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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this too much for a snack?

301 replies

SingingOutOfTune · 21/06/2018 17:02

My 12 years old gets home from school and has 3/4 Krisprolls with lots of honey and peanut butter and 2 small glasses of milk. This is around 4 pm. We have dinner around 8. Is this too much? I know he is growing and his weight is fine but I am a bit concerned. Can mums of teens on Mumsnet give me some perspective? Told him off today for having a second glass of milk and hated myself after. Don't like controlling what he eats but it seems excessive for a snack

OP posts:

mathanxiety · 21/06/2018 21:01

So many people think fruit is the be all and end all of nutrition, but it is not. Bananas and other fruits are sugars too. And they are not filling. He needs a filling snack. He needs to maximise his intake of protein and calcium and healthy grains/fibre.

You need to sit down and do some reading up on nutrition.
Your DS needs protein and calcium, and yes, carbs, plus vegetbles and some fruit. Whole grain carbs are the best option. But honey is fine too - PB on its own isn't that attractive, and your DS will miss out on its protein if he decides it doesn't taste good and doesn't eat it as a result.

You also need to get a hold of your anxiety about diabetes and heart disease. Letting that get the better of you is the one sure way to start your children on the road to an unhealthy relationship with food. You are right that eating habits start early - and you are wrong to think that eating habits are all there is to it. Anxiety about what others eat is very harmful.

Your DS will grow to his full adult height and bone density over the next few years. He will need huge amounts of healthy food. Think of what you might eat in a day and multiply that by 4 or 5.

Let him eat.

Gretol · 21/06/2018 21:01

Mine has baked beans and scrambled eggs and drinks almost a pint of milk when she gets in from school! Then has supper with us at about 7, she only has a small portion though. She'll also have a slice of toast and peanut butter and banana.

Today she didn't have eggs and beans, she had a huge plate of watermelon banana grapes and then an ice lolly!

Gretol · 21/06/2018 21:02

She's very fit, lean and tall.

NotUmbongoUnchained · 21/06/2018 21:02

We always try to eat before 7 as I think it’s not good for your digestion to eat too close to bedtime.

I think you sound a bit controlling. Buy healthy food and teach him about nutrition but let him make his own decisions. I was forced to eat healthy and monitor what I ate all the time and surprise surprise ended up with bulimia.

Flamingosnbears · 21/06/2018 21:06

If you worry about the milk give him water after his two glasses and give him fruit to snack on, perhaps bring the tea time down from 8pm it is rather late when you've been in school all day.

user1457017537 · 21/06/2018 21:07

Why don’t you let him have a proper tea when he come in from school. He can eat earlier than you and then decide if he wants dinner later.

OnlyBaBaBiss · 21/06/2018 21:07

I couldn’t deal with my toddler being up till 10pm - I need those couple of hours after his bedtime and before mine to recover from the day
Plus he would be hideous without his 11 hours

formerbabe · 21/06/2018 21:09

I couldn’t deal with my toddler being up till 10pm - I need those couple of hours after his bedtime and before mine to recover from the day

Same! I like a quiet evening in front of the telly to be honest!

Ethylred · 21/06/2018 21:20

It depends.
If he's fat, yes.
If he's thin, no.
(You say his weight is fine but there are many parents deluded on this subject. I have no way of knowing whether you are one such.)

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/06/2018 21:24

Of course 8pm dinner and 10pm bed isn’t late for an adult...peoples questions on here relate to the toddlers and children (stating the obvious)

mathanxiety · 21/06/2018 21:34

Children all over Europe eat at 8 and go to bed later. It's not written in stone anywhere that the British way of doing things is the right way.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/06/2018 21:38

What amazes me is that everybody is horrified at the idea that kids might feel peckish or even hungry for a few hours. That's ok you know. When I was a kid it was perfectly normal to be starving for your tea. Snacking was unheard of and most people were healthier than we are today. Feeling hunger is ok. It won't kill anyone. Even a kid for a couple of hours.

littleducks · 21/06/2018 21:42

The replies are this are odd. There is an obesity epidemic loads of parents say their kids eat fine and aren't fat when they really are.

Mother comes on here for advice as it's confusing to know what and how much to feed kids and is accused or starving him.

