WWYD? Should I swap Breast for Bottle?

[MadRainbow]

Feeling a bit fragile so though I know AIBU is shark infested waters please be a bit gentle with me.

Currently have nearly 3 month old DD breastfeeding with the not so occasional bottle of expressed breast milk. WIBU to switch her onto bottles?

Background as I'm trying not to drip feed: fed DD1 for just over a year, was damn hard work at first but got easier and easier despite reflux and possible milk allergy, thoroughly enjoyed feeding her.

Dd2 spent time in NICU after birth and I struggled with expressing enough for her. She was tube fed for the first week with formula top up but when I started feeding her there seemed to be no problem with supply. When she came home she became more and more unsettled and has since been diagnosed with reflux and a milk allergy which has limited my diet but I feel I'm coping with well. She's now more settled but recently I've had to spend fairly significant portions of time away from her (airport runs, adult only father's day meal, school inductions for DD1 so up to 6 hrs a time) I've managed to express decent amounts so this is possible but I find after she's had a bottle she settles and sleeps so much better than if I've been feeding her myself. She can easily go 3 hours between feeds whereas if I feed her myself I'm lucky to get 2hrs before she becomes upset again.

I have PND which I have antidepressants for but I feel as though I'm losing myself still. I don't have the time I had with DD1 feeding to devote to DD2 unless I become a hermit. Expressing takes so long and would compound my lack of time for much else plus if I express too often I seem to not get enough for her feeds again. I feel so selfish and ungrateful considering FF as I can't see how it benefits anyone except me. I'm perfectly capable of BF I did it before and I'm under no outside pressure to FF from family. If anything financially I should most definitely keep BF.

I keep swinging between the 2 options and it's really getting to me now. I suspect DD2 may have a gluten intolerance as well so trying to do gluten free to help her and if I make a mistake she ends up in pain with serious wind/tummy ache/diahorrea.

I fear this is going to start a war of BF vs FF and I just want to make my standpoint clear in that I am firmly pro-choice and a fed baby is best. But for myself I want to keep BF as I do enjoy it, it does make me happy, I just don't know if I can carry on feeling like I have no control where I go and for how long.

Sorry for the essay and if you've got to the bottom of this thanks for reading.

If baby has cows milk allergy then you may be able to get formula on prescription? We tried a couple, ended up on sma alfamino, but I continued to bf as well. My dc was around 8 months when I went back to work so the formula was for the childminder to give, but dh used to make up a bottle every now and then. I actually still bf (dc is nearly 3 🙈) but we stopped the formula when he turned 1.

Whatever you choose to do I'm sure it'll be for the best. So long as baby is well fed, looked after and loved I'm sure you'll both be absolutely fine.

for you, and congratulations on your baby.

Queen I never considered that DD wouldn't like the hyperallergenic formula. So this could all be a moot point anyway...

I think I'm gonna start with the overwhelming majority though that expressing is a bitch and I'm going to give that up. We'll see where we go from there

OP it is a good point. DT1 had to have bf supplemented with high calorie formula for a bit after nicu...... only, he didn't like the taste 🙈 honestly, it was a fucking disaster with him taking 1 hour + over say 65mls of formula.

Luckily they found an alternative but I don't know how much choice you'd have in your situation if she refused a prescription one.

Mix feed. BF as normal, but if you need to go out for a day without baby then leave a ready made bottle. It's the least faffing about, allows you to keep bfing, is still pretty cheap over all - everyone's a winner!

Honestly I would say do what's better for your mental health! Happy mum is a happy baby and either way baby is fed.

madrainbow - I can’t tell you how disgusting the stuff must taste - the powder smells just like cheesy feet

I was given nutramigen by my GP and people have said that Neocate tastes marginally better but I think neocate is double the price of nutramigen so I don’t think it’s routineky given out.

My GP told me that none of the doctors at the surgery are allowed to prescribe neocate due to the costs and only a Paediatrician can. However, within the NHS, for funding reasons I do believe that nutramigen is usually tried first anyway.

