Diabetic child and mother in law.

[Booie09]

My DC is a type 1 diabetic so today before they did a sporting activity after school they had their finger tested and a biscuit was given to keep her levels stable, after they had finished I checked again and her levels were slightly above what they should be anyway they asked for a snack and I said no because their levels would rise and they would be eating dinner within the next hour anyway they got upset and they left for hone with MIL. When I arrived home my DC said that I had made them Angry and upset that I had refused them a snack to which my MIL replied I took them in the shop and bought them some sweets but said they can't have them now but can have them with dinner Aibu to be pissed off that I look like the bad guy again!!

I feel very differently about, and don't agree with the 'demonise diabetes'.

Peoples variants of a medical condition are a huge spectrum.

I've had it since aged 1, which I think makes it easier because I've never known anything else.

One lady has cancer, but after a short period of chemo she's ok. Some people have epilepsy/hay fever so badly and others not do much.

My diabetes is so "challenging and we find you interesting and stimulating Mrs Oblomov " said a panel of top UK diabetic consultants.

Other diabetics I've met at dafne courses or specialist pump clinics and conferences are shocked at how difficult my diabetes is to manage. Wow they say.... I've never seen that before, next met anyone who has it that badly ......

Because I have one of the biggest Dawn phenomenon they've seen. My diabetes is brittle and un-patternless : on Monday on I go low at 8.30, on Tuesdays I go low at 8.30 and then whoosh on Wednesday I go sky high.
And they don't know why. And After 15 years of examining my pump data and also having me on a machine that takes my Bloodsugars every three minutes 24 hours a day for seven days = still none the wiser.

So, don't think that diabetes can be necessarily always be controlled, pacified. My requires respect, because it really is a demon!!

Thorsbitontheside Thanks for the tip. We use glucose tablets. It gets them up pretty fast but 10 minutes seems a lifetime to them! I haven't tried the glucojuice but I'm going to find some and try it. If it can work faster than the tablets that would make my kids very happy

Oblomov18 I think maybe you are misunderstanding. By not demonising diabetes I don't mean you just have to get it under control. I mean not blaming stuff on diabetes where possible and not letting my kids see it as a gigantic hassle (even if it is...I know using the word hassle is really underplaying it but that's the attitude we like to take). It may be different with your particular case, but as you've said, yours is a highly unusual case where all the usual diabetic treatment doesn't work...which means the usual attitudes might not apply. Doesn't mean that I don't think the "don't demonise diabetes" attitude is a good general attitude to have.

My kids have had Type 1 since they were 1 and 2 years old so don't know any different. I am also very aware of how differently diabetes can present in different people as my two kids have really different diabetes. DS also has coeliac disease and epilepsy so that probably helps make his a little trickier.

We don't want our kids to think that they are missing out on heaps because of their diabetes (or the coeliac or epilepsy). So where possible I don't blame diabetes for preventing them from doing stuff. For example, when we have to do diabetes related medical appointments during school hours (which DD hates as she loves school) I always take the kids out for lunch. That way they think it's awesome to get a special treat rather than resent having to wait ages in a waiting room then sit bored while adults discuss their blood sugar levels. Another example is that I don't tell DS that the reason I watch him umpire basketball is because I'm worried he'll have a hypo during the game. I tell him I enjoy watching him and tough luck if he doesn't want me there. I'd rather that he think "stupid Mum is so annoying" rather than "yet again diabetes is screwing my life up".

We also have diabetes anniversary parties to celebrate the anniversary of their diagnosis. So once a year they can make it into a positive thing and laugh at their non-diabetic siblings for not getting a diabetes party.

So by not demonising diabetes I mean that I try not to allow them to see diabetes as something that is always crap and unfair and limits their ability to enjoy life. As they get older of course they will know how crap it is, but I hope to give them a good attitude about how to handle it so they see it more as a side issue rather than something that defines their life in a negative way.

Ahhh. Maybe we are mis-understanding the words eachother is using.

My mum too always installed in me that it wasn't going to stop me doing anything. I don't introduce myself and go:
"Hi, my name's Oblomov and I''m a diabetic...."
I don't have 'Diabetic' tattooed on my forehead!!
People have said to me that they never knew I was a diabetic till I told them, and that makes me happy.

And to be fair, as my mum tried to instil in me that it wasn't going to stop me doing anything I wanted - it hasn't, in many respects. I've gone travelling round the world and had 2 children for starters!!

However I don't agree with downplaying it so much so that you are minimalising it's significance. Why not be honest about your reason for watching his basketball? Bet he already knows!

It IS a major hassle. because it effects almost every single decision you make, multiple times per day:
actually remembering to test, not at 9.30am, but at 9.45am, and not get distracted doing some other work, pre your meeting with the accountant (you want to appear professional and don't want to be going low in very important meetings - so shall I deliberately run a bit higher this morning?)
thinking ok so I'm 5.4 but I'm going to consume 20 grams of slow release carbs, but I'm then walking to colllect ds2 from school so shall I take 1.5, or should I err on the side of caution and only go for a bolus of 1.0?
........

How is that not a HASSLE?

There are only a few medical conditions that are as intrusive as T1 diabetes.
You never get a day off. You can't send it for a week with the grandparents!!

You make many subconscious and Also many deliberate decisions, many many many times per day, in order to try and control it.

And although mine is quite tricky, and brittle, I'm certainly not that unusual.

nearly EVERY diabetic I've ever talked to both in person and online, say on the Diabetes uk online forum, says the thought process is the same. It can't be any other way.

Maybe that's why there are so many misconceptions about diabetes because it's downplayed...I have good conversations with my daughter and tell her that she can do and achieve anything...but it's constant as the previous poster said you can't just say let's not bother today!

It sounds like you're doing an amazing job of managing a shitty, shitty condition, OP.

Oblomov18
I agree with ChocolatePanda it's not downplaying. Parents of children with T1 know full well the seriousness and implications of the condition however we have to try and enable our DC to live a full and worry free life as much as possible. No-one wants an anxious child, terrified of the implications of high bgs. Frightened of going low or trying new things.
I'm pretty sure my 8 year old DD will find out soon enough the full crappiness of T1 in due time. She's already had a class mate tell her she will go blind and lose a leg when she grows up because she's diabetic. She's also been called fat and told she must have eaten loads of sweets - she's as skinny as a rake btw!
So for now its a balancing act - I give her age appropriate information and try to be as positive as I can be whist trying to teach good management to hopefully enable good future control.
Everybody with T1 is different but as you've said you never get a day off. It's relentless. I don't want my DD to have to face that just yet ( although I think she probably does).