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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think more demanding toddlers or babies tend to become more intelligent adults?

69 replies

Bumpitybumper · 22/06/2018 14:42

I've heard this theory a few times but what do you think?

By the way you probably have guessed correctly that I'm hoping this is the reason for my toddler's "challenging" behaviourWink Please tell me I'm not clutching at straws here and that I am dealing with a future Einstein or something.

OP posts:
sexnotgender · 22/06/2018 14:44

My daughter was super chilled and easy and is doing very well just going in to 4th year at school winning prizes etc. Hoping to be a vet so I’d assume she’s fairly smart.

Original poster
Bumpitybumper · 22/06/2018 14:45

@sexnotgender
Noooo this can't be allowed surely. An easy, chilled toddler AND clever child.

OP posts:
ChickenOrEgg6 · 22/06/2018 14:46

Nah, your toddler is just challenging. Sorry. Smile
They may later be intelligent, or they may not. But either way I don't think it makes a difference. I say that as a Mum of a spirited naughty asf 4 y/old

RedPandaMama · 22/06/2018 14:46

I had a friend (since I was in nursery age 9 months) that was a very demanding baby, toddler, child and teenager. Only child, always got her own way, bullied her dad to bring her stuff constantly. Good friend though, and very very clever. 11 As at GCSE, two As two As at A-level, 1st in a psychology degree!

Hope that helps!

sexnotgender · 22/06/2018 14:46

Sorry Grin she’s a very opinionated teenager if that makes you feel better?

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 22/06/2018 14:47

No way are they connected

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 22/06/2018 14:47

Ooh well now that would be a silver lining on a very DS2 shaped dark cloud Grin I will watch this space!

ForgetMeNotCat · 22/06/2018 14:48

I had a chilled one and a demanding nightmare one and they are similar intelligence.

jamoncrumpets · 22/06/2018 14:48

I was apparently a 'very easy baby' - I have a first undergrad and two postgrad degrees. I was - shock, horror - bottle fed too!

QuizzlyBear · 22/06/2018 14:49

Nope, sorry! I had one high maintenance, non-stop demanding baby/toddler and one chilled out zen baby. The demanding one is not academically skilled (but his energy levels pay dividends in sports!) but the zen baby is now 'gifted and talented'...

Original poster
Bumpitybumper · 22/06/2018 14:49

@RedPandaMama
Excellent, this has cheered me up

Ignores all other posts that disagree with me
Grin

OP posts:
MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 22/06/2018 14:49

Doubt it.

My friend's massively easy DS is already winning prizes in his first year at secondary, model pupil, lovely lad etc.

Her massively challenging DD has just been diagnosed with ASD.

I was a nightmare, but academically gifted... and I've done fuck all with my life since then!

wwwwwwwwwwwwww · 22/06/2018 14:49

Mmm not sure the whole marshmallow test suggest self control at an early age predicts success.

TheStoic · 22/06/2018 14:50

No correlation. I was super easy-going as a child. Grin

sexnotgender · 22/06/2018 14:50

I was the same jamoncrumpets, apparently I was even nice as a teenager! I also have a first class degree but no post grads.

blackteasplease · 22/06/2018 14:50

It's probably something we like to say to makes ourselves or others feel better!

It's probably true for some people tho ugh!

Original poster
Bumpitybumper · 22/06/2018 14:52

@sexnotgender
Nice as a teenager! I know we're not meant to be troll hunting but...

OP posts:
Lightsong · 22/06/2018 14:52

I really, really hope this is true!

KoshaMangsho · 22/06/2018 14:53

I was super easy going. I have a PhD and I work as a senior academic.
DS1 was the most chilled out toddler ever. He’s six and very much in the top set for most things.
DS2 is a demon. And I am not convinced is anywhere as clever as his brother ‘academically’ (doesn’t have the patience) but will go far in life with his huge personality and charming smile. 🙄🙄

jamoncrumpets · 22/06/2018 14:53

Oh I wasn't a nice teenager. I was a bit of a twat.

PaintBySticker · 22/06/2018 14:53

If that’s what you need to tell yourself to get through the day OP Grin

MiddleagedManic · 22/06/2018 14:53

Have heard that quite often, but all anecdotal. It depends on what you call 'demanding' really. I know really clever kids who weren't very demanding when younger as they were in their own world, probably working on complex problems in their heads :) In other cases, demanding can mean no let up for the parents - nothing getting past the child so can't sneak them to bed earlier as they can read the clock early, that they are up on what happens and when so they know if you are trying to fudge bedtime time or they know it's Wednesday or they read something on the calendar but are only 2 - basically kids who challenge, who want to have and give an opinion and who are sometimes right compared to the adult/parent who is looking after them. Then yes, those kids, certainly seem to have 'something' that will help them to go far....even if it's an overblown sense of confidence. I do think 'switched on' kids can be more hard work and they are also often those that do well at school.

sexnotgender · 22/06/2018 14:54

Retreats quietly under bridge...

AmazingPostVoices · 22/06/2018 14:54

I disagree with your theory but I have something to make you feel better.

My DS was incredibly challenging. Adorable but a whirlwind.

He is now extremely well behaved. Charming, kind, well behaved, beautiful manners etc.

Stick on in there. Challenging toddler doesn’t have to mean challenging child or teen. Just persevere.

WeirdCatLady · 22/06/2018 14:55

I was always lovely, even through teen years. Postgrad here.
Dd was adorable, and at 16 is a dream to live with, and also top of all her classes.
Sorry.

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