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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Colleague trying to make me go FT!

98 replies

Urubu · 22/06/2018 08:36

I am working part-time, 3.5 days a week.
This has been arranged when I was hired and I said from the beginning that I was only looking for 3 to 3.5 days, not more.

All good for a year, now a colleague who recently came back from ML have asked to switch to part-time and has been told no because of the workload.
We do the same kind of work, so to simplify, there is 8.5d worth of work to do, I do 3.5 so she has to do 5.

Her plan is now to convince me to go FT so she can go PT herself!
AIBU to say sorry but no?!
She brings it up every day, in front of other colleagues, argues that her DC are younger (mine are primary school aged), that I enjoyed being PT so now it is her turn etc.
So annoying!

OP posts:

tictac86 · 22/06/2018 10:22

Its cheeky and rude. Actually maybe even entitled. I feel for you but i did think employers had to honour parental responsibility. What about employing another petson pt

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 10:28

employers had to honour parental responsibility.
they have to apply the legal maternity and paternity leave rules,and cannot refuse unpaid dependent leave for example. Of course they don't have to change the business because somebody decided to have a child.

Can you imagine how unfair it would be if parents were suddenly giving priority in an office to pick and chose what days/hours/holidays they want, and leave non-parents to pick the slack? It wouldn't even work if all the staff had kids.

On a practical note, nothing has to change when you come back from maternity leave, you are just guaranteed to have your job back - which can be tricky enough.

cadburyegg · 22/06/2018 10:33

Bloody rude. There seems to be some idea in the workplace that if you have young kids you must be given what hours you want.

I worked FT before going on mat leave with my first baby, then I negotiated it down to 3 days which luckily my employer was happy to accommodate but if they had said no, it would have had bugger all else to do with my other colleagues.

StormTreader · 22/06/2018 10:34

The more she complains to everyone, the bigger her problem will feel to everyone, and the "simplest easiest solution" will start looking like YOU should "just change".
You need to make sure your argument of "not possible" is 100% firm and loud enough to the people that make these decisions.

echt · 22/06/2018 10:48

OP, please do not communicate your views verbally. Email only. You need a paper trail for when the shit hits the fan.

I do union work and I at staff who say they just want to "have a chat" with management/whatever.

summercat · 22/06/2018 10:49

I cannot add anything else to the thread for advice, as many posters have given you great advice ... Put it IN WRITING to the woman (email and hard copy and keep one for yourself, and maybe copy your manager in) saying you are NOT changing your working hours. And if SHE needs to change/drop her hours, she needs to discuss it with the manager - and add that you want her to stop haranguing you to go full time so SHE may drop her hours. Otherwise you will take the matter further and report her for bullying.

I had a similar problem some years back. I was full time for 6-7 years, then I had my daughter and went part time (2 days one week/3 days the next... so 2.5 days a week.... working for the council.)

And my issue wasn't with colleagues, but my manager when my daughter was a YEAR old. I had been back off maternity leave for about 7-8 months as you only got 18 weeks back then... And at this point (when she was a year old,) he told me that now my daughter is one, I can go back to full time, because there is no need for me to be part time anymore!

I was aghast and said 'what? She is only a baby still.' He said 'your childminder has her 2 days one week, 3 days the next, she can have her full time. You need to come back full time.' I don't know why, because someone else had been taken on full time, to take on my extra work when I went part time 3 months before I went on maternity leave, and to take the extra work for another woman who dropped from 4, to 2 days a week. Everyone was happy, yet he kept nagging me.

My contract had been CHANGED to 2.5 days a week, (by the manager above HIM 3 months before I went on maternity leave,) and there was nothing he could do about it. So I said no, and after that, he kept on bullying and harassing and haranguing and nagging for me to go full time. 'She doesn't need you at home all the time, you NEED to come back full time blah blah blah. ' He wouldn't let up.

After a YEAR of tolerating his bullying, I reported him to HR and he got a warning for it. He tried to make my life hell after that by attacking everything I did, so I reported that too, and he got told off again, but he still never stopped having a go at me.

