To think of testicles whenever I hold a fig?

[LadyFilthPacquet]

It makes eating them a slightly weird experience.

I misread that as 'whenever I hold a fag' for a moment, and thought 'eh'? .

Whenever I see soft shell crabs on a menu, I have to try very hard not to think of tarantulas.

I am not sure I have ever held a fag.

Twenty, I am now regretting having started this thread. Tarantulas. Ugggghhh.

Same. I can’t bring myself to swallow them.

YNBU

I've always thought that dried figs were just mummified testicles.

'mummifed testicles'

Well, now you've done it! Will never look at a fig quite the same again.

Have you ever read about how figs are pollinated? Remember that the flowers are on the inside of the fruit and work from there...

My DH is very fond of figs and most evenings after supper he gets them all out of the fridge and gives them a right old seeing to checking which ones are ripe😳
Me and the kids love it, loads of jokes to be had!

Didn't Shakespeare use a fig (an open one) as a metaphor for female genitals in one of his plays...?

Am roaring with laughter now though re the ballsack thought!!!! Excellent!!!

I have a gorgeous mature fig tree. One of life’s most wonderful simple pleasures the last few years had been sitting in the shade under it on a hot summers day, eating a fresh, sweet, juicy just-picked fig. For a brief time all my worries and cares fall away, I exist purely in that moment and I am reminded how beautiful the world can be.

You’ve ruined it.

I hope you’re pleased with yourself.

Hahaha @Serendipity!! This thread has made my evening, I was properly pissed off earlier and now I'm grinning for Britain... Thank you OP!!

I think of figs when I see DH's, especially if he's a bit cold and they're a bit tight and wrinkly..... Great minds!

I've always thought kiwi fruit do. What a fruit salad that would make, kiwi, figs, and perhaps a banana?

YABVVVVU
You should be thinking of figs whenever you hold a testicle. That is clearly the correct way round to do it

I'm more with the kiwi fruits.
But I also think of willies (dicks/cocks/penises - any word will do) if I smell Brie, which is quite gross but I can't help it.

WHen you slice open a fig they resemble a diagram of a vagina and uterus. In Italy, the word for fig is Fica, and if you aren’t concentrating and lapse slightly into English when ordering and say Figa, you run the risk of offending someone as it’s cunt....

Brie 😂😂😂😂

I will never eat figs again

Look on YouTube for figs and wasps 🤢

OMG I will never be able to look at figs the same way again. Lol

Figs and pomegranates are like ovaries. It’s why in a lot of religions they are associated with female fertility.

Loving these replies. I have never read around the subject of figs, Mere, but I will now do so because there are not a million more important things I should be doing Might avoid YouTube, though, Chips.

Grumpy, I had always thought more Camembert than Brie, but I will think about it next time I crack open a Brie.

Justilou, you have reminded me of a conversation I had in Germany. I thought I was talking about a dog's paws. Turns out I was talking about its cunt.

Well that's figs, kiwis and brie ruined for me now.
Seriously, grumpy do the willies you've known smell like brie?

I’ve never realised this about figs but you’re right 😂 I’ve always thought Vietnamese summer rolls feel very penis-like.