My Fiancé has been sectioned

[MummaSeahorse]

Good morning all, I hope you all had a good night’s sleep...better than me anyway!
Yesterday I had to call 999 as my fiancé and daddy to our six month old daughter was having a breakdown. He had one last year while I was pregnant and quickly recovered, but there are clearly ongoing MH issues. We have recently moved nearly 500 miles from family and friends for a new job, so I don’t have much of a support network here and don’t want family to worry as they are so far away. My fiancé has not been violent, in fact almost the complete opposite, his MH state causes him to become over protective, constantly saying ‘I love you’ to me and daughter, pacing, paranoid checking of door lock and that no one is there to ‘get us’, worrying that we will leave him. Yesterday he paced with our little M in his arms for over two hours, constantly saying ‘are you alright my love ‘ and kissing her head. Although he knew she needed feeding/changing/a nap he just couldn’t break the cycle. In the end I had to call 999 and the police came and took him to hospital. He is currently awaiting transfer fro our small local hospital to a larger one with a specialist MH unit. They said this morning that due to his agitated state they are sectioning him. I’m now waiting for him to be transferred so I can take through some things for him as he only had the clothes he was wearing yesterday.
I’ve just had a call from social services as with police and a child they need to check on situation, someone is coming to see us in an hour or so. Hopefully they will be able to offer some support for us as very isolated out here.
We’ve got one heck of a journey ahead, last time he was sent to a unit on the south coast, we are now up in the Highlands so not sure where he is going to be!
Long post I know, thank you if you’ve made it to the end! I just need to ‘download’ some of this...a problem shared and all that!

Oh gosh, what a situation for you OP, I can only imagine! I have no advice to offer I'm afraid, but how are you holding up in all this? Do you have people to speak to about it? and a swift recovery to your fiance.

Sounds very scary but good that he's now getting help.

They have probably sectioned him so that they can medicate. It's all a bit difficult with few spare places in hospitals, people end up all over.

Fingers crossed for you all.

Well done for getting him the help he needed quickly OP. I'm sorry you are going through this. Do you have anyone you can talk to IRL?

Sounds like a very difficult situation. I hope he won’t be too far from you, also you won’t be able to take dd when you visit as
children aren’t allowed on MH wards (at least in England). Hope he recovers soon and that you can manage this difficult period without him.

So sorry you are going through this. I don't know what your family are like but it is time to bother them. If my kids were trying to manage this alone I would be v upset.

Well done for calling the police. What a hard decision.

thats not necessarily true 4dogs the mental health unit i worked on had a family room which could be used for children visiting but it does of course depend on how settled he is etc.

Best wishes to you all.

OP

I have relatives in the Highlands, and I know that all serious non-mental health illness/accidents are dealt with at Raigmore in Inverness, so I wouldn't be surprised if Inverness is also where in-patient mental health is dealt with, in which case sadly you could be in for a lot of travelling.

The good news, however (this I do know from family experience) is that once your fiance is out of hospital, out-patient, community based mental health is fairly spread out and local. One of my adult male relatives needs ongoing mental health support which he's able to access via a community centre on the island he lives on (think town big enough to support a high school - so long term that may be the sort of place your fiance will be going for appointments/support groups).

Good luck, and well done, you did absolutely the right thing calling the police. (I've also, sadly, had first hand experience of dealing with the police up in the Highlands over a family matter, and found them to be very sensitive and sympathetic, as well as extremely professional).

@MummaSeahorse I am so sorry to hear this and wish you and your partner well.

I've known a few people sectioned or hospitalised and I had OCD as a teen, although not so serious. But I recognise the fear about things and checking etc.

Your dp sounds like a kind person and I really hope he will get all the help he needs. He must be very afraid. i know when i was a teen I felt like I was losing my mind. It's terribly hard but I really really there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

It sounds like maybe the move and pressure has triggered some things. I hope that things will work out well, and if not, would moving back near support and family and friends maybe be an option in the future.

Yes, it must have been a hard decision but you did it, well done. Really well done. XXXXX

Yes, it must have been a hard decision to call the police.

You took control, well done.

I haven't really got any advice, but well done for getting him help, I hope he recovers soon. Do you have anyone you can talk to or be with for a while?

You sound amazingly calm after what must have been a scary time for you all. You should feel very proud for calling in help. You are a great Mumand partner. It is very hard living someone when they are unwell. I hope you get lots of support IRL.

You poor thing. Such a difficult situation. I’ve been in psych hospitals many times, it will definitely be the best place for him and hopefully they can stabilise him quickly. Why did you move so far? Are there any friends or family who could come to you?

Well done for making the call
Try Scotland MIND

I'm sorry your family is going through this and wish you all the best. You did absolutely the right thing and I hope he responds well to treatment.

Just offering a handhold. You've done the right thing. He'll get the help he needs now, hopefully not too far from home.

Hand hold my love, you've done the right thing for you and your family.
He may well be taken to Raigmore, or the New Craigs Hospital, which has facilities for both Adult MH and Learning Disabilities. I'm local to both, and he'll be well looked after.
Take care of yourself, and try to get some IRL help if you can. My inbox is open to you

www.nhshighland.scot.nhs.uk/Services/Pages/MentalHealth.aspx

Hi OP, I'm in Inverness. With your man being sectioned, it's most likely he will be taken to New Craig's, a mental hospital up the road from me. I can't see why they would need to send him away, presuming it's Inverness you are in or nearby

Cora's posted sequence

Another one offering a hand hold to you OP. Do you have any support offline for yourself? Family or friends nearby? Please do take good care of yourself too, as sometimes it’s easy to forget to when you’re caring for someone else you love

Some websites you may find useful
breathingspace.scot/
www.supportinmindscotland.org.uk/
www.birchwoodhighland.org.uk/

Am Highlands too. All roads lead to Inverness. All the best.

That must have been very scary to see. However, you did the very best thing by calling for help and he will appreciate it once his head is clearer.

I hope you have some rl support. in the meantime and look after yourself and your little one.