To think more demanding toddlers or babies tend to become more intelligent adults?

[Bumpitybumper]

I've heard this theory a few times but what do you think?

By the way you probably have guessed correctly that I'm hoping this is the reason for my toddler's "challenging" behaviour Please tell me I'm not clutching at straws here and that I am dealing with a future Einstein or something.

Sorry - ds was born laid back and was incredibly chilled as a small child. Was the youngesr kid in the year and winning academic prizes and scholarship.

He's a PITA teenager now though.

I definitely believe this (and will close my ears to anyone telling me otherwise). My two demanding, non sleeping children must grow up to be geniuses and easy, chilled teens who never cause me a seconds worry! Please let it be true!

The frightening thing about this thread is that the correlation seems to work the other way where the laid back, easy children are also the smartest. How is that fair? I feel like I want to throw one of my epic toddler's tantrums about the whole thing.

A relative (who was a child psychologist) says that the quiet ones are just observing and taking everything in (and plotting world domination).

I added the last bit myself.

Agreed, challenging toddler doesn’t necessarily mean they will grow up to be geniuses BUT just because a kid is challenging as a toddler, it doesn’t mean they always will be.

My DS was exhausting as a toddler, always on, no downtime, always curious and blabbering and getting himself into scrapes. I would end every day with him drained of all my energy. He had tantrums a lot, was very stubborn and I would always leave toddler play groups mortified by his antics and wondering why he was so hyper when other kids seemed so laid back.

Now he is 6, very bright as it happens, but more surprisingly to me he is well-behaved at school, sits well, listens and is not disruptive at all. No-one believes me now when I tell them about his toddler antics! I thought we were headed for borstal when he was 3 years old but by 6 it has all worked itself out and I love spending time with him. He can still get over-emotional about small things but nothing like the tantrums he used to have.

So hang in there, OP, it gets better!

There's a lot of (good) science that shows that the more sleep a child has as a baby/infant, the more adaptable their adult brain will be, laying down a richer neural network.

well in this house we are all pretty much thick as 2 short planks... DD1 was the nightmare baby/toddler/up until about 10. DD2 was easy peasy. They are both now at uni; and the teenage years were pretty wonderful with both (hoping to give hope to parents yet to get to that stage)

If it helps, my brilliance came at the price of my mental health, and Dd is in a wheelchair.

(I know that’s not what you meant. Everyone is different and unique, and your D.C. will be fab no matter what x)

Intelligent kids are often pretty challenging or characterised as so by schools, I think. Less likely to obey without questioning, more likely to challenge adults, especially teachers, and they often ask strange questions etc.

Intelligent kids often don't get social norms/constructs if they're very logical, which can often be called poor manners. DS was like this.

Emotionally intelligent/astute children often know exactly what buttons to press and can do so with a somewhat childish glee!

Or the toddler could just be challenging Hang on OP.

I think there is some truth in this. My DD was extremely 'challenging' during her baby and toddler years,in fact,right up until she was about 10 years old. She calmed down a lot then,and turned out to be a very well behaved,intelligent teenager,attaining excellent GCSE and A level grades and a good university degree. She is 34 now and I am extremely proud of how she has turned out.

My easygoing baby has just learned long Multiplication he’s just turned five.

So...
Maybe not!!

My super easy baby/fairly easy toddler (95% of the time) is ridiculously intelligent teenager (not just PFB/Mummy blinkers - has been agreed by professionals) but has also recently been diagnosed with ASD and is currently a school refuser. My bloody nightmare toddler well...she is still a toddler so only time will tell.... I am hoping that she will be just as intelligent but without the added extras iykwim...

My incredible demanding, high needs, "spirited" daughter is coming towards the end of primary school now. She is ridiculously clever. Identified as gifted and talented in her first term at school. Won herself a full academic scholarship to private school at 7. Is musical, sporty, and just generally a brilliant all-rounder. She remains a colossal pain in the arse and is just as "spirited" now as she was as a toddler.

My son was a chilled out baby and toddler - didn;t bother even trying to walk till 18months - and is now very much the slower end of average. Barely average at all, if I'm being fair. It may all "click" for him at some point, but for now he's a touch on the slow side. He is, however an utter delight and still very chilled. He's also quite astonishngly good looo

Ooops, computer went mad and posted before I'd finished...

East going child is still easy going, not bright, but very beautiful. Hoping her can coast through life on looks and charm, TBH.

I agree with your theory, OP!

In my family most are academically gifted. The difficult children are the ones that also made it high up in their jobs (managers, very successful musicians, price winning architects), the chilled ones are less successful in jobs (no promotions over years, Just about passed professional exams, ...) . All are happy though! So it doesn’t really matter. Both of my boys are of the extremely challenging sort, so 8hope this will work for us as well ;)

Both dcs were the most non-chilled babies ever who did not sleep for years. Once we got past toddlerhood, they are lovely.

Whilst everyone else was complaining how their babies got more and more challenging as toddlers and pre-schoolers, I was thinking how much easier this is getting. I am living the Life of Riley now they are 14 and 11.

I don't think there is a link between intelligence and difficulty as babies/toddlers. If there is any link, it is more to do with personality and their natural ability to self-sooth and deal with stress and lack of control as babies/toddlers.

All of this will resolve with maturity and as they gain control over their bodies and surroundings. I can see the connection between why they were difficult as babies and their personalities now.

I was apparently a pain... I’m not very clever sorry to say

Not true.
Ds1 has been demanding his whole life and is coasting through A-levels.

Dd was an easy baby and child and is on course for top grades at GCSE.

YABU.

Ds was super-chilled - and slept through from 2 weeks (Actually had to wake him up to bf him we didn't talk much about his sleep habits with our friends who had non sleeping kids ) and is off to Aberdeen Uni in September with an Unconditional to study International Relations.

Sorry

Having said that, he can be a bloody stroppy and unappreciative 17 year old and his room is a tip (But to be fair, he's spent the last 2 days cleaning the health hazard it as he wants to host the Prom after-party next week and for us to sleep overnight at a friend's place )