Sailing boat

[LovelyBath77]

DH is into sailing. He has done up a little Lysander (kit boat from the 1960s). It looks lovely, we go sailing on it around Poole and Brownsea island, which is fine and the boys love it too.

Now, he is thinking of getting another one. This time it is a Folkboat en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nordic_Folkboat which is a bit bigger. Which I think is nice, it is not expensive either as he plans to get a sound one and do it up like the other one.

The thing which worries me though is he seems to have quite ambitious plans for us going e.g. across the channel, to Guernsey, the Isle of Wight and Holland! I am stressed about this, AIBU?

I'm happy enough pottering about on the small one and feeling really stressed about it.

bump for any sailing people perhaps

Has he done navigational and VHF courses because if not it would be a big no-no for me until he had. It's madness to me that you can't drive a car without a license but you don't need any qualifications in order to sail.

Mmm.
Has he got a willing pal?
Will the boat be comfortable and up to your standard inside?
You could just try a small overnight excursion and see how you feel.
You have my sympathies op.
I have already muttered fucking boats under my breath this morning

It does look lovely but perhaps a little snug.

Yes to doing the courses. My husband has done them all and I would trust him to sail to the places you mention but there is a lot to take into account - weather of course but also tides, navigation etc. I would also recommend doing some guided night sailing as well - just in case!

In the sense that it's doable in that size of boat then it's viable but I'd want him to have done an RYA day skipper course and VHF (possibly GMDSS as well).

Hi yes he has done a course, I think the day skipper one. I wonder if the yacht master one might be good. No he has no 'mate' unless you count me!

We had a nasty episode of nearly getting swept into the path of the Poole ferry one time. Which he puts down to a faulty engine, but was enough to out me off for life.

Of course we have all the weather maps and gear etc, lifejackets etc. I just worry.

What is VHF / GMSS please? I will suggest...it is hard not to look like I'm saying he's not up to it though. But it is very important.

The comfort etc is not a problem, we already sleep on the little Lysander with the boys inside and a tent thing outside, fine if the weather is OK.

This sounds amazing! I envy you!

Tell him you're not sailing across the channel with him til he's got his Yachtmaster, and preferably his Offshore Ocean qualification. That should take at least a couple of years!!!!

My dh thankfully went back to sea under the water, so the obsession with sailing stopped. He now has a non family participatory job by, so he goes off and does that and I stay at home with the cats, NCIS, lots of tea and a big bar of chocolate. Ds is 22, so does his own thing now.

IoW is an easy one, maybe do that a few times first. You'd need to be confident in ability and the weather before further afield

Oh don't envy me honestly, I suffer with anxiety and find it all really stressful! We have two boys 9 and 13 and they are willing helpers but they are still quite young. And I'm pretty rubbish at helping with it all. It's lovely project for them painting it though.

Yes it would be an idea for them to go out on it together. I just worry after the ferry incident. Maybe when it is done up, the boys will be a bit older and it will be OK. Could also get the boys to learn to sail more at the local sailing club perhaps.

"Tell him you're not sailing across the channel with him til he's got his Yachtmaster, and preferably his Offshore Ocean qualification. That should take at least a couple of years!!!!"

Good plan, when I worry about it he says I'm 'negative' but I'm not, I just want to be sensible. And I think he's so excited / into the idea that runs away with him at times.

"My dh thankfully went back to sea under the water,"

Sounds intriguing, do you mean diving?

On the one hand, it's pretty small so comfort may be an issue, but you're ok with that. On the other hand, it's got a small jib and a heavy keel etc, and the Wikipedia entry indicates that it's good in rough seas. On yet another hand, the only Folkboats that I've seen haven't got a guard rail - does the one you're thinking of getting?

On the final hand, he's not always been able to keep control of the boat - I would say that the day skipper course/his level of expertise isn't yet enough for the sort of sailing he wants to do. And you need to be able to be able to take control in an emergency - what would happen if he were to go overboard or be taken ill/injured? You're describing a very different scenario from Brownsea and Poole.

I agree - Yacht Master for him (or maybe some tutored mile-building in challenging conditions) if you want to do it and, at the very least, Competent Crew, if you're not already at that level, and VHF for you. Sailing is fab if you've done everything you can to be safe and if it works for you as a family. It's hellish if not...