I move departments shortly after, as I couldn't stand it any longer. But I remember the bullying well, to go back full time.

If this woman doesn't quit when you tell her in writing to cease and desist, then take it further.

Original poster

Urubu · 22/06/2018 11:12

Update: She asked if I had thought about the schedule change (as if this was an ongoing conversation...) and I said "I thought about your offer to take some of your working days but I have decided against changing my agreed work pattern. If you want to re-negociate yours I think you need to talk to Manager". She said I was being difficult and that hopefully Manager will be fair

I also emailed our manager to make him aware of what my position was.
I have been working with him for 10y and have a friendly relationship with him so not worried at all about him trying to put pressure on me.

OP posts:

Trinity66 · 22/06/2018 11:14

Bloody hell, did you tell your manager in that email that she's been harassing you about this because he needs to tell her to stop talking to you about it. What a cheeky arsehole

summercat · 22/06/2018 11:18

Jeez OP she sounds like a PITA.

Hope you get it sorted, and make sure your manager knows she is basically bullying you and harassing you.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 11:25

She said I was being difficult and that hopefully Manager will be fair

how unprofessional can that woman be!

ForgetMeNotCat · 22/06/2018 11:54

She can't just bully you into giving her your part time job and make you take her full time one. She needs to get her own part time job if she's not happy with her current full time one

ForgetMeNotCat · 22/06/2018 11:54

It's not your problem

cadburyegg · 22/06/2018 12:05

What a CF. I realise this is besides the point but your children are still young! Presumably your working hours are to accommodate them. Maybe ask her what she expects you to do in the holidays etc if you have to work full time? Will she be providing your childcare perhaps??

HeckyPeck · 22/06/2018 12:56

It sounds like like she thinks the manager will force you to take her hours. Definitely deluded!

PrincessCuntsuelaVaginaHammock · 22/06/2018 12:57

The colleague is being quite unwise.

Poloshot · 22/06/2018 13:15

Tell her to fuck off and not mention it again. In the nicest possible way of course.

FeistyOldBat · 22/06/2018 13:40

Christonabike! It reminds me of the years I was a union rep. I'd email her, copied to your line manager, telling her that her harassment is distracting you from your work, and it's past time she shut up and resolved her own preferences like a mature adult.

Whatshallidonowpeople · 22/06/2018 13:48

Why not do 4 days each?

PrincessCuntsuelaVaginaHammock · 22/06/2018 13:55

Presumably OP doesn't want to.

Iggi999 · 22/06/2018 14:03

The job clearly can be done part-time so the employer should properly consider her flexible working request - if they took on a third person it might mearn one more to manage but it increases flexibility and continuity if one person does leave, gets sick or pg.

purplemunkey · 22/06/2018 14:04

Why not do 4 days each?

Why on earth should OP do that? I wanted to go part time when I went back to work after mat leave and like OP secured a part time job. I, like OP, would never have considered changing my contract just because a FT member of staff suddenly wanted me to do her hours. If this woman wants a part time role she needs to negotiate that with her current employer or find a new one. It has absolutely nothing to do with OP.

OP I'd be very angry about this and id have to put an end to it. Talk to your line manager about this and summarise in email so it's in writing.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 14:05

Why not do 4 days each?
because the OP has accepted a contract for 3.5 days and there's no reason to renegotiate.

The OP doesn't have to justify her working PT, maybe she wants to, maybe she has to, but that's nobody's business. What her colleague wants to do with her own contract of employment is her own problem.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 14:07

The job clearly can be done part-time
by the OP? Absolutely. As it stands, obviously not by the other full-time employee but it's between management and the other woman, nothing to do with the OP.

Posters just saying "recruit someone else" have no idea of the cost of employing someone, it's not that simple!

CoughLaughFart · 22/06/2018 14:09

Why not do 4 days each?

Great idea! Or, even better, the OP continues to do 3.5 days as per her contract and the condition on which she took the job - and this other woman fucks off?

Ellie56 · 22/06/2018 14:16

Great idea! Or, even better, the OP continues to do 3.5 days as per her contract and the condition on which she took the job - and this other woman fucks off?

Quite.

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