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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Brother with learning difficulties has been sending an escort lots of money

65 replies

Frosty66612 · 18/06/2018 09:58

Discovered over the weekend that my brother who has severe learning difficulties has been sending an escort £1300 per month cash from his savings as she’s been telling him that she’s terminally ill and needs his help.
I’m guessing nothing can be done about getting this money back?
Feel so cross about it as she has clearly been taking huge advantage of him

OP posts:
Snowysky20009 · 18/06/2018 10:40

RavenWings I totally agree with you. Also depends on area and what services exactly each time, as I imagine different activities have different costs.

Regardless what an absolute bitch she is. She may well be desperate for money but it takes a certain type of person to take from a vulnerable person.

Snowysky20009 · 18/06/2018 10:44

£300 an hour!!!!

Snowysky20009 · 18/06/2018 10:47

£260 sorry but still!!

Chewedupcucumber · 18/06/2018 10:50

Erm, that doesn’t sound like she was scamming money out of him by saying she was ill.
It sounds like he’s been using an expensive escort

hellokittymania · 18/06/2018 10:50

Please report it. This is absolutely awful.

Frosty66612 · 18/06/2018 10:51

Does £260 an hour sound realistic? I have no idea how much these people charge per hour.
If he has emails or texts on his phone from her saying she’s ill and asking for the money then surely that would be enough evidence?

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 18/06/2018 10:52

Can you get Power of Attorney so his money is protected? I am doing this in the summer with my son who is also vulnerable. I am his appointee for his benefits.

baxterboi · 18/06/2018 10:55

Definitely if he has messages asking for money because she is ill, keep them!

I don't know the rates but spending 5 hours with a prostitute is going to be expensive

Chewedupcucumber · 18/06/2018 10:55

Well, was she asking him to give her the money because she was ill, or was this the price of 5 hours of her time? This is really the key point here.

If she’s an escort, she can charge whatever she likes.

RavenWings · 18/06/2018 10:56

So was it a preagreed price, they did...whatever...and then she's chasing it up looking for payment? Tugging on heartstrings with the terminal illness sob story? I'm just trying to figure it out.

I have no idea what price is realistic but I wouldn't be surprised to hear 260 an hour, if that makes sense. As snowy said, the location, how in demand she is and what services they were exactly plays into it.

Regardless it's such a low thing to do to someone. I'd report it.

RavenWings · 18/06/2018 10:58

Well, was she asking him to give her the money because she was ill, or was this the price of 5 hours of her time? This is really the key point here.

Yes, very true. If it's that that's the price of her service, then that's reasonable imo.

DearMrDilkington · 18/06/2018 10:59

As much as i hate it, search for her on that punting website, if she's on there it will probably say how much she charges. You'll get a rough idea how much extra your brother gave her then.

HollowTalk · 18/06/2018 11:00

She won't be terminally ill!

I would talk to the police about it, OP. Is there anything you can do with his bank, so that there's a limit on what he can spend in a day? I know it sounds harsh but he has to be protected.

ohlittlepea · 18/06/2018 11:02

Does youe brother have a social worker or key worker? Financial abuse of vulnerable people is something the police take seriously. Its worth getting checked out.

bobstersmum · 18/06/2018 11:08

I would speak to social services to see if you can get some help in place maybe he would benefit from someone to be in charge of his finances so it doesn't happen again, you could possibly do it? So he has money when he needs it but has to run it by you. Or perhaps s one of those pre paid cards with only so much on at one time, damage limitation.

Frosty66612 · 18/06/2018 11:09

He doesn’t have a social worker, no.

From what I can gather - he was giving her £1300 once a month and spending 5 hours with her for that.
She’s told him she’s really unwell and can he pay extra each time to help her out. He’s agreed and given her whatever extra she’s asked for making it up to £1300.

Waiting to speak to him again for more details before I contact police

OP posts:
RainOnATinRoof · 18/06/2018 11:10

Does £260 and hour sound realistic?

Yes it’s realistic. An acquaintance of mine is an escort and charges at least double that (she is considered a “high class” escort and her clients are mostly wealthy businessmen and oligarch types).

KurriKurri · 18/06/2018 11:10

So is he paying her at the time and the texts are asking for extra payment ?
I would think it very unlikely that she doesn't ask for payment for services upfront - before anything happens. And presumably he is paying her in cash - any record of payments he's made ? (or has he been taking cash out of his saving account?)

HollowTalk · 18/06/2018 11:11

The thing is that prostitutes can charge anything from £20 to several thousand pounds for a night. That doesn't mean this woman can rip off a man who's clearly very vulnerable.

Frosty66612 · 18/06/2018 11:12

I think each time she asks him before the booking if he can pay extra. He agrees and then brings the £1300 in cash for the booking which he gets from his savings. So I’m assuming her rate is less than £260 an hour but she gets him to pay that

OP posts:
Snowysky20009 · 18/06/2018 11:14

Frosty66612 can I just say I appreciate that it must be really difficult asking questions and being asked about your brothers sex life. But it's trying to paint a picture of what's gone on, because as you can see it's not black and white unfortunately.

As for costs- I honestly don't know what's reasonable in any given area. I'm guessing for some this figure they wouldn't get out of bed for, for others it's a well paid day. I think many factors come into play here.
I did ask, does he have a social worker?

ShinyShooney · 18/06/2018 11:20

That just sounds like he's been paying an escort for sex.

£260 an hour isn't expensive for an escort at all.

Guessing her normal rates are £250 and he's just given a small tip each time.

If you want him to continue to use women as objects but are unhappy at what he is being charged I suggest you drive him around the dodgy parts of town where you'll find a friendly druggie happy to accept £20 per shag.

GetInMyNelly · 18/06/2018 11:22

I think if he has mental capacity then sadly you'll just have to write this off.

He's paying for a service, she's giving her time for money.

Frosty66612 · 18/06/2018 11:23

@shiney the fact is he says she was saying she needed extra from him each month as she’s terminally ill. And I have no idea what her rates were to begin with.
Of course I’m not happy with him using sex workers regardless of how much they are charging him. I definitely don’t want him also being taken advantage of

OP posts:
Troels · 18/06/2018 11:32

I wouldn't write it off before talking to the police and Adult protective services about this.

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