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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not buy teen a double bed?

166 replies

ChristmasTablecloth · 23/06/2018 19:12

My 14 year old needs a new bed.

My 17 year old has a small double bed, I think you call it a queen size or 3/4 bed. It is one of those wooden framed ones which I've actually had for 30 years (obviously several new mattresses in the meantime!).

If I buy my 14 year old the same size bed I will have to get rid of all my single bed bedding.

When the 17 year old leaves home, the 14 year old can have the bigger bed that's fine, and we'll put the single bed in the 17 year old's room.

That's reasonable isn't it?

OP posts:
Original poster
ChristmasTablecloth · 24/06/2018 06:37

It is amazing how many people don't even read the op!

OP posts:
Johnb0y · 24/06/2018 06:45

I'm not sure you did!

Believeitornot · 24/06/2018 06:51

MN world again being being different from my world

^have you ignored the variety of responses? You’re not the only one who takes your approach.

Sorry - it annoys me when people claim there’s a “MN standard” and that they never “met” that standard Hmm

Fflamingo · 24/06/2018 07:14

Bluddy hell - snowflake generation or what, 14 year olds need double beds !???

Oysterbabe · 24/06/2018 07:15

Definitely get a double so that it'll be useful as a guest best once the kids have moved out.

Singlenotsingle · 24/06/2018 07:15

You could find that the 17 year old is still with you for another ten years!

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 24/06/2018 07:21

Get the double.

speakout · 24/06/2018 07:23

snowflake generation or what, 14 year olds need double beds

No one "needs" a double bed.
In fact no one "needs" a bed at all, we could sleep on a mat on the floor.

But if you have space then why not?

ANutAsBigAsABoulder · 24/06/2018 08:17

I can’t see your 17 year old being very happy with a single bed when they come home from university. If they’re only studying for 10 week terms they’ll be home for five months of the year, likely with a visiting boyfriend/girlfriend and asking new friends to stay. They’re also more than likely be back after graduating for who knows how long! If you have space, a double would make more sense in the long run.

Ohmydayslove · 24/06/2018 08:22

Get a double.

The 17 year old may go to uni but will come back for holidays etc and won’t want a single bed. What about wen they want partners stopping over etc.

They are getting older so I would think you are wasting your money buying a single bed at their age now.

Our all had doubles from about 13..

Mummyoflittledragon · 24/06/2018 08:23

It’s got nothing to do with the snowflake generation. It’s about respect for your kids and appreciating they can easier have friends to sleep over. And understanding young adults are staying at home longer due to house prices. Ergo an investment for their comfort.

My 9yo dd chose a daybed when we changed it last year. But it is relatively sturdy and pulls out to allow for a bigger mattress at some time in the future. I actually tried to persuade her to get a double tbh.

It is amazing how many people don’t even read the op!

Sorry to have been off my tits on morphine yesterday having just had surgery. I assume you didn’t have the same excuse for not actually reading and absorbing all of the posters advice and opinions. Hmm

mygrandchildrenrock · 24/06/2018 09:06

My youngest DS, 20, has a single bed here and at University. He is 6ft 2 and sleeps in them fine.
I'm another one who doesn't know any children/young adults living at home that have double beds.

MyOtherProfile · 24/06/2018 09:11

they can easier have friends to sleep over.
You don't need a double bed for when their friends sleepover. We have thick rollup mattresses for that. My kids don't want to have friends sleeping over in their actual beds.

Ginorchoc · 24/06/2018 09:13

I’ve just bought my 13 year old a small double from John Lewis, it’s really nice and only cost £56! It’s back to £70 now but can recommend it. She is the same height as me now and outgrew the single.

Ginorchoc · 24/06/2018 09:16

Oh and my daughter is not obese, she is a size 6.

NeeChee · 24/06/2018 09:17

DSS10 has my old double bed. We had it in the spare room at our old house, and he decided he preferred it to his bunk bed in his actual room.
I find it is a bit of a pain trying to find double duvet covers for kids, they're all singles! I did look for neutral plain ones too but could only find weird colours.

busybarbara · 24/06/2018 09:21

Why does any single person need a double?

