To raise this as workplace bullying

[Ninmpy]

I'm just the kind of person that people see as an easy target.

Someone at work keeps using me (and me only) to blame in a "jokey" way that isn't funny to me.

Like spilling coffee everywhere and saying "oh Jean look at what you've done hehe"

"Jean it's all your fault that that happened hahaha", nothing to do with me

Or like today someone complemented on her top as she was "it's jean's I'm borrowing it" being very sarcastic then sniggers in a snide way

Would you see this as unacceptable? Thanks

Yes that would bother me, she sounds really spiteful and I do agree it's bullying since you're always the target. I have no idea what I'd do in that situation though. Hopefully someone with more experience will be able to offer good advice.

It's bloody childish. Whether or not it's bullying and harassment, with that you need to check your company's policy on it. Some set perameters and some say that it's what the receiver of the behaviours perceive it to be. I'd keep a diary of events too.

I think you need to get over it. It is weird and silly but not bullying. How do you think it will reflect on you if you go to HR or your manager about this? You both nerd to grow up.

I think it sounds mean.
Why does she get to enjoy her day, and you don’t?
So obviously, it is a form of bullying.
Try telling her to stop. If she doesn’t, l would take it to HR.
No matter how petty it might seem, you don’t like it. Therefore it should be nipped in the bud!

Please do get it on record.

Sounds like the twat we just fired. She was horrid to one guy, and made others feel uncomfortable, but we could only deal with what was reported. HR told me that she couldn't do anything about the bullying unless it came from the person she was targeting.

I'm not saying firing will or should be the outcome here (employee in my case committed gross misconduct another way) - but management will be aware of how it's making you feel and should handle it.

She's obviously an arse. Have you pulled her up on her behaviour? If so, the next step is HR dept or if there isn't one, take it up with your manager. Don't put up with it, you're not making a fuss over nothing and keep complaining until it's sorted. Good luck.

Just tell her to stop and that's it's not funny.
If she doesn't, tell your line manager that you have had enough of the "jokes".

How do you think it will reflect on you if you go to HR or your manager about this? a lot better than going into a full blow argument and shouting shut the fuck up you bitch it's not funny, stop harassing me.

Have you told her to stop it?

To colleague- 'please stop doing x , y and z, i dont like it and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have told you now and if it continues i will be talking to hr/ manager about it'

Racecardriver

On paper, the comments our office bully made would sound innocuous to you, no doubt. In real life though, there were several distinct characteristics to it:

• she would ask the same questions of other people, without the same tone (e.g. about their hobbies)
• she would have a fairly normal conversation with her friends about it, but pointedly needle this guy about his (stereotypical 'geek') hobby
• she would loudly proclaim that she was 'only trying to be friendly' when he left awkwardly, so that he and everyone else could here
• made multiple other people uncomfortable with her targeting of this guy
• the clincher - she NEVER did it when management were around

Definitely tell her you don’t think it’s funny anymore and make an official report if she continues. As pps have said - keep a record. That’s really important.
She sounds a right cow!

Thats bullying. Tell her to shove off. Confront her in front of everyone and tell her you will be going to HR (unless she is HR..?).

At primary school we teach the children that bullying is anything that hurts them or makes them feel sad, if it's done repeatedly and on purpose.
By that definition, yes it's bullying and needs to be dealt with.
She probably thinks she's just kidding and being funny, but she needs to be told it's not ok, either by you or if you don't feel you can confront her yourself then you must get somebody more senior to tell her.

Do it back to them and they'll realise they sound like a dickhead

The next time he/she says one of these types of comments you need to stand up for yourself now that you know it's a pattern.

"Really Fred, these childish side comments are really getting silly now - do you think you can stop?!".

Make a note of the date and what was said. Repeat for a week or two until you've gathered a good record of it and then the very next time say "Look, I know you think you're being funny and amusing Fred but it's really getting tedious now and in the last two weeks I've asked you stop 12 times. If this carries on I will raise it as a bullying/harassment matter because frankly it's affecting my enjoyment of coming to work!".

If they do it again even once, formal complaint.

Don't be an easy target - you can change that. You don't have to be horrible, just assertive. Good luck!

I really do think you need to be assertive and raise this with her before going to management or HR.

Try and catch her alone and firmly tell her that you don’t find her comments funny and it makes you uncomfortable and she needs to stop.

If you do that and she carries on then you have a strong case to take to HR or your line manager. HR are there primarily to legally cover the companies arse rather than to act as referee. If employees start approaching them with minor issues which they haven’t attempted to solve on their own it usually reflects very badly on the employee and makes them look a bit incapable.

Tell her to stop. Advise her that if she doesn't you will put in an official compliant. This is bang out of order.

Meant to add, tell her IN FRONT of other people so you have witnesses.

Unacceptable, yes. Annoying/Rude, yes. Workplace bullying? I'd be a bit if someone described that as workplace bullying to me. Either ignore it or call her out on it.

You do need to tell her it's unwelcome. Some people grow up in families which are uncomfortable with expressing emotion, and where affection is signaled by teasing - she may feel she's showing her liking for you by "affectionate banter", and in that case it would be unfair to raise a grievance against her and blight her job prospects for something that isn't meant maliciously, if she can understand that the norm in her family isn't welcomed by you and can change her behaviour.

But if you tell her it isn't welcome and she persist, then she is doing it deliberately to upset you and it's harassment and bullying.

Thanks, I've replied to her to just say leave me out of it but I think it's made her woorse and today she replied with a backhanded complement when I asked not to keep saying my name in front of people.

Worth confronting again or just keeping a note and escalating?

Will keep a no

Pretend you can't hear her? Is she getting a rise out of you?

I'd tape her on my phone so she can' deny all the digs.

I see you’ve said something-well done it’s not always easy to say it but now you perhaps need to turn it on her and say ‘oh you’re not STILL going on are you? I’d asked you to stop’
If she doesn’t after that then do something

Just keep asking her to repeat what she says. Then say 'can you explain?'. 'What did you mean by that?'

She'll soon get bored.

Yes definitely keep throwing it back at her. Do you have an ally who can help with this or can ask 'why are you so obsessed with jean' each time?

I would help you out if I worked with you. In fact I'd have confronted them already, it's definitely bullying and way out of order.