own.

Oh gosh! Hideous typo!
Clearly I meant my towels are perfectly clean!
Funny! Apologies to all who think I’m a skank!

They might smell musty? She might be using it to wipe down the bath before she goes in (I used to do this at my sil’s house as her bathroom is a pigsty but used to say I have allergies).

It was more fun thinking you were proudly declaring your skankiness .

It was a typo

Well in that case I would ask her what is the issue.

Love they typo op.

This would annoy me too but again i had a dd with OCD who was paranoid about such things. She’s fine now but Maybe your mil has similar?

She probably uses it to dry her face. I wouldn't use someone else's hand towel to dry my face so would take my own if I didn't just use my hair towel anyway

My DM always brings her own towels to save washing. I think she has a hand sized towel in the bathroom too, but I think it’s for washing in the morning with......not hand washing I don’t think. I don’t really enquirie.

Battleax what, wiping clean water from freshly washed skin?!

Stop. You’re triggering me

There are so many genuine reasons for this that you've got to work quite hard to be offended I expect.

Does she have a guest bathroom or share yours? If sharing why on earth would she want to use someone else's hand towel?
I always provide guests with a set of clean towels including a hand towel. In the downstairs loo we have a basket of rolled up flannels and a basket to chuck used ones in, so everyone gets a clean one.
Damp towels are breeding grounds for bacteria, viruses and fungi. And you never know if a child has wiped their nose on it or a person with a fungal nail infection or warts dried their hands on it.

Lol OP - never get things like that wrong on MN.

I think your MIL is a bit strange but I couldn’t get wound up about this. Maybe it is more that she’s trying to save you extra hassle.

Have you studied microbiology?

No and I’m not reading the rest of that paragraph either

I’m perfectly happy with my 80 degree towel washes, thanks

O do give over. Some people have little quirks re cleanliness. Often they know its a bit irrational so don't want to discuss it. If she hasn't taken out an ad in the local paper saying 'DIL has dirty towels' then leave the poor woman alone.

Ha love the typo! You've not made the same mistake telling your MIL have you?!?

I take my own towels and sheets if the person I am visiting uses conditioner. My skin hates conditioner and it's not really a big deal is it?

Come on OP. We want a photo of the towels. 🤣

I always take my own towel. Only because I have eczema and extremely sensitive skin. It’s taken me many years to control it and don’t wish to risk it.

I have a friend who sleeps with her towel on the bed whenever we’ve stayed somewhere. Not because the sheets aren’t clean, but again because of her skin.

Oh my goodness do are we sisters - my mum does exactly this !!

Have no problem with her bringing own towels to save on washing when she stays. That is kind and helpful.

Its the packing everything in the car and having a wee, then leaving with just her towel and handbag that I find rude!

When she goes to her friends houses for dinner I do not think she takes a hand towel in case she needs the loo!!

Everything here is clean!!! I think she has some sort of undiagnosed OCD. Roll my eyes and smile but seething inside when it happens!!

If I'm staying anywhere i take my own towel, i don't doubt others cleanliness but don't like using others towels, even guest towels.
i know they've been washed since the last guests but I don't know who they were.
I even take own towel on holiday, even if provided.

I do supply guest towels for anyone staying who wants to use them, but I wouldn't be offended if they had their own