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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague trying to make me go FT!

98 replies

Urubu · 22/06/2018 08:36

I am working part-time, 3.5 days a week.
This has been arranged when I was hired and I said from the beginning that I was only looking for 3 to 3.5 days, not more.

All good for a year, now a colleague who recently came back from ML have asked to switch to part-time and has been told no because of the workload.
We do the same kind of work, so to simplify, there is 8.5d worth of work to do, I do 3.5 so she has to do 5.

Her plan is now to convince me to go FT so she can go PT herself!
AIBU to say sorry but no?!
She brings it up every day, in front of other colleagues, argues that her DC are younger (mine are primary school aged), that I enjoyed being PT so now it is her turn etc.
So annoying!

OP posts:
WerkSupp · 22/06/2018 09:07

What Lonny said.

Original poster
Urubu · 22/06/2018 09:07

Ok, so next time she says something I will tell her that my decision is final and that if she continues to bring it up I will have to let our manager know.

Midnite I honestly wouldn't mind if she went PT, why would I? As long as it doesn't impact my contracted work time...

OP posts:
Ohmydayslove · 22/06/2018 09:08

And she sounds the type to be a nightmare job share to be honest.

Ohmydayslove · 22/06/2018 09:08

Yes op that’s exactly what I would do and be very robust about it.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 22/06/2018 09:13

Although getting another person in to each work 3 days might seem like a logical solution I would wonder whether this is a technique they are using for managing her out if she is regularly difficult to deal with. I would just reiterate that you were recruited for those hours, you do not plan to increase your hours. If it continues then talk to your manager. If she was more co-operative then my approach would be different but I imagine that when the time comes and her dc are at school she will be the only one who needs half term off, the only one who needs Christmas off because your dc are older. It is about give and take.

MyKingdomForBrie · 22/06/2018 09:15

I agree it's totally unfair to call OP sneery. This colleague is trying to emotionally blackmail her into giving up a working arrangement that she applied for from the start of her contract, it's not a flexible working arrangement that one colleague has been given over another.

You can't take someone's position because you now prefer it to your own, due to your own life choices.

I would address this with your manager OP it's totally unfair.

CoughLaughFart · 22/06/2018 09:16

It's not fair that she can't choose to work part time. Everyone should have a chance if that's what they want to do.

Nonsense. It’s a business, not a ‘Follow your dreams’ workshop.

OP - I would put it in writing and copy your manager; that way if she keeps on and tries to claim she misunderstood in some way, you can prove otherwise. State very clearly that you are not having a ‘turn’ at being part-time - you have a part-time job that was always part-time and always will be. ‘Respectfully’ suggest that she refers any queries regarding her own hours, which are completely unrelated to yours, to her manager.

beachysandy81 · 22/06/2018 09:24

No - you were employed part time. She needs to either arrange something with management or get a new job. Sounds like you would prefer less hours too so maybe make that clear then they may consider a third employee and split the 8.5 days between you - say 3, 3, 2.5. However, it is not fair for her to keep going on about it to you as it is not your choice.

GetInMaBelleh · 22/06/2018 09:25

Let us know what happens OP

SoftBallSophie · 22/06/2018 09:28

'I took this job because it was part time, I have no interest in working full time. If you want to work part time perhaps you should look for another job, you can't have mine. Please stop asking me, I'm not going to change my mind. You don't want to have this conversation with you again.'

Teateaandmoretea · 22/06/2018 09:31

Of course yanbu.

I do find it very very strange though that they didn't make her aware when your job was advertised if she was on mat leave at the time.

Original poster
Urubu · 22/06/2018 09:32

I will GetInMaBelleh
I will do it orally instead of a formal email as I want to give her a chance to end this without getting our manager involved. I have nothing against her personally, I am sure she is just a bit self-centered and doesn't realize it is uncomfortable for me.

OP posts:
Blaablaablaa · 22/06/2018 09:41

@midnite when I managed a team it used really frustrate me when staff used to get together and find 'solutions' to workforce issues ... They rarely had an objective view or a true understanding of the bigger picture. There was also an assumption that we hadn't considered all the options.

Nobody has a right to dictate their working patterns to their employers. A good company will try to accommodate staff where possible but ultimately business needs must come first. If it doesn't suit you then you need to look for another job that does. Harsh but true. Just hiring another person is rarely that simple.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 09:43

She is ridiculous, you have both join the company under different contracts - her position has absolutely nothing to do with yours. it's not a school play ground, there's no "turn" in term of contracts! You take turn for holidays and possible shifts within a team, but you don't take turn on roles.

