that Topsy and fucking Tim makes me feel like a terrible parent

[EllebellyBeeblebrox]

Just that. The children are perfect, house is clean and tidy, parents are patient and calm, and everything is just so fucking NICE. Why doesn't anyone ever shout? Why is the mother always dressed impeccably and looks like she's had 12hours sleep and a blow dry? Why is there not an episode where mummy calls daddy a useless fucker for not putting the bin out?

Disclaimer-I have PMT

Topsy and tim must be 27 by now, surely???

Umm.... I love Topsy and Tim. Me and dd (10) treat ourselves to it when there is no-one around to see how childish we are (she has the excuse of actually being a child - but still probably not the target audience!).

I think it is a form of escapism. Nice things happen. They are having a lovely childhood. I like the house a lot. I think it looks lived in and friendly. I like the way that mum is relaxed with the endless visitors and dog etc. I don't like the 'double-wash your hands' bits - that doesn't fit my picture of their lives.

Recently when we were watching it and dd said 'do you think they are embarrassed to have to pretend to be littler', and I said 'oh, they are actors, so...' her mind was blown. So cool that they are both children and actors! (Dd loves acting but I don't think she had realised that children could do it for real, rather than just with parents in the audience!)

That was a bit of a random anecdote - sorry about that!

I can't stand Topsy and Tim, but for quite a different reason from most of you.

I can't stand it because I had (and adored) the books when I was growing up and a) Topsy and Tim don't look 'right', b)Topsy and Tim in the books were quite naughty/mischievous sometimes not the twee dullards the tv show has turned them into and c) in the books the kids were starting school and actually doing things with their lives not just stuck in the house all the time.

This is old, but I stand by it. laurasplog.blogspot.com/2014/08/topsy-turvy.html

Huh. They’re not even related, leave alone twins!

They're not perfect! Their Mother had an affair with Max Branning!

I must have missed that episode!

The house is an absolute mess. I do find the Mum ott. My lo enjoys it and I think it’s good for her to see the ‘twins’ behaving well, being polite etc.

@soupforbrains I absolutely adored Topsy and Tim in my childhood (90s). I can still remember the starting tune as it came on TV lol. I really miss them days

Oh and the mother in the 90s episodes had auburn hair, not brown/black like the one on tv lol damn I really miss my childhood that badly I am reminiscing

It grates the heck out of me that EVERY time any adult speaks to them they HAVE to say "Topsy and Tim" at the end of the sentence... real people don't use names every single time!! And don't get me started when Mum says "twintabulous" and similar!!

Just to be pedantic, it is the Pontypines in the Night Garden who keep losing the children (or palming them off on the neighbours, the Wattingers). The Tombliboos are still babies, by the look of them!

Ah yes when they say "topsy and tim" it really grates on me too. My kids aren't twins but I'd never call them x and y

@gottastopeatingchocolate yes I meant to say that earlier. The Tomiboos are the ones who keep losing their trousers (and have a house in a bush with quite cool Slides between all the floors)

I like the Hahoos they're so chilled out probably stoned

@MilkyCoffeeAndSkinnySyrup yes the Mum had red hair.

I think perhaps the fact that T&T were so pale skinned with almost black hair and blue eyes and their Mum was a red head with green eyes appealed to me (my family are Irish and we have a mixture of those two very Irish colourings) everything else was full of blondes or pecople with light hair and I couldn't relate.

I always thought T+T were puppets or something, because apparently the girl one is call Topsey. TOPSEY, ffs. makes copious vomiting noise

Ive said the same thing to my OH. A pile of washing up looked more appealing than sitting through another nauseating perfect twee show. I hated the moving episode bigger and better house with the estate agent turning up and bring put off by the stinky gym bag. With house prices the way they are dont think so. I read CBBC wanted to give a more balanced line up as people had complained that the home life of Topsy and Tim is out of touch with many kids hence why they commissioned Apple Tree House.

Google MN topsy and tim. The many drugs that people suggest Joy uses, no wonder she just smiles when they wreck her vase. And as for twatty bratty Tony Welch! He, tragic dad and that interfering smug granny should all drive off in dads dial a ride bus.

The fireman is quite fit though.

Known in our house as Drippy and Dim.

I loved the books when I was little. Not seen the cartoon. I know I loved the books because I insisted on naming my childhood cat Topsy, that we got when I was 4. She was a brilliant cat too.

Also, the episodes where they’re starting school and the ones with their 5th Birthday... those children are clearly at least 7yo!

I actually though she left eastenders to look after her kids full time because of this show.

All of them wreck head.

No one picks those two names to go together.

My mum is convinced she's having an affair.

There would be good money to be made in tipsy and whatever his name is after hours.

And why do they always full-name the friend who runs down batteries, breaks things and put his foot in it all the time?
M: "Tony Welch will be here soon Tim"

T: "yay, I really like Tony Welch"

T2: "Tim, Tony Welch is here!"

20 mins later...

T: "Mum! Tony Welch has run down the battery on my quad-bike and he knocked all of the cakes over and he accidentally stabbed Topsy with a carving knife!"

TW: ".............sorry"

M: "Oh that's OK Tony Welch, can you help me clean up the blood, then we can all have pizza!"

ALL and TW: "yaaaaaaay!!!"

Haven't seen it for a while since Gdd has gone off it (Fireman Sam and Masha and the Bear are current favourites) but personally I just found both kids and mother bloody annoying! Yes, it's oh so tweely cosy, but that's very little kids' programmes for you.

You don't see Mummy Pig yelling, 'Shut up, you little sods!' either.

And the T&T house is so beige!

One day, someone will make "topsy and Tim, the teenage years".
Topsy will be a drug addled teenage mum, with multiple boyfriends, while Tim will be a gang member, dealing drugs to Tony Welch. Mum will be a violent alcoholic, as the continuous voice-over broke her, and dad will have left and shacked up with an 18 year old, having left a trail of abandoned children behind him.

@whitelisbon

Now I'd watch that haha

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER - you need to watch Peppa Pig Scottish Dub on YouTube!

@FloydWasACat- I feel even more sorry for the younger Welch. "Tony Welchs Baby Brother Jack" seems to be his full name, the poor bugger!