To beg please please don't do this at a school event

[poopsqueak]

Just come back from a lovely school picnic in honour of Jo Cox.

It seems that at event after event (plays, concerts, picnics) this same thing keeps on happening.

It's about viewing etiquette. (All four things happened yesterday while I was trying to see my DD sing with he ks1 choir)

That you;

A) Don't push to the front with your toddler on hip and walk back and forth in front of the choir so the 'baby can see' (yes your baby can see, but no one else can- how about standing at the side at the front or stand stil?)
B) push to the front and stand up with your iPad blocking all the people sitting behind you
C) laugh and chat loudly with your friends because your child in ks2 choir finished singing 10 mins ago (this one in particularly pissed me off because some of the children were reception age and were clearly nervous
D) if you are a 6'5 man standing where people couldn't get a seat, don't stand right at the front where everybody else can't see.

It seems to happen every event. At dds nativity a mum sat on the front row with her parka hood up then tutted at my mum who was sat behind when she asked her to put it down so people could see past

Also, I get why you might need to be there with your baby/toddler and said baby/toddler might be a little noisy. We've all been there.

But if your baby/toddler is making so much noise that NOBODY** (including you!!) can hear a thing then could I ask you politely to leave before you ruin it for EVERYBODY else??

My very tall DH always sits near the back - simple.

How many of those recorded performances are every viewed? MY bet is less than 5%.

I'm always amazed at how rude a lot of grown ups are at primary school productions. Holding their phones up and blocking the views of everyone behind them is appalling.

I was just as appalled at the mother who made her way to the front of the seats, standing, took her pictures of her DD who was performing, then spent the rest of the performance playing on her phone on the aisle in the second row, highly visible, as her daughter's small role was 'done' ... blatantly in front of everyone. So rude!

Don't much like your size-ist criterion OP. Let's say the big man gets there first - he's got to bugger off because he's big and tall has he? Chop his legs off?

Sadly nothing surprises me anymore, selfish behaviour absolutely everywhere and a complete lack of manners too.

Yes he does have to move further back because he can still see! Smaller people can't. Thats why I.sort of think keeping toddlers at the front is ok, as long as not pacing up and down, so they have the same chance of seeing well as everyone else.

Tall men are the first to request special treatment when there are seats with extra leg room etc. The flip side is you have to stay at the back in a crowd.

We were at a lovely event last Saturday night: primary school + community choir concert. Luckily the venue was excellent - seating that was raked quite steeply so that everyone could see. People were instructed not to take photos or record the event (it was being recorded so that they could obtain copies if they wanted).
However, there were a couple of women, one of whom had a particularly loud voice, sitting behind me, whose endless chat continued into the start of the first performance (it was the adult choir singing songs from La La Land, which I love!) - presumably as their children weren't yet involved they weren't interested...
Turning round and glaring didn't work, so I had to resort to a loud "will you please stop talking", which seemed to do the trick, but I was annoyed at having to tell grown adults who really should know better.

tripYouOut
Your post is incredibly insensitive especially when read by wheelchair users and people like me, who are fighting not to be in one.

shiklah
I would have thought more people watched them than that. But still, they shouldn’t obscure the view of others. My dd loves watching any videos we can get although we don’t put the phone in the way of parents. For me, the videos are for people, who are too ill to come or live too far away as well as the child themselves. We showed some to my stepdad for example when he was alive.

ScattyCharly
A tall man has every right to stay at the front if he wants to and be an inconsiderate arse. However if he doesn’t want to obscure anyone’s view and is able bodied, he should go on his knees or the floor.

Don't arrange with other parent's to do a flash mob at some point during day/evening.
It is your child's time to shine, not yours!!

Our primary had the brilliant idea of banning all filming of events and then flogging the video as an email attachment for £2 or a DVD for £5. They've made a fortune.

Just coming to the end of nine years of having primary aged kids, and I’m truly grateful to say I’ve not had any of this crap behaviour.

From my experience tall men usually stand at the back or the side because they are aware they are tall. People who watch it through their screen on their phone/iPad are just ridiculous. Enjoy the moment!

Maybe when tall man arrived there were no people to stand behind so is he meant to keep a constant watch out and keep shuffling to the back? In reality that's what most people would do but I find the poster singling that out as worse than the women walking about at the front with a toddler or talking unfair. It's like lets pick on the only one involving a man as he must be clearly worse than anyone else. Does my head in.

My DS is 16 and going to a seated concert on his own, when picking a seat he was worried that the bit he was in wasn't particularly stepped. he said "what if everyone stands up and I can't see?" I said, "well you'll just need to stand up too" and he said "yes, but i'm tall (he's 6'2") and the people behind might then not be able to see". He chose a seat in the back row of that section so he'd be able to stand up and not block anyone. I doubt most folk, men or women, would be as considerate.

Phones are apparently banned at my children's school too but nobody actually takes any notice.

Why can't adopted children be filmed? Is it because their families might somehow see it? I didn't think adopted children stayed in the same area as their parents.

Where I teach, no filming, standing or preschoolers are allowed at performances. It cuts out a lot iof this shite.

I'm tall, my husband is also tall, we both stand at the back because we are not dicks like the other tall people standing at the front!

I've noticed this seems to be far more prevalent behaviour over the last couple of years. I used to read about this when DS1 was in primary - but thankfully parents refrained from standing up recording assemblies with their giant iPads usually. But when I've attended DS2's school shows, I've been surrounded by parents who just don't give a toss if anyone else can actually see! So it's either becoming more acceptable behaviour (unlikely?) or they are so fed up with others doing it that they decide that if they can't see the damn show they'll record it for later, even if the person behind then can't see...

No filming or pictures at ours either. You can take pictures of your own child after the performance on the stage if you like.
My hate is people saving seats for friends or relatives who haven't arrived yet. I remember one mum having an almighty paddy when someone had the cheek to actually want to sit in the front row seat she had baggsied for her sister in law who wasn't there yet. If you can't get there on time then tough shit, other people want to watch their kids too.

at dds last primary, headteacher simply banned any filming at all. said that she had spent years trying to be reasonable. not fair on others in the audience or on the children. one opportunity at the end when they did an encore and stayed on stage for photos. clear instructions on not sharing pics of anyone elses kids on social media and please tell her if it happened because she took safeguarding seriously.
good on her.

@SugarIsAmazing - some adopted children can be filmed, some cant. Some live local to where their birth family were/are, some dont. Some have no risk, some are at huge risk - of being found, of kidnap, of families being stalked by the birth family, of being taken and killed, of unthinkable abuse they have already been removed from.
Having other people put faces online can put foster children and adopted children at huge risk that most families never have to think of.
Thank you for asking why - its a really important question.

be a childminder with bored kids and open up bags of crisps for them , during the performance.

Y are soooooo bu! This shit ruins events for me.

Why can't adopted children be filmed? Is it because their families might somehow see it? I didn't think adopted children stayed in the same area as their parents.

Because it was a forced adoption and their families may be actively trying to track them down? A photo on facebook isn’t restricted to the childs new area, one idiot with no security settings and it can be seen worldwide.

It isn’t just adoption. Fostered kids. Families escaping domestic violence. Children and their mothers/families who are at real risk if they are identified. Children removed from families from their own safety.

Even kids with no family issues can be at serious risk- children of police officers, doctors, court judges, lab scientists-threats are often made against families.

This conversation was had on another thread. Many people had the view that come on, how much danger could a child be in, me taking a photo at the school play won’t put them at risk, i only post on facebook and i have settings on friends and family. Why do those kids trump my right to photograph my child- my child will suffer if they don’t have a video of their y1 christmas play...