The GP gave me ten tins (God knows why) and I ended up giving 9 unopened tins to someone else because I knew my son was never going to take it.

I have started introducing Oatly milk in to my son’s diet now as that’s what I drink and touch wood he seems to tolerate it. However, he can’t have it as his main drink, even when he is over 1, hence why I know breast feeding is on the cards for some time yet.

Weaning is a nightmare - it’s transpiring that he has allergies to various foods.

I’m sorry if I missed it, but if you haven’t been referred to a dietician then ask your GP or HV to do it.

Agree with pp that mix feeding is definitely worth considering. I have been mix feeding for 5 months (started off as having to give top ups due to low supply). I can't express much at all despite trying everything, so I mix bf with bottles of formula. Haven't had any issues with bottle preference and it gives great flexibility as long as you maintain some bf to keep supply.

I just want to echo what others have said, I tried to get my 4mo onto dairy-free formula and she refused! And tbh it smelt awful so couldn’t have tasted very nice. So don’t pin your heart on this being a wonderful solution. I did however perfect the art of manual pumping on one side whilst baby fed on the other. This meant I saved time.

Babies, I hate the

I have an appointment with a dietician lined up for the middle of July I believe but my paediatric appointment isn't until November so I think I might go along to the next baby clinic and mention something to the health visitors there. Fortunately DD doesn't seem to express any preference to bottles so I should be able to combo feed without touchwood too much difficulty.

Queen you have my deepest sympathies, I put DD1 on sweetened (with Apple juice) soya milk when I weaned her and had reasonable success with that, she has it on cereal but has never had it as a plain drink. I do understand however there are studies suggesting a link with infertility to soya milk so it's a bit of a mixed bag...

I was considering buying a tin of formula from the pharmacy just to try but there seem to be so many different aspects to it all I don't think I want to do this without talking to someone first. How do you know if an allergy is mild or not??

Have you done the Dairy Challenge to confirm the CMPA?

When my son was about 4 months old, so I had been dairy free for 2 months I was told to binge on dairy as a challenge to see if there was any change in my son which would confirm his allergy.

I had two chocolate milkshakes which was HEAVEN and then two hours later I breast fed my son.

About an hour after his feed both his arms flared up with horrendous eczema and so confirmed the allergy.

A high number of babies who are dairy intolerant are also intolerant of soya as the proteins are very similar. Thankfully my son can tolerate soya through my breast milk but he reacts if he eats it directly which is why he can’t go on to soya milk when he’s 1 which is what Dieticians aim for.

This is what happened when I had egg. This is his scalp and had 3 infected lesions like this one and was on antibiotics for two weeks

This is what happened to him when he was kissed by someone who had eaten a cheese pizza....

No Queen we haven't gotten as far as the challenge though I believe that's what the dietician will be doing with us, the paediatrician mentioned a "milk ladder challenge" I just knew that my DD had a horrendous rash all over that finally improved after about 3 or 4 weeks of being dairy free and now we are at nearly 8 weeks she is significantly more settled than she was when this all started. If that is what I have to do I'm really not looking forward to it, is there nothing less painful or unsettling for the poor babies to test this??

Your poor little boy those pictures look so sore and I had no idea soya was similar to cow's milk proteins...

The milk ladder challenge is for when a child is weaning and is a way of slowly introducing dairy to their diet to test what they can/can’t tolerate or to see if they’ve outgrown the allergy. The milk ladder isn’t generally done until the infant is over 1 years old.

The dairy challenge is something the mother is advised to do 6 weeks after being dairy free (and usually soya free too) where she should have a huge dairy intake to see if anything happens to the baby to confirm it is CMPA. I don’t know whether all women do it but it’s quite common.

My son has got skin prick allergy tests in two weeks where they test for all the main allergens and also anything I think he may be allergic to based on how weaning has gone so far.

I don’t know if you have Facebook but there is an excellent support group for breast feeding CMPA babies and I really recommend it. They have been a huge support to me over the last 8 months.

First of all you’ve done an amazing job! Feel proud of yourself.

