AIBU to stop paying rent?

[FamilyDrama]

Will try and keep this short and to the point but there is needless to say some backstory.

I live with my elderly father who has Alzheimers. I have 5 other brothers and a sister. They are all married. I am not but have a long term partner.

My father relies on me quite heavily and gets upset if I make plans to see my girlfriend or stay over at her house. I do all the groceries and spend time with him, take him for lunch and trips out during the day. I work . He is at the minute quite safe to leave overnight, but this upsets him a lot so I only stay at my GF's one night a week when i tell him I am working a late shift to avoid arguments.

There has been a falling out in the family over money, one of my brothers and my sister are the attorneys for my father and they have control of his money. They won't let him have a bank card anymore.

There have been some issues raised about my late uncles estate which was also managed by the same siblings. large sums of money had been taken and used for their personal gain and this has made things difficult in the family as they refuse to discuss dads finances with anyone.

The house dad and I live in is in the joint names of me and my siblings, and until the issue of money being missing came up I paid £500 a month into dad's account for my board. I stopped doing this last year and have no got a solicitors letter from my brother and sister saying I owe them £7000 for back rent.

AIBU to say i won't pay this because i am part owner of the house, i have no idea what they are doing with they money, if i didn't stay at the house a full time carer would have to be employed?

Should i get a lawyer?

What about a Court of Protection order. I don't really know much about them but I know that they carry more clout than a POA.

If the POA gets set aside by the court it will end up having t be a court appointed person who acts for his financial interests at that point. Possibly a solicitor since there are no suitable family members.

That costs money. But it sounds as if it is probably costing your dad money if his finances are being so badly managed.

Would you be considered (or want to be) a 'suitable family member? Since you are doing all of the care yourself now anyway, it might make sense as then you are able to make other decisions around care, e.g. when you need more help or respite care. Don't forget to take breaks and care for yourself too, or you'll burn out.

I have been through all this, including legal battles. It was horrific, if I'm honest. Not just the added stress and worries of going through the courts but the progress of the dementia itself, and the interaction between the two (e.g. wanting to be honest with the family member in question but finding that it upset them -- getting the right balance between informing and protecting). I wish you strength.

Are you getting carer's allowance? If not you should apply for it. Your dad should probably also be eligible for DLA, which can go towards additional care needs.