Or is DF aunt a CF?

[Glitterbug29]

Long time lurker here!

DF and I are getting married in the Autumn and we posted the invitations out this week. Today DF gets a call from his 65 year old widowed Aunt who lives 2.5 hours away and can drive. Tells us she should be able to make it as long as her niece and nephew in law from the other side of the family can attend, as they live approx 40 mins away and will be providing her with a bed and a lift.

We’ve never met the niece and nephew in law so told her that unfortunately we wouldn’t be able to accommodate them for the ceremony due to strict numbers, but they’re welcome to attend in the evening. She then got upset and offered to pay for them to attend the ceremony. We pointed out that there was no cost issue (no sit down meal going on, just the ceremony and straight onto the evening!)

She didn’t seem to understand this and started crying saying we’d upset her very much and made it hard for her to attend as she wouldn’t know anyone and wouldn’t want to be alone. Her brother is my DF’s dad and she’d only be without darling niece and nephew in law for an hour or two until the evening!

AWBU to not back down on this??

Again, I do see your point, but this venue is presumably one that you chose; you could have chosen a different one with larger capacity but decided to please yourselves at the expense of being a generous and accommodating host.

OP's on a budget. She's saying those guests at the reception/evening do are being well looked after, it's just the ceremony that's restricted on numbers.

OP could well be using the budget option of the registry office. If so, she's got a larger capacity than my local office, which holds only 45 people, and I know they are seriously unforgiving about the numbers, they won't let extras in.

@ManorGreyhound you’re not playing devils advocate, you’re being bloody ridiculous.

A wedding isn’t about finding a venue within budget that will accommodate every single person who might like to attend a wedding plus a couple of extras for those over a certain age who might want chaperones

Plus, OP has said they’re welcome to come to evening bit, so she is being more than accommodating.

I will try to coordinate things so that she’s with her close family (if she decides to attend!)

Tell her this and see what she says. That should more than suffice.

Again, I do see your point, but this venue is presumably one that you chose; you could have chosen a different one with larger capacity but decided to please yourselves at the expense of being a generous and accommodating host.

😂

OP, it’s pretty scandalous that you’d choose to please yourself at your own wedding, when you could spend money you don’t have, on a venue you don’t want, and be a generous and accommodating host.