To beg please please don't do this at a school event

[poopsqueak]

Just come back from a lovely school picnic in honour of Jo Cox.

It seems that at event after event (plays, concerts, picnics) this same thing keeps on happening.

It's about viewing etiquette. (All four things happened yesterday while I was trying to see my DD sing with he ks1 choir)

That you;

A) Don't push to the front with your toddler on hip and walk back and forth in front of the choir so the 'baby can see' (yes your baby can see, but no one else can- how about standing at the side at the front or stand stil?)
B) push to the front and stand up with your iPad blocking all the people sitting behind you
C) laugh and chat loudly with your friends because your child in ks2 choir finished singing 10 mins ago (this one in particularly pissed me off because some of the children were reception age and were clearly nervous
D) if you are a 6'5 man standing where people couldn't get a seat, don't stand right at the front where everybody else can't see.

It seems to happen every event. At dds nativity a mum sat on the front row with her parka hood up then tutted at my mum who was sat behind when she asked her to put it down so people could see past

The same applies for women and children who have fled DV by the way and may be in hiding....those children typically cannot be photographed either.

Sugar, assume you mean their birth family might find them. Yes that is why. Children are generally adopted within the county or metropolitan area that they were born in. The particular town or city area will be avoided but wider family or friends of friends cover a wide area that are easily reached by social media.

My co-worker has recently adopted a baby and lives in the same town as the birth mother. During the placement process her and her DH has to think very carefully if they could cope with the risk of the birth mother finding them and the extra security precautions they would need to take.

My dd’s school sorted out the iPad/phone thing by creating a standing media barrier. If you want to take photos of videos you have to stand there instead. Genius!

Which is off to the sides. In case that wasn’t clear...

My school had a genius idea about getting TAs to gently remind parents to be considerate, usher noisy siblings out etc and to steward the carpark for school events. I have never been sworn at and threatened so much in one day before (and my previous jobs have been bar work and door work so its not like I'm not used to a bit of swearing)

DD's school allows filming but there is a disclaimer that you are only allowed to put individual photographs or videos online.

Mind you, they have a YouTube channel and all the performances go on there anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️

I've just remembered one particular parent who has since left school who would stand for her kids entire play videoing. While everyone was seated around her. Ha! The lack of awareness was astounding as everyone was pulling faces all around her.

Our school 'bans' (but really doesn't) phones but then puts videos of children on their Facebook page.

People just have crappy manners full stop in my opinion! We went to a concert last night, paid for seats as we wanted to sit and watch as did everyone else around us except for one very very annoying woman who decided to stand up, block everyone she view and do a very weird mum/bobbing dance! Oblivious to all of us around her who’s view she was blocking and frankly I did not enjoy looking at her backside wiggling in my face.

At my son's school adults are not allowed to take pics or videos through a performance. You get a chance at the end to take a pic of your own child or the teachers do it for you. I hate the people that talk because their children have finished. I saw this happen at an awards event for my son's football recently, the coaches were giving a little so each for each of their teams before they handed out the awards, by the end you couldn't hear the guys from all the chatting. It was a shame I felt terrible for them, a lot of them were clearly nervous ad there was probably around 250 people there. So ignorant!

and don't sit right next to the teacher with the video camera who is trying to do an 'official' video for the school, if you have a baby or small child who is going to talk, wriggle and cry or east crisps (!) all the way through the performance. Some one did this at one of my drama productions - and the students (who had rehearsed it for months) wanted to watch the dvd but the loudest thing on the video (as she sat right next to it) was a little girl doing all of these things even though we had signs up asking people with young children to sit in the seats at the opposite side of the auditorium to watch the performance.

Please don't turn up with a 5 foot long professional camera that obscures everyone's view hits them in the face everytime you turn.

I'm tolerant of most things - but the fucking arsehole who rocked up for my daughter's foundation stage sports day last week and proceeded to howl with laughter at her coming last and doing much more wobbly than all the other kids nearly pushed me over the edge into becoming a scrapping at the school gates fishwife. She's dyspraxic, was trying her best, having a whale of a time with a huge grin on her face and this bastard sat and pointed and laughed (don't even know who the parent was as they've got a kid in nursery in a different building to the main school year groups)

Also don't let your toddler stand up on her chair to get a better view. She's blocking the view of the parents and grandparents behind her - people who have actually gone to trouble to be there because they really want to see their child/grandchild perform.

Bing. I don’t know how you managed to restrain yourself. I’m so angry just sitting here reading this. What fucking fool doesn’t recognise that a child may have SN of some sort. How extremely cruel.

Bing awful behaviour I can't believe the other parents left that unchallenged either. It's a given at DD's school that anyone struggling gets cheered on and a massive round of applause when they make it. Anyone laughing at a child wouldn't be popular.

Oh bing that's awful.

Or why not get the school to film it and have the bloody cheek to charge £6f for the cd when it prob only cost 50p to produce!!! Thieving bastards!

I restrained myself as the school head is my reference at the moment! I'm meeting with the senco next week and it's one of her class parents so I WILL be bringing it up then!

I wouldn't begrudge the school a reasonable charge for DVDs of the performance. Given the amount of work the staff put in to making these events happen, it seems a reasonable way for them to make a little money for school funds.

Bloody hell Bing even if your child didn't have SN that would be outrageous - who laughs at any child at sports day? I'm impressed you manage to restrain yourself. I'm usually quite calm but I think I'd have said something even if it wasn't my child.

Oh Bing that's awful behaviour from that woman and what kind of example is she setting to the children, appalling.

Our previous Head was very good at telling anyone with babies and toddlers that, while it was lovely to see them, if they became restless or noisy she would expect them to be taken to the back of the hall or outside so that we could hear the children performing.

New Head is not so forceful and at the christmas performance there was one little boy who kept running to the front while and left teachers to move him out of the way. In the end the Head moved him and I think he must have asked her to keep hold of him.

We are allowed to take pics/video but they can't be put on online if they show any children other than your own. A few years ago there was a group of about 4/5 families who would turn up very early to be at the front, even if their children weren't the main performers so no-one else could get near. Thankfully they are not there now and most people seem to be more considerate.

I once had a woman sat in front of my at the infant school nativity holding one of those big screened phones up to record it. After 10 minutes of having my view blocked entirely I leaned right forward (so the microphone bit would pick me up clearly) and started asking my dad (who was sat next to me and instantly realised what I was doing) about his recent trouble with bleeding hemorrhoids and whether his arse felt better. Hope she enjoyed our conversation when she played back "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" later on!

I can probably trump you all with the tale of the parent who insisted a kids play was stopped so she could adjust the tuning on the instrument her daughter was playing. Obviously undetectable to anything other than a trained ear. The sound of all those jaws hitting the floor will stay with me forever!

I'm appalled that a school would allow pupils to be excluded from events just to avoid annoying other parents! Adopted / at risk kids have the same rights to a fully rounded education as the rest of the children in school - parents don't have a right to video it, that is a courtesy extended by some schools when circumstances allow!
My children are not adopted and I don't generally mind them being on Facebook etc . But they and I realise that people can have different circumstances.