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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leave 8 year old alone for 15 mins?

76 replies

verite · 20/06/2018 20:37

My DS (8) is currently unwell. If he is still off school, WIBU to leave him in bed while I take my DD to Nursery. It’s a 5 min walk so 15 mins max. I have never left him alone before but he is generally sensible and follows instructions.

OP posts:
Blizzardagain · 20/06/2018 21:05

If he's throwing up, no. Otherwise I probably would

Ginseng1 · 20/06/2018 21:06

I do my 8 yr old up to 20mins. She wants to be left n is usually a chance to get stuck on TV r tablet! Honestly u know your own child & if it's safe or not.

ShawshanksRedemption · 20/06/2018 21:07

If it were me (and I have two kids so it has been in the past) I would take him with me. You have to consider the risks and decide from there but it's your choice to make as the parent who's responsible as it's you who will be called to account in the (unlikely) event of anything going wrong.

Original poster
verite · 20/06/2018 21:09

Such mixed responses! My DH thinks I’m mad for even worrying about it, but I am a natural worrier. No neighbours who could keep an eye. My DH could take DD in but would have to wait and then be late to work. I think I might just take him with me just in case. Thanks for all your responses.

OP posts:
Butterflykissess · 20/06/2018 21:10

interesting reading this. as a single parent i always wonder how to get one kid to school if the others unwell.

EstrellaDamn · 20/06/2018 21:11

That is so cute @tillytoodles1

LtGreggs · 20/06/2018 21:13

I was regularly doing that with mine at 8.

Key thing is whether he is happy with the plan. Also if you would you worry if he was playing alone in another part of house & you didn't see him for 15 mins? If you pass both those tests, go for it.

Talk to him (generally) about what he would do in a disaster scenario - not just home alone, but what if you fell down stairs, what if he got separated from you while out, what if his sibling was hurt etc etc. It's all developing skills for coping & having more confidence about independence.

Doilooklikeatourist · 20/06/2018 21:13

I left mine at that age , not throwing up type unwell though .
Poorly tired type cold bug thing , left on sofa with instructions not to open door etc
They both survived

mishfish · 20/06/2018 21:13

I do if my 8 year old Mr Sensible son is off school and I need to take the others to nursery which is also 5 mins up the road. He knows not to answer the door, use the toaster or decide to have a bath and can face time me if he feels he needs to

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/06/2018 21:20

It depends on the child, but if he's sensible, I would always wake him up to let him know he's alone and leave him in front of the tv.

There can't be one right and wrong answer, it depends where you live, it depends on the kid. Some 5 year old will be ok, others will try to climb out of the window, some people have decent neighbours.

Missingstreetlife · 20/06/2018 21:21

If he knows your mobile number, and dad as back up if anything happened to or delayed you it's fine.

Kahlua4me · 20/06/2018 21:22

That’s excellent tillytoodles1 😀😀

Boredandtired · 20/06/2018 21:24

No. I would not do thIs. I would either stick them in the car or buggy or not take the younger one to nursery. Yes it is tricky juggling ill children and if you don't have a car or buggy available (and yes I have used a buggy with ill 9 yr old - but she is petite) then it is a bit rubbish, but I would not leave a child of that age alone at home under any circumstances.

SometimesMaybe · 20/06/2018 21:25

I would have thought that age 8 for a sensible child would be exactly the time to start to introduce this little bit of freedom and independence. 10/15 mins max building up to when they are 12 and can be left for fairly lengthy periods.

Butterflykissess · 20/06/2018 21:27

a buggy for a 9 yo?! Shock

TheFifthKey · 20/06/2018 21:27

I wouldn’t leave my 6 year old, but I could, if that makes sense, and I’m sure he’ll be fine at 8. With his head in a book/computer game/YouTube video he wouldn’t even notice I was gone.

Lindy2 · 20/06/2018 21:33

Yes. I think 8 is a wholly appropriate time to start being left for short periods.
I am shocked at how over protective some people are but I guess they would counter argue at how unprotective others are.
Children do need opportunities for gradual steps towards independence though and to me 8 seems a good age to start that process.

PenApple · 20/06/2018 21:33

I waited until 9/10 but I wasn’t in walking distance of school. However after my bil’s house went up in flames today due to electrical fault I’m going to go over fire emergencies again with them both before leaving again.

Ohmydayslove · 20/06/2018 21:33

A buggy for a 9 year old!!!Hmm

I was playing out aged 8 at the local park.

Seriously if an 8 year old feeling a bit poorly can’t be left for 15 mins honestly it’s insane. Special needs excepted.

user1486076969 · 20/06/2018 21:35

YANBU, yes of course it's ok.

Believeitornot · 20/06/2018 21:35

I am shocked at how over protective some people are but I guess they would counter argue at how unprotective others are

It’s because the kid is ill.... that’s different to an 8 year old who is fine and in good health.

My dd is 8.5 and I’ve started to think about whether he could be left home alone. I’ve let him pop to the shop with a friend down the road etc. But being home alone when young and ill just feels a bit different to me.

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 20/06/2018 21:37

DD would have been completely trustworthy, but is still too anxious at 10.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 20/06/2018 21:38

A buggy for a 9 year old!!!hmm
but I bet you would be fine for a 9 year old in a car? Why is it always acceptable for people to drive their kids everywhere, but god forbid some posters do not have a car and have to think of alternative ways.

Now I am not sure how you'll fit a 9 year old in most buggies, but that's another issue

mirime · 20/06/2018 21:39

I was left on my own for an hour or so at 7 or 8 when I had chickenpox. No mobiles in those days either.

If he's pretty sensible, you trust him and he's alright with it's fine.

Ohmydayslove · 20/06/2018 21:40

But none of my kids at 9 would be seen in a buggy! They would refuse as its ridiculous.

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