To ask WTF I should do with my life...

[Fruitbat1980]

12 month ago I left a super stressful mental very highly paid job in IT. It nearly pushed me to the brink. Like literally I was a tough nut (I thought) and I started to lose it.
So with DH support (he is awesome) I quit, and have spent 12 months as a SAHM.
My DS goes to school in September, I always knew this was coming, and to be frank I need to get my ass out there and earn a living! As both the bank account (priority), and my mental health (secondary as far as I’m concerned as I’m now on an even keel and got away from the awful job with 7 hour a day commutes...)
So, what do I do? Agh. I have thought, and thought, and thought, till my head hurts. I’m pretty intelligent I like to think (first class honours etc) but I’m now the bad side of 35. I’d love to do something new? But fear I won’t make a decision and will end up going back to IT as it’s all I’ve ever known!
Help! So far my ‘I wouldn’t mind...’ jobs are;
Teaching (secondary), police (am I too old) paramedic, tea shop, b&b, French gites (yes move abroad), catering college/ kitchen work. Open a new soft
Play (spent a huge amount of time in crap ones the last 12
Months), buy a pub. I know I know mental. My head is all over the place. Aibu to ask you wtf I should do with my life? If you had to start again what would you do? Where would u start?

Out of your list teaching and paramedic seem to be the most rational ones.

travel the world doing odd jobs here and there funding my way round.

but teacher or term time nursery is pretty good. and no worries about childcare in the holidays.

Without wanting to sound blunt, I'm not sure being a paramedic is for you - it's a high stress career with shift work. If your mental health has already suffered, I can't see being a paramedic would do you any good. Would require you to do another degree also.

There are loads of jobs you simply won't know about unless you're already in that industry! How about something like data analysis, you can do that in loads of industries or police or local govt etc?

What do you enjoy doing? Talking to people, solving puzzles/problems, making sure things are factually correct, seeing injustices solved, providing a service? You'd be surprised at how examining what you like doing might help you focus on the sort of job you'd like - where you would find this job would then be the interesting part!

@nosleepnosense that’s the kind of pointer I need! I love data analysis, I am a excel whizz and love spreadsheets 🙈 but I also love people, essentially my previous role was crisis management & customer relations (which I think is where the whole pull to police/ paramedic thing comes from)

If you’re a data whizz could you try marketing/sales analyst for a company or even a big charity? I work in the charity sector and all the big charities need people like you to analyse fundraising income etc. No job is stress free but it might be less hectic and the people could be nicer? Just a thought.

Could you set up as a sort of tech mentor to help get new business owners up to speed with managing their websites? Or build websites for new business owners?

Become self employed.
Work from home.
I became self employed when my kids were young jacked in a high pressure high paid job - I have never looked back.
Are your skills something that would lend themselves to working for yourself.
It has been fantastic to have such flexibility- and no commute, I can ramp up my workload when I have time and work less during school holidays.

Would you have the money to set up a soft play - rent; equipment; insurance; wages etc? Or to take a business proposal to the bank? It seems to me that the one near us is a licence to print money as it's always so so rammed. I've wondered idly about it myself but never looked into what it works - I've only done the fun stuff like picturing the themes I'd have/parties I'd offer 😃

• Sorry, what it would cost to make it work

Don't open a pub. Terribly difficult to make a profit. If you like analysis and are bright then what about developing that into data science? Growing field as large organisations increase focus on big data and analytics. You'd be dealing with numbers and data as well as your internal customers within the organisation. You would need to develop your skills more first though in that field. Or just look for the analyst type roles within an analytics team and then work your way across that way - it sounds like you probably have the right skills for that.

In order to become a paramedic you would need to go back to University for a degree. Same with teaching you would need to do your pgce although that is only a year and you can do it whilst teaching at some places. Have you the time/energy/money to do another qualification? Not saying you haven't but it's worth considering.

There have been several soft plays in my town and my neighbouring town that have set up, all have struggled and closed down in a year or two- no doubt losing money in the process.

I wouldn't set up a business that you need big set up capital.
There are easier ways that have much less risk.

You don't need a lot of money to set up a business- that is a myth.

I often recommend this personality test as an early step in deciding where people want to take their career. it doesn't suggest jobs but might give you valuable insight: assessment.globalblackswan.com/ it was scarily accurate for me!

If you enjoy crisis management and you're a data whizz, have a look at the civil service jobs website. Something like the Ministry of Defence or the Ministry of Justice might appeal to you.

You also need to think about your red lines. What's the maximum distance you want to commute? What are your maximum working hours? Bits like that will all help to filter your options

DO NOT GO INTO TEACHING! It is incredible stressful and you will spend more time looking after and worrying about other people’s choldren than your own. The holidays DO NOT make up for the hours that ‘term time’ requires and it is exhausting. I am a teacher and looking for other careers. The stats are 1 in 4 leave within the first 4 years. Look at something else.

*children

Read ‘What colour is my parachute’, see if it helps.

Also, what is a priority, for you? Close to home? School hours? Money?
Have a look at the jobs advertised in your area and see where it takes you. Good luck, you can do this!

Don't teach. It's not a good time to be entering that profession and it's virtually incompatible with having a family (or even any friends as there's no time). I left, because it was stressful and the bad bits began to outweigh the fun classroom bits.

We are always looking for people who are It literate at my place of work. The skills are in demand in our technical coordination teams, we take on programmers and infrastructure engineers. They work in tandem with all of us physicists and engineers.

Do NOT go into teaching. There's a reason teachers are all leaving the profession in drives. I wouldnt recommend it to anyone. Especially if you have suffered with metal health.

Unless you really really would love to, don't become a teacher. You need to be certain to be any use to the kids.

Just to add that whatever you do don't assume childcare gets easy when kids start school.
If you intend to work full time you and your OH will have to think about drop off and pick ups, school holidays, in service days, sick days.

As your DS gets older he may want to do after school activities which may involve lifts after school ( I know as the daughter of a dancer- she was dancing most days after school).

Childcare can actually get harder in the school years, not easier.
So do factor that in.

For me another reason to be self employed and work from home!

How on earth would you manage teaching? Go and read some of the threads in The Staff Room on MN!
Data Manager in a school might be what you're looking for, but the role varies hugely school to school. It's not particularly lucrative either.

i would scrap pub
scrap teaching
scrap softplay ( in my experience they all end up the same pretty much even if they start out with organic cakes )
apply some logic.
how much money do you need in your bank account and when? if the answer is soon/now you need a job.
what about something like auditing?
with an idea to do forensic accounting or the like further down the line?