Seeing as a day skipper ticket is the minimum requirement to charter a 50ft yacht, channel hopping should be fine he will need a VHF course! The channel is one of the busiest shipping lanes in the world so you need your wits about you. the RYA coastal skipper wouldn't be a bad idea as well as maybe competent crew for yourself.
Having sailed from port Solent to Norway in cold windy October the channel and the North sea are challenging but I would do it again! Keep a close eye on weather forecasts and if in doubt don't venture out but otherwise enjoy it!

I dont know the guy but i have sailed and the sea looks quite inviting but it will kill you very easily. The sea is big enough and bold enough to swallow up the biggest craft that man has even made. It swallowed up a whole plane and years later, no one can find it.

There is a big difference between sailing within view of land and open water ocean sailing out of view of land.

One must be capable of passage planning, have an understanding of meteorology, and classical navigation i,e using charts,plotters, compass, GPS but not relying wholly on GPS.

On the open seas, powered craft i.e ferrys, container vessels etc,are not going to move out of your way simply because often they do not have the agility to do so.

Having said that, lets not stifle the dream. Let it run and enjoy it..its a future aspiration and not for next week.

Great thank you for the ideas, I can say he needs to do them first. He does seem to get stressed if the weather changes. Yes comfort is really not an issue as long as we are safe!

That is what i feel, Brownsea area is fine, close to shore, etc and I know it but out at sea is a different matter, especially with the children. And will look into the guard rail.

Is a new film out about a man going overboard leaving the woman to sail the boat don;t think that helped my anxiety either, as with the film about the man and the Globe race, the one where he committed suicide...sorry overdramatising now. But it does worry me.

You are doing very well, feeling your fear and still going on all these adventures. We did a lot of that when I was a kid and I loved it. Safety first though-definitely get him to do some more training

He can go doing risky things himself but not with the children unless he is qualified and even then not sure if would agree.

Thanks Elinor. yes I do feel much safer when in sight of land.

I am going to suggest this to start with, he has the day skipper one. What do you think?

bristolmaritime.co.uk/courses/shorebased-rya-coastal-yachtmaster/

I am a sailor, wonderful hobby, if a little time consuming. I've done a Minitransat in an O6.5, the AZAB, and almost circumnavigated Britain and Ireland. My 1st long solo passage (Portsmouth to Cherbourg) is burnt into my memory as one of the pivotal nights of my life. That passage was in a Ecume der Mer, which is perhaps a modern variant of the Folkboat.

I wouldn't worry about the boat. Blondie Hasler did the OSTAR or Minitransat in a modified Folkboat.

If your husband is sensible (and I think most sailors are), he'll make a mental risk assessment of the passage(s) and I think you should respect (or at least take seriously) his decision. Training is helpful, but less important than fortitude, common-sense and experience.

My opinion has changed a bit as I've aged. I am less concerned now about my own well-being than that of my crew. I am more circumspect about taking inexperienced sailors out than I am about going single-handed. I won't take my children or non-sailing adults out beyond reach of help. If I don't have a capable alternative adult aboard, what happens if I am incapacitated or fall overboard?

SWMBO is happy with this, and my life is reasonably insured.

Happy sailing

My husband who is a qualified skipper and sails regularly persuaded me that a sailing holiday around the Greek Islands with our three youngest children would be “great fun”. It was the worst holiday of my whole life EVER. Send him off with his sailing buddies and stick to tootling about for half day trips.

Thanks Motortrader.

That is the thing though- we aren't experienced.

"My opinion has changed a bit as I've aged. I am less concerned now about my own well-being than that of my crew. I am more circumspect about taking inexperienced sailors out than I am about going single-handed. I won't take my children or non-sailing adults out beyond reach of help. If I don't have a capable alternative adult aboard, what happens if I am incapacitated or fall overboard?"

Yes this is how I feel. Do you mean, being close to land then? I prefer to stay in waters with other boats around. Not the very busy part of Poole harbour though.

Oh dear Kath- did something specific happen or was it just in general. I agree it can be stressful, not very relaxing.