Sister-in-law problems

[BeanJen]

Quite a simple one this, my sister-in-law told my husband she was pregnant and told him not to tell me until she said so. (She said she wanted to tell her husband's parents first). Obviously my husband told me straight away, we don't keep secrets from each other, does anyone in a marriage? I would always assume that anything I said to my sister might be shared with my brother-in-law.
I just feel like instead of being happy for them (they've been trying for a while) I'm now just pissed off that she's causing more problems in my marriage (the reason we're not getting on at the moment is that she keeps pouring poison in my husband's ear about our relationship) I'm not normally a petty person at all I'm just really annoyed. any opinions welcome 😊👍🏻

I don't agree that it should be assumed that you tell your partner everything even if specifically asked not to. If that's your view, you should at least say, no, we don't work that way, I tell them everything so don't share anything you don't want them to hear with me.
This particular thing isn't about you and your SIL had every right to ask that you didn't find out yet. That isn't "disrespecting your marriage", it's respecting her privacy.

If dh told me something like this and then told he he had said he would keep it in confidence I would loose respect for him.

Friends tell me things I don’t share with op if they ask me not to.

How horrible that you are a couple so untrustworthy to your friends and family

BeanJen*
I have told her how happy I am for her and kept my feelings on the matter to myself.

So despite her asking her DB to keep it to himself, and despite him telling you, you make damn sure she knows you know! How attention seeking are you??

@Rachie1973 I think you missed the part where I mentioned that she told him she could tell me yesterday. And only after that did I congratulate her with all the excitement of a new auntie-to-be. Not only did I not tell her I knew before hand, I was extremely nice to her. I'm not interested in starting a fight with her over something this small, nor would I ever ruin her pregnancy moment despite us not getting on great at the moment. I always choose the high road no matter how a person has made me feel.
Apology accepted x

'She told him HE could tell me. Didn't bother telling me herself mind.

So sil told dh yay I’m pregnant please could you keep quiet and not tell anyone until Tuesday after I’ve told mum and dad? I don’t see a problem with that, did her last pregnancy go well just with you saying they’ve had problems

How is she poisoning your relationship?? What’s she saying to him? Are they very close?

Thankyou @ilovegin112 you sound sane. Haha. No her last pregnancy was fine.
The last issue we had was I went out for the third time since our daughter was born (she's 10 months now-I really don't go out much) to a family event. We weren't due to be around that weekend we were supposed to be visiting her but my daughter was poorly with D&V and because she also has a LO I said we would come the following week and I didn't want to pass it on to her family. Husband was fine with me going out to family do and happy I was getting out for once. When I got back DH had been chatting with his sis who had told him how awful I was for going out and how I had used the whole thing as an excuse to not go to them. My DH is easily swayed by his sister and despite him seeing our LO poorly in the flesh he had a massive go at me about how selfish I was. She's also always trying to get him to make me move closer to them. I'm very happy where we are and have my mum and my sister just round the corner. She guilt trips him about them not seeing our DD very often (they never volunteer to visit us we always have to go to them) and basically is always telling him how crap I am. I feel like the pregnancy thing is just another straw on an overloaded camel. She asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. We were really quite close, but she's really turned on me recently.

Interesting how many people think the OP's SIL isn't culpable.

If someone tells me something and then says "don't talk to your spouse about this", I'll think "fuck that". Controlling freaky behaviour, bah.

She does sound batshit, I would be quite pleased that you didn’t come anywhere near me with d&v

If someone tells me something and then says "don't talk to your spouse about this", I'll think "fuck that". Controlling freaky behaviour, bah.

I would say demanding your spouse share everything with you, even when specifically asked not to do so, is pretty damn controlling.

Just read your updates. Your SIL sounds like a shit stirrer so i can see why you don't like her but she can only cause trouble if your husband lets her. You say your a partnership, well its not much of a partnership if he turns on you so easily.

You say hes easily swayed but that's just giving him a free pass to be a dick. Hes a grown man not a child ffs. Wheres his loyalty to you and your marriage? As soon as his sister started sagging you off he should have stopped her and defended you. Instead he listens to her and then attacks you for having a rare night out.

And why is his sister so comfortable talking shit about you to him? I cant stand my brothers wife but id never say anything bad about her to him because i know he'd snap at me. Hes very protective of her and so he should be.

Im not surprised your marriage is in trouble. Your husband sounds like a twat