WWYD? Should I swap Breast for Bottle?

[MadRainbow]

Feeling a bit fragile so though I know AIBU is shark infested waters please be a bit gentle with me.

Currently have nearly 3 month old DD breastfeeding with the not so occasional bottle of expressed breast milk. WIBU to switch her onto bottles?

Background as I'm trying not to drip feed: fed DD1 for just over a year, was damn hard work at first but got easier and easier despite reflux and possible milk allergy, thoroughly enjoyed feeding her.

Dd2 spent time in NICU after birth and I struggled with expressing enough for her. She was tube fed for the first week with formula top up but when I started feeding her there seemed to be no problem with supply. When she came home she became more and more unsettled and has since been diagnosed with reflux and a milk allergy which has limited my diet but I feel I'm coping with well. She's now more settled but recently I've had to spend fairly significant portions of time away from her (airport runs, adult only father's day meal, school inductions for DD1 so up to 6 hrs a time) I've managed to express decent amounts so this is possible but I find after she's had a bottle she settles and sleeps so much better than if I've been feeding her myself. She can easily go 3 hours between feeds whereas if I feed her myself I'm lucky to get 2hrs before she becomes upset again.

I have PND which I have antidepressants for but I feel as though I'm losing myself still. I don't have the time I had with DD1 feeding to devote to DD2 unless I become a hermit. Expressing takes so long and would compound my lack of time for much else plus if I express too often I seem to not get enough for her feeds again. I feel so selfish and ungrateful considering FF as I can't see how it benefits anyone except me. I'm perfectly capable of BF I did it before and I'm under no outside pressure to FF from family. If anything financially I should most definitely keep BF.

I keep swinging between the 2 options and it's really getting to me now. I suspect DD2 may have a gluten intolerance as well so trying to do gluten free to help her and if I make a mistake she ends up in pain with serious wind/tummy ache/diahorrea.

I fear this is going to start a war of BF vs FF and I just want to make my standpoint clear in that I am firmly pro-choice and a fed baby is best. But for myself I want to keep BF as I do enjoy it, it does make me happy, I just don't know if I can carry on feeling like I have no control where I go and for how long.

Sorry for the essay and if you've got to the bottom of this thanks for reading.

If she has a milk allergy will she be able to tolerate formula?

Is it allergy or intolerance? As they are two different things. For what I did read it’s normally intolerance

There used to be two groups of babies who are allergic to it and babies that are intolerant but now it is recognised they are are the same.

Some people use both terms or switch between them but intimately they are the same things.

CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) is now in two sub-categories:

Ige: which is a very quick auto-immune reaction like rashes, hives, anaphylaxis symptoms, hay fever type symptoms etc

Non-Ige: which are reactions like diarrhoea, vomiting, blood in stools, abdominal pain, delayed rashes etc

However, both types are recognised as being an allergy and both to be taken as seriously as the other.

That’s what has been explained to me anyway.

My son is Ige to dairy, coconut, strawberries, egg and corn.

He is non-Ige to soya, fish and rice

I think it’s true in the early days when it’s hell feeding a days old baby. But soon they are big enough to sleep through, my dc3 slept through from 7 weeks and she was bf. Until it happened to me I swore no babies slept through and it was all lies by other mums.

I had to stop bf when dd, was 6 months old, due to my illness, I felt awful and I'd let her down as a mum. I was also put down by other mums. 2 years later and hindsight was the best thing for both of us. Do want is best for you two and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. So long as feeding that's the main thing.