Aragog · 24/06/2018 09:31

We got dd a double bed for her room a few years back when updating it - as a young teen. And she is in no way obese as a size 6-8 at age 16. That wasn't a factor at all.

We discovered that a double bed is often bit much difference in price to a single anyway, and you can get double bedding sets pretty cheap.

The spare room has a small double (as that is what fits) but they are often dearer to buy. We got that as the proper double doesn't quite fit properly.

I wouldn't put a single in the spare room unless nothing else would fit as it limits who can stay over. As seen above many adults don't like sleeping in a single so you may put people off visiting.

We have a king as it fits in our room and it's more comfortable to have the extra space.

I assume that although the other bed is 30 years old they've had newer mattresses.

LoveInTokyo · 24/06/2018 09:32

Because a single bed is for a child and makes the person sleeping in it feel like a child. Which is why the 14 year old will resent having to have one when the 17 year old has a double, and even if they swap beds when the 17 year old goes to uni, it will cause arguments every time they are home.

Given that the OP has had the double for 30 years and her objection to buying another double seems to be that she would no longer be able to use the old sheets, it seems like she doesn’t replace things very often. (I can’t help but wonder whether the old single bedding that the OP doesn’t want to get rid of has Peter Rabbit or Thomas the Tank Engine printed on it!)

So it seems likely that this new bed will be used for a long time, including years into the future when perhaps both the OP’s kids will want to come back and visit with a partner. Or perhaps one or both of them might live at home for a while as an adult because they’ll be up to their neck in student debt and expected to do unpaid or low-paid jobs until they get a proper foothold on the career ladder. Or maybe it’ll be the only chance they have of saving for their own house.

Think in the long term, OP. Building a new child’s bed for a 14 year old when the room will fit a double is short sighted.

rosesandflowers1 · 24/06/2018 09:34

snowflake generation or what, 14 year olds need double beds !???

Nobody has suggested that it's a matter of life and death. But people have pointed out that firstly, it's pretty tight to not get a double bed just for new sheets. Secondly, you're probably going to cause resentment between the DC if one child is expected to make do with something worse until the older one no longer needs it. Thirdly, the older child probably won't be happy coming back to uni to a single bed. And - here's the big one - its not a crime to do something for the comfort of your children! He'll sleep better in a double bed.

Seriously OP, I'd get it.

bbqseason · 24/06/2018 09:38

Do you not want your children to come back and visit when they are older with their partners? The 17yo will also surely be home for holidays etc during uni?

fleshmarketclose · 24/06/2018 09:39

My teen has a double because once the single needed replacing it seemed obvious to get a double. She might only be four feet ten but she loves having room to spread out. We all have doubles but there is a single in the spare bedroom.

schnubbins · 24/06/2018 09:52

Put two single duvets on the bed .All you have to buy is the fitted sheet.I have done that for my two as soon as they were 14 as they just didn't fit in a single bed anymore.On mainland Europe there are always two duvets on a bed anyway very few have double duvets.

Sleepsoon7 · 24/06/2018 10:14

Another vote for getting the double and I would also suggest paying a bit more for storage - either 4 drawers or ottoman style - you seriously won’t regret it. Single duvet can be used until you can justify expense of a new double - birthday perhaps? (and stored in new bed if nowhere else for it!) Single duvet then useful as someone else has said for when friends stay. Elder DC probably won’t move out in a year (if mine is anything to go by) and if they do then you have another double if you want people to stay. My DD2 was 14 when she got a double and Asda did some great duvet sets at reasonable prices. When friends come over they tend to chill on the bed chatting and using iPads etc - much better than when she had a cabin bed.

Fed · 24/06/2018 10:27

OP.- "AIBU"
The entire MN - "Yes, buy a double"
OP "nah"

starfishing in a double on your own is soooo comfortable
There is no such thing as a bed that is too large. I would prioritise bed size over floor space if the room is not very big.

OP Adult DC tend to bounce back and forth before they leave home for good. They may bring partners home. if you are already committing to buying a new bed why not make it another double.