What has happened to manners AIBU?

[LadyRussell]

I have had to NC as I logged out, couldn’t log back in and have somehow created a new account I am not new I have been knocking about here for years.

Had DSDs this weekend and DSD1 brought a friend with her who has been before.

I do nag DH a bit about the fact that they never say thank you. I do most of the cooking and like to think I do put effort into my relationship with his kids but I expect anyone I cook for to say thanks (as I do when cooked for).

DSD1 (they are 13) friend day didn’t say thanks for anything the entire weekend, and when it was time to leave didn’t even say goodbye to me, just went and got into DH car .

Last time she came for the full weekend neither of her parents thanked us either and we washed and ironed her school uniform.

Do you pull someone else’s kid up on saying thanks and if so how do you do it nicely?

I don't really understand this. I am a big believer in "it takes a village. In my house, all children are expected to behave with a certain amount of politeness. If I prepare a meal for ds and his friend, even just a sandwich, they thank me or I remind them. Thanking when people leave is trickier as lots of people don't know how to do that and it's not necessarily standard. But dsd or dd, an adult should help a child to behave properly.

I am also unclear why dh waits for volunteers? A 13 year old should simply be asked politely but firmly to get up and help with drinks.

OK well, just be a good guy to her. And ask your DST to be a good role model for her and to explain what she should do. And as far as your husband thinking that she's a bad influence on your GST, sorry using dictation, DSD, could you sit down and have a chat with your DST about her friends behavior and just explain that do you like the way she is mature, could she help her friend when she act immaturely? Something along those lines.

Of my niece asks for something without a please I ignore her until she asks again using the word.

Bling, I am in my 30s and very grateful for the village! I really am. I run my own organization, and do as much as I can. People see that, and usually are pretty helpful and supportive.

That's why I say, be patient, be kind, and guide her.