Also if the toddler doesn't have breakfast til 9am and goes to bed at 10pm and afternoon nursery sessions I'm guessing they aren't an early riser

Original poster

SingingOutOfTune · 21/06/2018 21:52

BitOutofPractice this exactly how I feel. Snacks are just to take the edge of the hunger and keep you going up to the main meal. Not to fill you up.
Answering to another post I like reading about nutrition and my issue with milk is that many blame milk as factor on childhood obesity as children keep drinking milk with every meal well past infancy. Bananas releases energy slower than honey as I understand.

OP posts:

Gretol · 21/06/2018 22:18

God I wish milk was an issue! Its all the crap squash and fizz that's an issue!

The OPS son isn't a toddler not sure what toddlers ha E got to do with anything

Gretol · 21/06/2018 22:20

I agree it's fine for kids to be hungry, however mine eats a rubbish snack lunch so basically needs a decent meal when she gets in (does tons of sport)

BitOutOfPractice · 21/06/2018 22:21

Op for what it's worth I think you're wrong about milk. Its a low fat high protein snack with lots of calcium and vitamins.

I think you're right you say that a snack should be just that. A snack. Not a full blown meal. Just to take the edge off and that being hungry for your dinner is perfectly normal and healthy. Feeling hungry seems to have been demonised today. And I'm quite clearly not taking about people who go hungry from lack of food / money to buy food. I'm not belittling that at all. I've experienced that myself. Im talking about MNers who constantly top their kids up in utter horror that they might feel even peckish. The amount of times the 3YO referenced on this thread ate in a day is frankly ridiculous and obscene. Totally unnecessary.

mathanxiety · 21/06/2018 22:21

When you are a 12 year old boy, you are hungry all the time. 'Taking the edge off the hunger' doesn't come into it. My DS ate like a trooper for six solid years - I honestly do not know where he put it all at each meal and snack. He grew like a weed. His feet topped out at the biggest size before custom-made-shoes-territory.

Boys of 12 need lots and lots of nutrition. Quantity is the name of the game.

Your responses and assumptions indicate quite a rigid approach to food.

I think you need to reassess your thinking here.

mathanxiety · 21/06/2018 22:26

Answering to another post I like reading about nutrition and my issue with milk is that many blame milk as factor on childhood obesity as children keep drinking milk with every meal well past infancy. Bananas releases energy slower than honey as I understand.

Childhood obesity is not the problem when we are talking about a 12 year old boy on the cusp of puberty. He is about to start growing exponentially - shooting up. He needs lots and lots of food, lots of milk. He doesn't need sugar to tide him over. Give him protein and calcium (both found in milk but he needs other sources of calcium, and iron too).

He also needs a certain amount of exercise.

Please stop thinking of him as a child. He could grow a foot in the next year. He could be shaving by Christmas.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/06/2018 22:27

Gamerchicj he's not being "starved" for 8 hours. To start with most school kind dd Toby eat before 1:15-1:30. Then he's eating Shiism at 4. So that's 2.5 hours. Then dinner 4 hours later. Maximum 4 hours. You make it sound like he's manacled to a radiator Ruth nothing but water all day. Do he's hungry for dinner? So what? It won't kill him. It's all those empty between meals calories that are causing obesity on my opinion

BitOutOfPractice · 21/06/2018 22:28

Oh god the typos. I'm in bed and left my glasses downstairs

Maybe I have low blood sugar. Not eaten since 7;45

mathanxiety · 21/06/2018 22:35

It's mindless shoveling of crisps, biscuits, and crackers into faces while sitting watching tv that causes obesity, drowning foods in oil while cooking, lathering everything with butter, and drinking sugary drinks (fizzy drinks of all sorts and also squash and fruit juice) plus sugar in tea and coffee. Takeaway is another big culprit - many takeaway favourites are heavy on the fat. People don't notice how much sugar there is in ketchup either.

mathanxiety · 21/06/2018 22:35

AlonsosLeftPinky · 21/06/2018 22:38

There's nothing wrong with milk. I put a straw in a pint of milk every day for a mid morning snack.

At 12 you know when you're hungry and it's not like he's gorging on Mars bars and monster munch.

Banana8080 · 21/06/2018 22:46

Dinner at 8 is very late in my book! I’d be starving but when, it full of snacks

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