Brother with learning difficulties has been sending an escort lots of money

[Frosty66612]

Discovered over the weekend that my brother who has severe learning difficulties has been sending an escort £1300 per month cash from his savings as she’s been telling him that she’s terminally ill and needs his help.
I’m guessing nothing can be done about getting this money back?
Feel so cross about it as she has clearly been taking huge advantage of him

Oh no, your poor brother , I would report it to the Police, as it is financial abuse, due to his disabilities he is not able to make a full informed decision. She is a conwoman who knows this, and is fleecing him. Can you get POE, or control over his finances, cancel his cards and change bank accounts so she can't get access. My dd 11 has ASD and learning difficulties, and worry about this type of thing happening. Really you need to take charge of his finances, as he cannot.

he says she was saying she needed extra from him each month as she’s terminally ill

I'm really sorry about the whole situation, Frosty - I have an adult son with LD myself and know how easily they can be manipulated

Unfortunately, £260 is indeed what a lot of them charge and if challenged she'll probably deny the whole "terminal illness" story and claim that the £1300 was the actual bill he was at perfect liberty to run up

Surely, as a vulnerable adult, it would be worth getting him a social worker though? They can't work miracles, but if someone was to contact this woman she'd probably change her working name and might well make herself "unavailable" to him to avoid hassle to herself. It wouldn't prevent him just using another one, but isn't it worth a try?

Just spoke to my other brother who knows the full details.
So apparently the escort was charging £180 an hour which would make £900 for the 5 hours he was seeing her. She was then asking him for an extra £400 each time as she’s very unwell with a stomach condition and was struggling to work (apparently she WASNT saying she was dying. Not sure where my dad got that from).
So over the space of 8 months he has given her an extra £3200. She was saying she would pay him it back later on but this hasn’t happened yet (and I very much doubt it ever will).

Ugh - I’m thinking he is going to have to write off the money. Do you still think we should report to the police? Thanks for all your help

You can report it - but it's going to be difficult to prove isn't it? Its going to be verbal. She could say that was her price for services taken up. I mean, there could be add ons. She could say it was a tip.

Aeroflotgirl A financial POA can only be given when the person has capacity as a contingency plan for when they may not have capacity - the Op has already said her brother does have capacity to make (some) decision - what you're suggesting is financial abuse, to take away his cards and restrict his decision making process. People are allowed to make bad decisions provided they have the information to make that decision.

www.gov.uk/lasting-power-attorney-duties

I doubt the police would be interested.

@newyear I think there are texts on his phone from her saying along the lines of “can you bring an extra £400 as I’m unwell” and he’s replied being like “yes no problem”.
:-(

I think I would still report it - as whether she is ill or not, she shouldn;t be asking him for extra money, - why does he need to pay for that. She is knowingly playing on the good nature and vulnerability of a man with learning difficulties.

Although I think the police will want to talk to your brother - would he find that distressing?

Sorry I don't think there's anything they can do.
He did use her services.

I know NewYear, but as somebody with LD he is more vulnerable. I would see a solicitor and ask what can be done, so that you can keep an eye on his finances.

Nothing you can do. Those texts could be misconstrued as a raised price for each time he met her.

Also for anyone shocked callgirls charge so much, my friend charges £120 for a handjob. So an evening can stretch from anywhere from £260 to £1200 for an overnight/morning and all services offered.

And she isn't even one of the higher earners. Some women get several £k for a couple of days work.

You have to look like an instagram model for that money though of fit in very well with a fetish scene and be good at it.

@kurri knowing my brother, he would refuse to prosecute (if that were even possible) as he’s the sort of person that wouldn’t ever want to cause stress to another. I just feel so sad that she’s clearly seen that he’s an easy target to make an extra £400 a month on

As pp said, you can't take away his financial abilities as that in itself would be abuse providing he has the capacity to manage his finances.

Also someone is allowed to make financial mistakes. We all do. We over spend, put things on credit, get into debt, spend wages before some bills are paid etc. Yet we have mental capacity. So someone is allowed to make a mistake.

But it still comes down too, an individual is taking advantage of a vulnerable adult. If you have the messages to say he's paid X amount for services but she wants X amount because she's 'unwell', then that can be deemed abuse. She's manipulating a vulnerable adult. He's paid for a service, but she's asking for additional, and I highly doubt that she's ill! Besides if she's earning £900 in 5 hours, she must either be rolling in cash, or she's charging him way above her normal rate because of his vulnerability.

No helpful advice from me other than saying I definitely think it’s worth reporting/speaking to the police for some advice.

I’m so sorry that this has happened. Some people are beyond vile

You can report it BUT the OP has already said her brother has capacity. If he doesn't want the aggravation the complaint will go no where.

So she’s asking for a 400 tip on top of her usual rate of 900? That’s less than half. I don’t think that is massively exploitative, actually.

I could well believe she does have a stomach problem which makes it difficult for her to provide sex as a “service”. Imagine suffering from Crohns or ulcerative colitis and still having no choice but to rent out the interior of your body to men just so you can pay your rent or whatever. She probably asks for more money from any punter who seems like he has a kind heart or a generous spirit.

You brother is clearly vulnerable, but frankly, giving the reality of “sex work” she is probably vulnerable too.