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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I over reacting?

55 replies

Lurkingnow · 19/06/2018 16:42

I've named changed because this could be possibly outing.

Sorry for the essay Blush

Last week some who I work with caused me to have a panic attack.
He basically blocked my only exit & placed a lot of heavy cages (in warehouse) around me & locked them together so I was unable to get out/move them. I thought he was just joking but then he actually left me there & didn't come back so I was stuck! I ended up quite upset (as claustrophobic) someone managed to get me out afterwards.

His manager had a word & although I didn't make a formal complaint he told him he could have been in serious trouble if I had.
He apologised & said he was mortified that he made me cry but it was actually really funny.Hmm
We made amends & it was a joke that went too far.

Yesterday the 1st thing he said to me was "I thought about buying you a rape alarm, but forgot" then laughed.

I told him that it was a pretty insensitive thing to say & it wasn't funny.
He KICKED OFF! Swearing, saying I was being dramatic & I was just too delicate, didn't know how to take a joke. Then he told me to fuck off.
Bear in mind this all happened where customers are present. So someone could have over heard everything.

I feel like quitting my job, I'm dreading going to work tonight because he'll be there. Sad

Was I right to have called him out on what he said? He's literally making me doubt myself.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/06/2018 16:44

You need to report him. At best he is a bully.

SenoritaViva · 19/06/2018 16:44

You need to turn this into a formal complaint t now. You should have done previously.

There is no way you are over reacting.

SenoritaViva · 19/06/2018 16:45
Flowers
MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 19/06/2018 16:46

He is awful. Definitely make a formal complaint. He sounds unhinged and like he could become quite frightening.

Caribou58 · 19/06/2018 16:46

Formal complaint.

Haberpop · 19/06/2018 16:47

You were right to call him out on it, he sounds a very unpleasant character, I think I would be putting in a formal complaint now.

Justanothernameonthepage · 19/06/2018 16:47

Formal complaint. He was lucky you didn't push for one before.

clumsyduck · 19/06/2018 16:49

Formal complaint . What a prick !!

We do stupid shit like this at work however if anyone thought for one second they had gone to far then the joke / prank would stop and the person would be mortified and not get defence of told they had gone to far

clumsyduck · 19/06/2018 16:50

Defensive if told *

yerbutnobut · 19/06/2018 16:51

Definitely not over reacting. I would make complaint, you should not have to tolerate this immature behaviour.

ReservoirDogs · 19/06/2018 16:51

Formally complain about both incidents.

Gazelda · 19/06/2018 16:53

Absolutely make a formal complaint. Will there b a manager at work when you arrive today? Will you feel safe from this bullying?

WigglyBlossom · 19/06/2018 16:54

Make a formal complaint. About the original incident and subsequent behaviour.

Original poster
Lurkingnow · 19/06/2018 16:54

We used to get on quite well, we would have a joke with others etc but something has shifted in his behaviour & he's crossed the line a few times when I add everything up now.
He has also hid expensive equipment that I use for my job & watched me search for it, which made me late getting home.

He regularly takes my paperwork & scrunches it up or knocks it off the side.

He's pulled my hair out from my bobble a few times.

He's thrown something at me which caused a bruise.

Jeeze written down now it sounds terrible but it was brushed off as jokes because he's always laughing. Sad

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 19/06/2018 16:55

Report all of it. He deserves to lose his job.

Jimmers · 19/06/2018 16:55

Another advocating formal complaint. For both incidents.
Makes me so mad when bullies minimise their behaviour with the whole “you’re too sensitive/dramatic” crap. Erm, no! You’re just a bully with no sense or self-awareness!

Jimmers · 19/06/2018 16:57

Cross post with you OP! Write everything down & put it in writing as a formal complaint.

Trampire · 19/06/2018 16:58

No way are you over reacting.

Go a write down everything you can think of and go back to your boss. The rape alarm joke in particular would be waaay beyond the line for me.

In a twisted way, do you think he's perhaps developed a little obsession with you? The knocking paper off and pulling your hair out reminds me of a horrible kid who somehow wants your attention?

Whatever it is, it's totally not ok and he needs to be stopped.

Good luck.

Sammymommy · 19/06/2018 17:00

I would have lost my shit at the first thing he's done. You were being nice to him

He is abusive and your management needs to stop him. Now. Make a formal complaint. Poor you Sad

smackbangwhollop · 19/06/2018 17:00

You need to report him A.S.A.P. It's not going to get better and it it's not directed to you it will be someone else. He has some serious issues going on and if they're not addressed soon he will become a menace because he gets away with it. This is totally unacceptable for anyone to be doing to another. Can you have a word with your line manager and just ask ' do you think it's acceptable and ask him/her what you should do'.

Original poster
Lurkingnow · 19/06/2018 17:08

There will be managers but from other departments. I don't see mine often. Opposite shifts etc.

I just know it will be brushed away as a joke if I say anything. His department is mainly guys so there's a heavy "lad behaviour" mentality, what ever that is.
I'll be known as the person who can't take a joke in the work place, I felt like every one was staring yesterday because of what happened last week as one of the guys went round & told other colleagues how it was hilarious.

OP posts:
OutComeTheWolves · 19/06/2018 17:12

So I may be projecting here, but I've lost track of the number of people who choose someone to banter with (or bully depending on your perspective) and then have a go at the person on the receiving end for 'reacting wrong'. It's always the fault of the person who 'can't take a joke' and never that of the bullying turds are incapable of reading a situation or making a funny joke in the first place.

Report the fucker or he'll just carry on - you've made it clear you don't like it and he's made it clear he doesn't care.

CountArthursgroupie · 19/06/2018 17:15

This behaviour isn't acceptable, and you don't have to put up with it. Do you have a union rep?

HollowTalk · 19/06/2018 17:16

You need to put it in writing. They always take it more seriously if you do that. Ask for a response in writing, too.

TakeawayTakeMeAway · 19/06/2018 17:20

Honestly, I think you are UNDERreacting to this very odd behaviour.

It’s not that you don’t know how to take a joke, it’s that he doesn’t know how to MAKE a joke.

Deprivation of liberty is not “hilarious”. Unless you are a psychopath that is.

Don’t put up with this Flowers

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