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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my neighbour weird

122 replies

aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 15:45

Not my direct neighbour but our back garden backs on to his driveway. Since we moved in 2.5 years ago he's always been overly interested in what we're doing, will speak to us through the fence in the garden at any given opportunity, ask quite personal and nosey questions when doing so, he somehow (and I have absolutely no clue how) knows what my husband does for work and WHERE he works (we are very private people, don't really talk to any neighbours). He makes me feel quite uncomfortable, I cant put my finger on why but he just does, he's quite an intimidating character. We have been burgled twice since we've lived here, as have about 20 other houses on our street (just garages broken in to and the odd door lock picking attempt) but his house has never been tried. He also brings up the burglaries in conversation at very random times (when peeping through our garden fence etc and he always mentions it first). We've added height to the fences so he can no longer see through as easily, but it doesn't stop him trying. He also sent a tree surgeon to my house to enquire about chopping the top off of a tree at the end of my garden, he didn't speak to us before he arranged for them to visit so I just politely declined and said the tree was fine as it. This afternoon I've had a visit, literally seconds after I got home from work, from a man I have never seen before saying 'i've spoken to your Dad about some flooring' (it's just me and DH living here) and 'I'm certain it's this address i've got a text to confirm it'. I was clueless so sent him away, only he drove further in to the cul-de-sac rather than out of it. 15 mins passed and he still hadn't driven back out of the road so I took the dog for a walk to see where he'd got to, and low and behold he's parked on my strange neighbours drive talking to him. AIBU to think he's sent this person to my house for some reason and is just a bit of an oddball in general (it's not like the house numbers could have been mixed up, we are number 5, he is number 32)? I'm thinking of popping round there later on to ask who the 'flooring man' was and why he stopped at my house?

OP posts:
Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 16:31

I’m not very confrontational so even going round there was a huge step for me. I wish I’d asked how he knew where we were holidaying, but if anything at least now he knows I’m on to him if he is a dodgy character I suppose

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TomHardysLittleWeener · 19/06/2018 16:32

I would invest in some thick shrubs and avoid him from now on. Very weird how he didn't want to be associated with the tradesman... some strange folk out there!

Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 16:32

I only have a Facebook page which is as private as private can be, I don’t put my hometown or where I work on there and only direct friends can see what I post (hardly anything anyway). DH and I have LinkedIn but it tells you if someone’s viewed your profile on there and also not sure he’d even know our first names let alone surnames to search for us (although he prob does know Confused)

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DragonMummy1418 · 19/06/2018 16:34

Sounds suss... is it him that's robbing you and getting info from you? 😮 I'll be highly suspicious.

DragonsAndCakes · 19/06/2018 16:34

Is your internet password protected? I don’t know exactly how he’d access stuff if it isn’t but I wonder if there is a way.

Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 16:36

Ooo dragons I didn’t think about the internet password. That’s a bloody scary thought. Also wondered if there’s any way for him to hack our CCTV as we have a couple of indoor cameras and sometimes I think the only way he’d know some of this stuff is by listening to our conversations! I’m sure I’m just going nuts though haha.

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DearMrDilkington · 19/06/2018 16:38

Is it possible he overheard you mention Amsterdam while you were talking about it to someone in your garden?

If not make sure all your social media pages are completely private.

Troels · 19/06/2018 16:53

Where is your Wi-Fi box located?
I want to Ds's new house when he moved in and went to connect my phone and saw he had his on the window sill, the password was facing the world, anyone could have walked up to his front window and read it. I moved it and told him.
Has he had access to the house before you lived there? Could the place be bugged somehow?
It's all very strange.

Filzma · 19/06/2018 16:54

Maybe husband mentioned it to him?

Troels · 19/06/2018 16:55

Start talking with Dh in the garden and in the house about fictional stuff, holiday plans People coming to stay, plans for remodel etc all not happening, see what happens.

Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 16:56

troels

Wi-fi box is as hidden as it can be, I do have a Wi-fi password sticker on a unit in the hallway but you’d have to be at the front door to see it and it’s pretty small writing, although not impossible! Also very possible that he has been in the house before we moved here. Writing all this down is making me want to move lol

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Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 16:57

DH thinks he’s very odd too and would never mention private details to someone he didn’t know, he’s even more private than I am when it comes to strangers.

Love the idea of fictional conversations!

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InvisibleLlama · 19/06/2018 17:01

Actually, you can view profiles anonymously on Linkedin.

InvisibleLlama · 19/06/2018 17:02

Change the wi-fi password to "Fuck off Nosey weird neighbour" just in case :)

poopsqueak · 19/06/2018 17:05

Yes, if you have a premium account on Linkedin you can look at peoples profiles anonymously.

I would be quite worried about the information he knows about you. Its quite unnerving.

You could do what celebrities do to weed out people who are selling their stories; tell different people on the street different stories, chat about things in your garden, chat about things over fb with your dh. Which ever he brings up you will know the origin of that information.

redlittlesquirrel · 19/06/2018 17:06

I have LinkedIn but it tells you if someone’s viewed your profile on there

Not necessarily - there is a profile setting that will keep you anonymous when you look at other people's profiles.

I would be concerned re indoor cameras if he knows things he definitely shouldn't know - I watched a "true life" film a few years ago where a couple moved in and their neighbour seemed to know all about them, including things that they had definitely not spoken to him about. It turned out he had managed to put cameras in the house (I think it was through a shared loft) and had been spying on them (well, her, mainly) - obviously not what's going on but it has made me -paranoid very wary about these kinds of things!

SofieMonde · 19/06/2018 17:14

Very odd and suspect! Is he recording your conversations somehow? He must be having a look at your SM.

Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 17:22

I’ll keep in mind the LinkedIn thing, although that would only tell him where we work and not the other info he seems to know. I don’t think I could possibly post any less on Facebook, I never write a status and just keep it active to private message family in other countries. Will have dinner in the garden tonight and make up a fake holiday with DH 😂

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Sophisticatedsarcasm · 19/06/2018 17:31

He sounds a bit weird although it could be that he’s just extremely nosey, does he live by himself? My neighbour is a nosy bastard, he always asks shit loads of questions, and comes out to clean his gutters just to see what we are doing in our garden. We tend to keep to ourselves aswell, we are friendly but not the sharing type, we are pretty evasive when it comes to sharing. It is a bit weird his was the only house not burgaled but then maybe the people that did it know he’s weird so haven’t bothered. Several houses near us have been burgaled including our other next door neighbour but we haven’t.

Original poster
aliceinchunderland1 · 19/06/2018 17:34

I thought maybe he was just extremely nosey and didn’t really understand boundaries etc, he lives with his wife and young daughter. I’d say he’s late 30s at the oldest.

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Supermagicsmile · 19/06/2018 17:39

Oh wow! The way you were describing I assumed he was an old man. Makes it seem more creepy that he's younger Blush

eddielizzard · 19/06/2018 17:47

i would set him up and see if he is listening in on you. say something like 'ooh looking forward to going to greece' and then talk about greece a lot. see if he mentions it. tell a different lie in the garden eg. what you're doing for xmas. try to pinpoint where he's getting the info from. change the password on your wifi. scan your computers for spyware.

worstmotherintheworld · 19/06/2018 17:58

Do you have a baby monitor that he could be listening in on? When we had one I would sometimes be able to hear other people very clearly.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 19/06/2018 18:06

Sounds daft but do you shred documents? As your neighbour he has access to your bins so if you had any documents referring to your holiday and where you work etc that might be where he is getting some of his info

sausageandsquit · 19/06/2018 18:08

This is really odd op. Can you both change your email passwords in case he's somehow got access to those? Also change the WiFi passwords. Do you have any IT savvy friends who would be able to make sure everything on that front is secure?