Help me choose the right home

[Pretendname1]

I'm separating from my husband. We have an amazing house together and I'm the one that will be leaving with my son.
I have 2 options and need help to make the right decision today.

1 - a 2 up 2 down. Unfurnished, with an attic room that could be a games room or for guests. Kitchen is smaller than a bus shelter so would need to put fridge freezer in 2nd reception. I would need to buy white goods, furniture etc.

2 - a completely furnished 2 bed ground floor apartment. Bit bachelor-pad-esque. would need to spend nothing on furniture so could save money. Coming from a large victorian terrace so may seem claustrophobic. No room for 'stuff' really

Both are walking distance to son's school, both similar price, both have agreed to 9 months tenancy. Neither will take the cats, so they will need to stay with my husband.

Any advice? I don't have lots of spare money for furniture.

I'd pick #2, but I can't deal with a small kitchen. It seems like the better deal furniture-wise, too. When you say white goods, is that appliances? If so that could get pricey.

#2. But what’s your long term plan?

If this is temporary then I’d go for the furnished flat. You mention a nine month tenancy so I’m wondering if you are waiting for the proceeds of your family house? If so I’d camp for that time and then buy furniture and so on for your permanent home later.

If I’m wrong and this is permanent then I would personally be more drawn to the house. If it has a garden.

The first one, definitely, because living in a ground floor flat means you'll have neighbours upstairs to deal with. You'll soon adapt to a smaller kitchen and the attic room as extra play space for your son sounds great.

The first sounds nicest, but I'd probably go with the second and plan to move again within 2yrs. That way I could save money as its furnishes, and put it to better use.

#1 - if it weren’t for having to put a fridge freezer in a reception room. Is there currently no fridge/freezer in the existing kitchen?

Number one sounds like it will be more homely too, which might be what you both need after the separation.

Here in the US, homely means ugly.

I’d go for #1 because think it will be less of a harsh adjustment to what you’re used to now

The house. There will be room for "stuff" in the attic, and you won't have people above you.
You can pick up furniture cheaply for the short term - ebay, gumtree etc. You don't need much.
I assume you will have some capital coming to you when you get your share of the house. You can buy other things then.

Why are you leaving the family home? Why can’t he?

I've asked my husband to keep the house until after christmas, for a bit of stability for my son. We're staying in the same area, which is why i'm struggling for somewhere nice - he needs to be able to walk to school and back because of my job.

Yep, will need to buy appliances, furniture - EVERYTHING for #1.

Why are you leaving the family home? Why can’t he?

Surely he could argue the same thing? Also, OP says ‘my son’, not ‘our son’ - you’re assuming her husband is his father.

I’d go for number two. Buying furniture to suit a rental property you may not stay in long-term is false economy.

Here in the US, homely means ugly.

Do we get a prize if we guess the relevance?

@Dolphin. Why should he leave? Is there an unwritten rule that in divorce the man must leave.

Clearly they've both decided that she must go and that could be for a number of reasons.

Why are you moving out with your ds ?
Why can't your husband move ?

The post above mine used the word homely, I was just commenting. On a thread. On a messageboard. Shocking.

But surely you thought the comment had some value. What was it?

It's interesting that the same words mean different things in a common language, don't you think? I don't feel like the dots were that far apart.

If you are going to be the resident parent, you have rights to stay in the house in most cases.

Why are you leaving?

If the house isn't being sold yet why are you the one to move out? DS needs to be accommodated above STBXH... just hope you've taken legal advice

Well, homely here means comfortable. Let's not derail the thread for OP, eh?

Sorry - more info.

Son is ours - husband is his dad.

Husband won't move out. I'm a low earner, he is a high earner.

I've suffered years of emotional and occasional physical abuse. This has calmed in the last few months, but I don't have the ability in any way to fight any more.

My stepson is currently living here. Grown up, not contributing, not working. An unofficial dependant, basically. Last week I had 4 hours of him screaming at me whilst off his head drunk while my husband was on holiday with our son. I am not comfortable here, I don't want my son to be influenced by that sort of behaviour and my husband is sticking by his son.

I've been with my husband for 15 years, married for 12.

House. If you are not used to living in an apartment, I think the neighbour's noise would drive you nuts.

Can you take your sons furniture bed wardrobe etc?
Look on good neighbours and freecycle (admins can post for you) loads get given here - done be ashamed to ask - it's just stuff
There maybe gov loans available aswell - plus he should pay maintenance