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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To Be Slightly Jealous - DP & ExW

65 replies

SlowlyMeltingInATent · 25/06/2018 18:36

DP has been divorced for 4 years.
They have 2 DSs 20 & 18.

ExW has recently got a new DP.

Firstly DP made enquiries with a friend of his who works in the same field as the new DP to find out what he was like , career prospects etc.

He then checked every social media site trying to find out about him.

Last week he bumped into him for the first time & gave him a ‘talk’ about looking after his family.

I know he’s being protective so not sure why I feel a bit green eyed

OP posts:
SlowlyMeltingInATent · 26/06/2018 00:14

I know the update is not great.

I feel like such an idiot

OP posts:
TwentySmackeroos · 26/06/2018 00:22

Did the exW give you a 'stern talking to' when you came on the scene?

No, I thought not.

He is in a relationship with you but can't stop himself setting rules for his ex.

He is being a Tom cat. Very territorial. Disrespectful to his exW, when he is in a relationship but is supervising her doing the same. Disrespectful to you as it signals he remains overly invested in how she lives her independent life.

HeddaGarbled · 26/06/2018 00:34

He sounds alarming. Totally fine for him to have a new partner. But his ex has a new partner and he comes over all willy-waving. It’s not protective, it’s misogynistic.

SlowlyMeltingInATent · 26/06/2018 00:39

I mistakenly just bought it up & he’s stormed off into the spare room because ‘ I didn’t support him during one of the most difficult afternoons of his life’
I always have to pick away at him

OP posts:
abilockhart · 26/06/2018 00:49

Please get out while you can.

LemonysSnicket · 26/06/2018 00:55

I think it's nice. Even if his kids are adults I'd assume they will be at home for a few years - he wants to know who will be living with his kids.

AmazingPostVoices · 26/06/2018 01:02

You think it’s nice Lemony?

He made professional enquiries about his ex-wife’s new partner, stalked him all over social media, sat outside the ex-wife’s Home and finally gave the new DP a “talking to”.

That’s not nice. Inviting them all out for a meal together with the OP would be nice.

Stalking him isn’t.

Whatiwishfor · 26/06/2018 01:35

I think its quite normal to check that person out on fb and possibly google their name but totally and utterly no more. Esp not deliberately bump into them and make a comment like that, esp as the children are older. No no no way. Theres more to this than he is letting on, hes the one who jealous !

C0untDucku1a · 26/06/2018 06:56

Why was it a difficult afternoon?

HeddaGarbled · 26/06/2018 07:00

What a drama queen - he thinks he’s in an episode of Eastenders, doesn’t he? I think he sees himself as Danny Dyer.

PigEyedHorseFrightener · 26/06/2018 07:03

He still loves his ex. Or he’s scarily controlling. Or both.

Shumpalumpa · 26/06/2018 07:08

One of the most difficult afternoons of his life?

Leave him before you get further entangled.

AnyFucker · 26/06/2018 07:10

Is your partner Max Branning ?

MadMags · 26/06/2018 07:16

One of the most difficult afternoons of his life??

Tell me; did he ask about your life event at all?

Get. Rid.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 26/06/2018 07:17

You're only 18 months in, just ditch the controlling creep.

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