I was going to say maybe in your shoes I’d swap to ff specially cuz it’s affecting your diet until I’ve read this sentence “for myself I want to keep BF as I do enjoy it, it does make me happy, “ specially the it does make me happy bit. In that case I think if you can handle it I’d continue bf but I’d give up all those commitments you’ve.

I’ve got a baby similar age to yours and I’d not say it’s been an easy journey I nearly gave up at the beginning and when I thought he was having intolerance to milk cuz of me and reflux. Now that things have settle down I’m happy I’ve continued with it. Have you consider seeing an osteopath ! It’s helped us loads with wind and reflux. I also express from time to time and hate it. I’m going back to work in October so trying to get some milk for then but fearing it won’t be enough. But the few moments I can do it I feel like I can’t be arsed to.

Btw my baby won’t even make 2 hours lately but at night he’s doing 8pm - 10-3/4am -6 and sometimes 1am. Ff babies normally sleep better as milk is heavier so are full for longer

Queen I haven't been given a dairy challenge but I think there was a mix up with my paediatric appointments so it may have been planned for the one that got cancelled, I will chase that up on Monday. I do have Facebook and will look into that group. Thanks for the heads up

Daisy I think we were on the same April due date threads on here. I can't really say what DD has been doing sleepless at night, we have been reluctantly co-sleeping and I never check the time. I know there are usually about 2 waking a night but she usually just gets a let down and we both fall back to sleep. That is likely to change now I'm trying to put her back in her crib (co-sleeping scares me). How does an osteopath help? Some vague memory is telling me I've read this before a long time ago but completely forgotten til you mentioned it. Might be worth looking at

Do whatever works for you and yours love. X

True ! I didn’t recognise your nickname

They’ve helped my baby with the winds by moving tension from the back and head. I won’t say it def works as I read it doesn’t for some and for us he’s more calmed down and not so much reflux. But he doesn’t have any intolerance and so.

We do cosleep tho. He hates his cot and won’t settle on it. It does scare but it’s oknif you follow the guides and say it can be done if bf bit shouldn’t if ff

You’ve had plenty of specialised advice that I can’t provide. I’d just like to say you’re doing an amazing job.

I’m sorry you’ve got pnd. I do think you’re spreading yourself far too thinly. If you aren’t looking after yourself you cannot possibly expect to look after anyone else. You’ve got a baby and a young child. You and your children need to be the priority. Adult only meals out and airport runs aren’t. Someone else can do these. Or your dh can take the train/taxi etc. The important thing right now is to learn to be much kinder and gentler to yourself. You’ve had a rough ride.

I hope whatever you decide you and your lo feel better soon.

Just popping on to say that my DS with CMPA had no problems going on to dairy free formula, despite it smelling like old chip pans, he loves the stuff!

Yeah because you aren't sure I would say combo feeding is def the way to go for now.

I lasted 3 days BF with my first (and it was the worst 3 days of my entire life!) and straight to formula with my second.

If you want to swap the way she’s fed, what you’ve already done is amazing, I wouldn’t give it a second thought. She loves you and won’t care how she is fed.

daisyland please stop perpetuating the myth that ff fed babies miraculously sleep all night because the milk is heavier. It maybe true in first couple of weeks, but by 3 months if a baby is going to sleep all night or not has got nothing to do with formula and everything to do with the baby’s unique personality.

So a mother who has a baby that can’t sleep through and is bf needs support from a partner and also needs to think about how to solve the sleep situation she doesn’t need to add sterilising and making up bottles to her middle of the night nightmare!

I wish I knew this when I had my son. Please any bf reading this, once bf is established and baby is already a few months old don’t make the switch to ff in the hope your baby will soon become a miracle sleeper. Unfortunately life is a bitch and like me you drew the short straw with a baby who fights sleep and needs maximum mummy closeness (in my case until 2.5 years old and we’d not been bf for nearly 2 of those years)!

Sorry didn’t meant that ! In fact my baby as mentioned he’s bf so i have no clue ! I’m in an April born babies and I’ve seen that the ff ones slept for longer than the bf ones , that’s why I was saying but as I’ve also said what works for one might not work for the rest