To expect my kids to play in their bedrooms more?

[NotAnotherHeffalump]

I have DS1 aged 9, DD1 aged 3 and DS2 aged 2.

Any tips to get them away from the screens and up in their rooms playing with toys? Younger 2 DCs aren't really into screens apart from the odd cartoon. We have taken the Xbox and iPad off DS1 except for an hour or two at weekends and we are limiting TV to an hour in the evenings.

I need inspiration in how to get them interested in playing upstairs though. I don't want them all just hanging around my heels all day, DS1 does tend to just lurk around me when he's bored.

I was probably more aiming at inspiration to get them off screens and playing with toys. I just think it's healthier for them to b3 using their creativity and imagination rather than endlessly watching Thomas and Friends. They have a little playroom downstairs, it's open plan and lesds onto the kitchen. I would just like them to engage more with their your rather than their screens.

I think i was concerned that my 9 year old maybe didn't play much because I didn't encourage it enough when I was younger, and so was trying to encourage more independent play with the younger two.

I thought being concerned about your child's development was good parenting tbh

My 2 year old is generally happy to play with toys in his room and wander in and out if we're close by e.g. tidying stuff in his room/the other bedroom on the same floor but will only occasionally play on his own in his room if we're not there at all, when he is really engrossed in his cars/farm/garage!

Can you do some jobs in rooms near them? Depends on layout of house I guess?

Audio books and a CD player in their room saved my life ;)

Set little tasks to do?
Draw this etc etc
Or get them to help with tasks so ask then to "sweep" or wipe a table?

I don't think I would expect children to play in their bedroom but if they have a playroom that's different. I wouldn't expect a 9 year old to play with two toddlers and playing on your own isn't always fun. Does he have friends round much?
When mine were 2 and 3 they did play together a lot but I wouldn't leave them unsupervised. One tip for tinies is to keep only a third of the toys out. Box up the rest and put in the garage or whatever and rotate every month so they seem new.

I agree that rotating toys is a good way to keep them interesting. Select a few things and leave them out rather than allowing free access to absolutely everything.

Some kids just need a bit of prompting. What about a magazine for the older one? Some magazines have good tasks and puzzles in them.

I go up with my three and four year old, play with them for a bit then when they are engaged I say I’m going to do something (hang up washing whatever) and go downstairs. Sometimes they stay up there an hour, sometimes 10 minutes. No advice on the 9 year old except I’m pretty sure I did like playing in my room at that age.

For the 2 & 3 year olds, I always involved myself at the start, help by set up a game, plant a few ideas. Then I'd sidle away, and then play for hours.

At 9, my dd doesn't play too much anymore, just occasionally some role play with her younger sister. So, she does heaps of activities, and plays out with her friends a lot. She'll play in her room for an hour or so reading or drawing. I prefer making sure she's active, so I don't have to limit screen time, she isn't in enough.

Turn off all screens and let them work out what they want to do to fill their time

Get them outside in the day light and sunlight. Children who spend too long indoors and especially glued to screens are at risk of developing myopia which can lead to sight loss.

Take the screens away. My 4 and 2you will generally play in our living room for quite a while with cars or train tracks or just randomly pottering about. 4you will get engrossed in a sticker book for a decent amount of time once I've joined in a bit. They'll often ask for help but I do chores around them.

I don't have much experience of modern 9 year olds but I'm finding all the "9 years olds don't play with toys these days" comments very sad.
I used to spend hours with my toys at that age and older. It makes me wonder what my DS will be like, things have changed so much.

A 2 year old cannot be left to entertain themselves.

Uh you can. Otheriwse you're going to have years of children who can't entertain themselves.

9 year olds don't play with toys? Since when? They may need age appropriate toys or craft gear or who knows, but its ludicrous to think a kid doesn't play with toys at any age, I still play with stuff now I'm in my 30's when I get a chance! Hula hoops, colouring in, make music, skipping, lego, different exercise activities, craft, costumes and dress ups - ooh, make a short play and perform it for mum! - cubby houses, reading, there are endless things to do in your room, with and without siblings.

It's only really in the last year that mine will play in their room for any length of time (since I evicted the play kitchen and play shop up there). I also evicted the microphone they got for Christmas up there. They still tend to drift downstairs after half an hour or so to check they're not missing out on anything mum's not having an illicit biscuit without them though.

