To ask WTF I should do with my life...

[Fruitbat1980]

12 month ago I left a super stressful mental very highly paid job in IT. It nearly pushed me to the brink. Like literally I was a tough nut (I thought) and I started to lose it.
So with DH support (he is awesome) I quit, and have spent 12 months as a SAHM.
My DS goes to school in September, I always knew this was coming, and to be frank I need to get my ass out there and earn a living! As both the bank account (priority), and my mental health (secondary as far as I’m concerned as I’m now on an even keel and got away from the awful job with 7 hour a day commutes...)
So, what do I do? Agh. I have thought, and thought, and thought, till my head hurts. I’m pretty intelligent I like to think (first class honours etc) but I’m now the bad side of 35. I’d love to do something new? But fear I won’t make a decision and will end up going back to IT as it’s all I’ve ever known!
Help! So far my ‘I wouldn’t mind...’ jobs are;
Teaching (secondary), police (am I too old) paramedic, tea shop, b&b, French gites (yes move abroad), catering college/ kitchen work. Open a new soft
Play (spent a huge amount of time in crap ones the last 12
Months), buy a pub. I know I know mental. My head is all over the place. Aibu to ask you wtf I should do with my life? If you had to start again what would you do? Where would u start?

I think for some of the things you would need to 're train do you want to do this ? something to think about with being a paramedic is they will deal with horrible situations / death/ horrific accidents could you come with that? I would be reluctant to open up soft play or anything at the moment but what about freelancing in It for now while you consider your options more ?

If you’re sensitive to stress and pressure, NO to being a paramedic or police
Paramedic is mentally and physically arduous shift work.
police also physically and mentally arduous shift work,huge paperwork

Given what you’ve said about your mental mental health I’d advise against frontline jobs. I don’t think IT Crisis management is an adequate preparation for public sector frontline work

I think you’re still formulating what you want, your list is too eclectic too wide and a bit daft (sorry!) but you have said you're head is all over the place

Could you set up your own business:

Private tutoring
Book keeping
Book keeping courses?

Just a few thoughts, it also means you set the schedule so can be available for school holidays, sports days etc.

Childcare needs in school years needs a lot of planning if both FT workers
Unlike nursery were they only have xmas time off, school hols need managed
We use summer FT clubs and book well in advance
In school use after school
Also both being FT you will miss School events,eg sport day. No biggie but factor it in. Also budget for the summer clubs etc

I was in a similar position OP and went back into IT as a contractor.

It was the best decision ever. Working alongside colleagues doing the same job, but:

No stress.
No targets / performance management.
More pay.
Need to be organised about timesheets etc.
There's plenty of work out there at the moment and you only need to commit for the length of your contract.
You do have to factor in your tax and NI, sickness, holidays and pension provision.
You can go it alone with an accountant or use an umbrella company if the PAYE and expenses part scares you.

You have a head start with your experience, don't underestimate that. With all your other suggestions, you'd be back at square one and your earning power will be diminished for quite a while.

I do everything on a professional basis, given that I have a little less job security, but the positives make up for that.

How about getting a job in a school office and doing some accountancy qualifications and working up to being a school manager or bursar?

Please don't teach unless you love the thought of it! Teaching already has an awful lot of teachers who think it's a good idea for the 'holidays'.....which aren't holidays by the way.

The only natural career progression for me right now would be to buy a pub and I am extremely dubious about it. I have been in the trade all my life, live and breathe it, but instead i’m considering retraining.

Do not buy a pub.

Teaching would be ideal. No stress at all. Hours would fit around school. Long holidays to coincide with school. Decent pay.
Schoolchildren are all absolutely delightful and hardworking, their parents charming and supportive, and there would be no politics between the staff. Yeah right. Have a look in Staff Room.

You love spreadsheets, you're an excel whizz... just get an IT/accounts job nearer home.

Data analyst jobs in school academy trusts are a thing now. There's not loads around that pay a lot (50k+) but there's some and there will be more as time goes on. I don't know what your analysis skills are like but it might be worth a look.

A lot of those options aren't really realistic. Some are risky (setting up soft play or cafe etc) and I know loads of people who have always wanted to teach and have now quit as it's so stressful - unless you really want to teach it's not a good idea and paramedic is difficult with shifts and again stressful.
What about something like teaching admin at a uni? It's pretty well paid and sounds like you'd be good at it (loads of people interaction and loads of spreadsheets!) and the advantage that it's less busy during the school holidays

Sorry if I seemed flippant but all your suggestions sound stressful or a bit risky. I would look at the skills you have that are transferrable and consider the environment you'd like to work in. Include all skills and talents. 35+ is still young enough for a lot of things.
Have you read 'What color is your parachute' or similar?

You have had some good advice - I just wanted to add something. The situation you describe sounds very similar to what happened to me. I was made redundant from a very highly stressful job that I had resigned from twice (but coerced to stay) and was severely suffering from anxiety and I have since realised depression when I was then made redundant. I didn't work in that industry for 4 years and thought I would never go back. I spent 18mths of the 4 years working a basic admin job for a small local business part time. Zero pressure.

Out of the blue I was approached by someone in my old industry and to cut a very long story short I am now back doing something quite similar to what I was doing before. I have changed in that 4 years and set the pace of the job much better than I did before. I still have a bit of anxiety some days but I am very honest to my new employers of what I can handle and what I can't. They couldn't have been more accommodating. I am working with a lovely bunch of people and really enjoying the role despite vowing to never go back.

If I were you I would look at contracting as another pp suggests and not necessarily write off the industry or career you have come from. It is possible to go back to a slightly different role using the skills you already have and work for a company with less pressure.

I’d use the existing skills you have in a new context.

When you get to that ‘fuck this I cannot take this job a second longer’ point you tend to want a clean break but something about IT etc must have been enjoyable in the first place - it’s more likely the context you were working in was shit.

So how can you use your past career and existing skills in a different, less gruelling setting? That would be the question I’d ask.

There are many jobs working for police forces as staff rather than an officer.
A friend of mine works in the control room and loves it. It is shift work though.

Teaching really isn’t something you should go into because you ‘don’t mind it’. If you were pushed into stress by an IT job, teaching is likely to finish you off.

It's never too late to start a new career, or try something new. The fact that you've stepped away from the IT job shows that you're ready to try something new. So you're already halfway there! I homeschool my two kids and I absolutely love it. I feel like taking control of my children's education is the calling I was waiting for. I absolutely love planning lessons and taking feedback from them about what they enjoy learning and what they'd like to see less of. Obviously I understand they are children and I need to follow the curriculum. (!!!)

Anyway, my eldest has reached an age now where he is starting to ask the same sort of questions as you. We work through loads of online resources to find out what sort of options are available and what to expect from these jobs. Speaking to people and asking questions is really good to gain an insight into how you might find certain roles too.

Try this for inspiration to get you started.... icould.com/watch-career-videos/