To NOT want my MIL to pick DD up from nursery...

[Lolly68]

... and wander the streets with her until I get off the train after work???

My MIL use to look after DD full time and it got too much for her so we had to put DD in nursery - MIL gave us a week's notice to find a suitable nursery. After a few months DD is finally settled in nursery (she 16 months) and now MIL thinks that the day is too long for DD and wants to go and pick her up at 4.30pm twice a week and wait for me to get off train. The nursery is about a 15 min drive from our house so MIL can't take her back to the house as she doesn't drive so she has to walk round local parks and shops etc. Do you think I'm being unreasonable in not wanting this? I have tried talking to MIL saying that it has taken a few months for DD to settle and now is sleeping through the night again etc etc and think that the change of routine would unsettle her again. At the moment I have to work full time but MIL is making me feel guilty and I feel like she is questioning my parenting skills with regard to the care that I have chosen.

Tell your mother in law that as she has let you down twice in the recent past you are unhappy at the idea of once again changing the routine in case it all goes belly up again. She is the grandmother not the mother. If she can't grasp that theory just ignore her until she shuts up.

Agnes

What if MIL can't make it to pick up your dd because she becomes ill? You need to have secure arrangements for the benefit of your dd.

it must be hard for her though, to have looked after her full time and then not see her as much.

my mil is nearly 80 and she looks after my sons alot.

Just tell her [and Dh]that dd's interests come first & foremost.

Tell them both that dd is settled & happy now & you can't risk her becoming unsettled agaon by messing her up.

Ask MIL what happens if she changes her mind again? Ask what happens if dd doesn't want to walk the streeets like a raggamuffin, what happens when it is bucketing down?

It's not a concrete plan, tell her no.