They're 5 and 6.

I don't want them all just hanging around my heels all day

Your posts don't mention engaging with your dc, only how to get them to play by themselves.

Its all very well expecting the younger dc to entertain themselves for 30 mins or so here and there, and nothing wrong if that's sometimes TV but not all day, if they are sitting in front of screens all day its because they are bored stiff and not stimulated enough. The younger ones cant go and play with friends so you need to engage with them for most of the day whether it is going out to the local park or even shopping, walking the dog, helping with made up chores/gardening, helping you load the washing machine, encouraging play (set them up with paint, lego, and play with them) etc. Anything that stimulates their senses, takes them places where they learn how to behave, works on their major and minor gross motor skills more than sitting watching tv.

when ds was that age our weekend days would be something like breakfast, park for a couple of hours/or grandparents to play with, home for lunch, painting/help clear up, dinner, reading or a jigsaw/simple board games together, bed. Week days he was at nursery so it was really just dinner, bath time with toys, story and bed.

thankfully tablets/smartphones weren't really around until ds was about 10 and he'd already learned to play without them. We did have a Wii when he was around 6 or 7 but that was mainly Wii sports etc we played together.

Can the 9 year old get out and play with friends?

We live fairly rurally, so there aren't loads of kids about. We do have the 9yo friends over a fair bit. I work 3 days a week, I have one day set aside for cleaning (but we do a fair amount of meeting up with friends/family who also have preschool kids) and the other weekday we go to toddler groups. Weekends we do lots of days out as a family.

I just wanted to stimulate them more while we were in the house. Of course I engage with them. I really enjoy my kids. I just want to encourage them to enjoy playing together and independently rather than than automatically switching on a screen every time I wanted to get something done around the house.

It's interesting people are so divided about whether or not a 9 year old should enjoy playing. I had a sister very close to my own age growing up , so I always had someone to play with, I wonder if he'd be happier to play if he had a buddy. My cousin had said last night that he loved playing with figurines in his room when he was 9, and that was what had got me thinking about it all.

I like the idea of getting them to paint the fence outside with water. I will definitely be setting up wee activities and then sneaking off. I tend to either do the activity with them or just let them potter away at whatever. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong.

9-year-olds don’t play? What?

I agree with PPs that your younger two need supervision but I think it’s fine to encourage independent play with you in the background. The eldest is certainly of an age to play by himself, though I can see that it may be lonely for him without friends nearby or siblings close in age. I’m definitely with you on limiting screen time.

When I was doing childminding with 2/3 year olds, it was part of my planning to have 2 'activities' planned for a day. Usually one 'craft' or outing plus one free play session. During free play time I'd have one type of toy out e.g. small world figures/houses etc, shop and till, or baby dolls and pram with wigwam house.
That worked well because you'd be developing one area of skill and preventing them being overwhelmed with choice.
Each session would be for about an hour before a change.
I continued with this approach even when just looking after my own child.
It helped that my childminding toys lived in the garage so I set out only the toys needed that day. But I would get other stuff out if asked.
This took place in my living area.

Oh and I didn't really join in the play, they played with each other once I started them off with an idea.

A full day cleaning and a two and three year old entertaining themselves is expecting to much, i would split cleaning up over the week and do as much as possible when they are in bed.

Encourage a love of reading, in time that will give you hours of space and quiet 😉

My 10 year old plays on his own. He has a CD player, iPod and radio. He loves to play audio books while doing Lego and Knex. He likes drawing, crafting, playing the guitar, practicing magic tricks, making his own board games. Loads of stuff really. I think he would prefer to be on screens and he does get screen time but it’s limited.
He also likes being outside on the trampoline, roller skates and setting up exhausting activity courses for me.
I’m amazed at the “9 year olds don’t play with toys” comments.
I think at 2 and 3 the little ones are too young to amuse themselves but it will come.

If you take the screens away so they don’t have the option of screens they WILL find stuff to do. My 7 year old plays with puzzles, reads, draws, kicks a football about, plays tennis against the back wall, reads some more. Screens are not an option so he finds ways to occupy himself.
The 18m old can play for 20 mins at a time. He needs a little bit more entertaining but our garden is safe and I throw him out there as a last resort.

If you don’t want them on screens just take it away.