Her being offered a different job in the company, which it would be, has nothingto do with you. You do not have to make any changes.

If she wants a part-time role, she needs to ask the company and if they cannot accommodate, she can look elsewhere.

She is either a CF or not very bright, either way it's not your problem. Good luck dealing with that idiot, even on only 3 days a week.

OliviaStabler · 22/06/2018 09:43

I agree that you should shut her down as described.

She sounds like a bulldozer, that goes on and on and on and tries everything to get what she wants. You need to ensure she knows that her constant whining ends here. If she continues after that, then do follow up and email your manager and HR about the situation so you have a paper trail.

loopylass13 · 22/06/2018 09:45

If she just came off maternity leave, I am sure legally she can request part time work - I think she needs to look more into her rights as a parent. That being said, it is unfair that she expects you to switch with her and keep harpering on about it. I am a bit of a chicken so would likely email a polite note such as "I like working the hours I work and do not want increase. I appreciate the offer but continuing to talk about it is unfair because I feel like you are trying to talk me into it when actually the subject is not up for debate as I want my part-time arrangement to stay the same". Something a long those lines, likely politer. That way it is clear and also by using writing, you already have evidence of asking her to stop going on about it. If she persists then take to management.

FullMetalRabbit · 22/06/2018 09:48

If she just came off maternity leave, I am sure legally she can request part time work

Anyone can legally request part time work, maternity leave is irrelevant. Legally the company has to consider it but they don't have to award it.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 22/06/2018 09:49

she can ask part-time or flexible hours, the business doesn't have to agree. It might even come as a shock to her that part-timers are not paid the same as full-timers Grin

Omzlas · 22/06/2018 09:52

I'd email her so that you have a record of it:
"Thanks for speaking to me regarding part time hours. Unfortunately, while I appreciate your position, I am unable to alter my hours to accommodate yours. Please feel free to speak to X regarding a potential change to your hours

Regards
URUBU

Passingwords · 22/06/2018 09:52

You may have to add that you are not leaving and love your job- in case her plan is that you get so fed up you leave and she can apply for your role

IrmaFayLear · 22/06/2018 09:52

"Hire another person" is always the cry on such threads and real life.

At dd's primary school there was a tsunami of teacher pregnancies and every single person wanted to come back to work one day a week, because "Mary" did so there was a precedent. The Head had to really be the bad guy when she was telling them that it might be ideal for each of them, but would create chaos for the school and the pupils. One deluded person (or cf...) wanted to work from home!! She had the idea that she would do the "setting work" and some other schmuck would stand in front of the kids delivering said work.

AlbertaSimmons · 22/06/2018 09:58

When I was in a corporate job, a colleague came back from mat leave and requested (as was her right) to drop to 4 days. The company (as was its right) asked her to suggest a solution to the workload issue that her going PT would cause. her solution - Alberta will do it. I was working full time. Her "solution" was that I would in effect work 6 days and she would work 4 Hmm. She was quite put out when I said that wouldn't work for me...

thecatsthecats · 22/06/2018 10:00

Irma - wow, you've got me beat.

My CF was a woman who was constantly on a disciplinary notice, who would wait until it expired, loudly mouth off about wanting more hours and work slowly to make it seem like she needed more time.

When that 'genius' plan fell through, she tried to convince us to hire her for additional hours for a job she wasn't remotely qualified for that we weren't hiring for either.

In every single interaction, she acted as if what she wanted was the most important thing. OP's CF is doing the same thing.

Jeezoh · 22/06/2018 10:09

I’d actually email her before she raises it again to tell her that she needs to stop asking you to change your hours. Something along the lines of “I’m aware that you would like me to change my contracted hours to enable you to work part-time. However, I will not be doing this as my working pattern suits me and my family commitments. I’d appreciate it if you’d stop raising this subject with me as it is making me uncomfortable and I won’t be changing my mind.” Then if she persists, forward this email to your manager and ask them to raise it with her. From your description, it sounds like low level harassment that I’d nip in the bud.

WingsOnMyBoots · 22/06/2018 10:11

I've met this woman many times during my working life. They will complain loudly, day in day out, repeating their mantra because they know in the end it usually gets them what they want. They are very thick skinned and think they are more entitled and deserving than anyone else.

Stick to your guns.

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