To be disappointed with my life?

[KateM91x]

Minimum wage job, no progression, no pay rise
Basic boring car
Single for 6 years, proving to be difficult trying to find a decent and honest man

The only thing that’s good in life is family and friends, and oh my flat (which costs me a pretty penny).

Would love a new car (yes I’m being a little materialistic), well not even a new car but a better one but will never be able to afford it on my wages. I’ve been in the same job since I was 18 and really don’t know how to do anything else. I guess I’d have to retrain.

I won’t lie, I envy some of my friends who have great jobs and drive nice cars. I realise these are very trivial things and there are people much worse of than myself but AIBU to just be disappointed in my life and how it turned out?

I wish I’d done better in school, thought more about my future and how my decisions would effect that. At 16 I just didn’t care.

Anyone else in the same boat? Please tell me to stop being a miserable cow!

How old are you now? It might be a bit early to write off your life as a disappointment.

While your still living there’s opportunity for change! Night school?

If you are ambitious, keep looking for opportunities and take them. Sometimes it can seem like ages hit things will change if you want them to

Don't like your life? Then change it!

I know I know it's not that simple but I can be.

Think about what you need to do to achieve what you want. Retrain? Redo qualifications?

Go for it

Well, stop being miserable

You can change your life, go volunteering for a year somewhere far away, have an adventure. Do a degree, change jobs, get a new exciting hobby, get an amazing dog, do a house swap this summer with someone in the US...

So many things you can do.

Life is there for the taking

Be brave

I didn't care at 16. How I passed any exams is beyond me and I moved out of home a couple of months after school finished. This doesn't define me. I have a lovely house, car and my own business. I have ambition, and I think that's what you need to find. Training isn't necessarily required, just move into a job where you can work your way up. If you're already on minimum wage, a career change shouldn't affect your pay rate.

Thanks mumsnet, I needed a good kick up the arse! I think I’m just stuck in a rut and comfortable. I want to change my life but can’t be arsed putting in the work which I know isn’t the attitude to have.

Night school is a good shout as I’ll need to keep my job until I can find another. Problem is I have no idea what I want to do, as I’ve been in the same industry for years it’s hard to know what I’d be good at or what I’d be interested in. I guess I need to have a good think about all of this and make a plan.

It’s a bit corny but it’s true that you only get one life and the only one with the power to make it better is you. Change is hard but nothing ever gets better by just letting life wash over you.
Do think about what it is you enjoy and what you think you’d be good at given the chance to train.
Remember too that good friends and family are worth more than any possessions.

Change isn’t always possible.

Thanks for that positive contribution pink.

What do you LIKE doing OP? And what are you good at?

Maybe we could suggest some careers.

I think it's really difficult OP to know what you'd be interested in or good at.... I think most of us don't have a bloody clue at 16 and it doesn't really get any easier after years of working. Much easier to just work out what you could do that would be better, rank the options and then go for the one that is most attractive / likely to be successful. You say you have some friends with jobs that you envy.. what do they do? Could you do the same? Or think about where most new jobs are being created nowadays.. in your shoes I'd be going back to college to learn about something digital ie coding, web design, data analytics etc. There's huge demand for people with these skills that will continue for years.

Purple, I’m trying to be realistic. People saying you can change and be this and be that may not be right. Sorry.

Change is always possible. No ones saying the OP is going to suddenly become a brain surgeon or a banker on 6 figures overnight but there are always things you can do to improve your situation no matter how small.

I currently work in a nursery with children. I was also a nanny for a few years which I absolutely loved but due to there not being a high demand for nannies in my area I gave that up. I absolutely hate the job I’m in now, rubbish pay, rubbish hours, bitchy staff. I think it’s the type of job you do if you love the kids but once that’s gone there isn’t any pro’s to it.

All my friends work in quite stressful jobs e.g nurses, call handlers for the police, managers. I don’t have much confidence either which I think has put me off making any changes. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed and I do wonder sometimes if I’d ever be “clever” enough to do another job. (I know that sounds really stupid).

I’ve had enough of working with kids but don’t know what else there is for me at the moment.

Sorry @pinkbobbles but change is always, always possible

OP.. you're definitely smart enough in, it comes across from just these few posts you've written, honestly. And you're refreshingly not defensive in how you've taken feedback so far eg "thanks for giving me a kick up the bum". Not many posters are as emotionally mature as this.

Get some prospectuses, do some online research, speak to friends. Just start gathering in ideas about other jobs you could do and what qualifications and experience would be needed. Set yourself a deadline (end July?) to make a decision about your next step.

Don’t worry about not being “sharp”, you have to be skilled, and that can mean anything from having patience, to being a good driver or baker or knitter, to having green fingers, to bring able to decorate a room beautifully... anything!

I agree with @**pinkbobbles
Go volunteering for a year, go get a degree....with what exactly? Things cost a large amount of money.
If you want to change jobs or earn more money that is doable or if you can afford to study on the side too then great.
Life isn't so simple to make big changes like others have suggested. All doable if you are young free and single on a massive wage with no children.
If you want to meet someone get your arse out more (Not literally...or maybe literally) and have some fun.

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed and I do wonder sometimes if I’d ever be “clever” enough to do another job. (I know that sounds really stupid No! I feel the exact same way!!! I always think who cares if you're smart as long as you're nice (maybe I'm deluded!) I pushed myself through university, had decent pay jobs and then when I got married and had kids had to give up job and by the time I can work again everything I did will pity much be automated!! I always wanted to work with animals but retraining for something that there aren't amazing job prospects at, not to mention we couldn't afford it. Op sit down and make lists. It'll come to you. The only thing is try not to quit until you've something lined up. And good luck,it's so exciting!!!

do an evening course or a GCSE or something. Train in something you're interested in. if you're on tax credits etc often you get a reduced rate for a course.

I struggled for years to gain qualifications leading to a better job. Honestly, I shouldn’t have bothered. Sorry I can’t be more optimistic. Sorry, OP.

19+ loans...

Like student loans, don't pay them back if you don't earn enough.

Just try loads of things, that's the only way to find out...

Can you be a nanny abroad for a year or so? A friend of mine earned an absolute fortune working for a European family and got to travel with them etc. If you’re young, free and single, then it can be a great experience. Or you could look after kids in a holiday resort.

But if you want to get away from childcare then it’s worth thinking about other skills you might have. Why not go to a college open day and see what you fancy? It’s the time of year when they’ll be taking applications.

Obvs haven't ready the full thread....as v v boring!
Worked from 15 onwards, University and worked for insurance company throughout.
Degree, then worked in marketing..... Second child born with severe disabilities.
No more work available..... Stop thinking poor you and get your arse in gear!!!!

Thank you for all the honest and useful feedback, it really has given me a lot to think about. I’ve just looked at courses in my local college but nothing seems to have caught my eye, just yet.

I would like to own my own business one day (not sure what though) so I guess that’s something to think about and maybe plan for the future.

I will definitely be thinking about all of this and hopefully will come to a decision on what I’d like to do and how to proceed.

Thanks again, I honestly thought I’d get abuse on this thread but you’ve all been lovely and really helpful.