All we do is fight and argue. We have nearly separated several times this year, we agreed to both try harder. I have to coax him to communicate with me. I have always been open with my issues. I have no support from him and he was pretty crap from I got pregnant. No time for me, dismissive, as though everything was a big hassle. Wasn't happy I woke him when baby first kicked. Wasn't happy my waters broke at bed time. He's very tit for tat and if I say Iv been up with the baby then he rhymes off all the times he's been up etc. I breast fed and didn't expect him to get up in the night, if I'm working I pack the baby bag, lay out all the clothes. Pre-make meals so all he needs to do is dress and feed. If I don't do these things then baby goes without or gets fed crap and dressed unsuitably for the weather. I live far from family so it's just us with no one else around us. There is no domestic violence issue at all just for full disclosure and so as not to drip feed. Yes he has some good points but I can't see them at the minute and tbh they are few and far between. He loves the baby, I have no doubt he loves me but he has a chip on his shoulder with me and is too lazy to put in any effort. He wants an easy life and a wife when it suits him. So anyway, there's no support and he listened to me explain this and said he took it on board. I asked what his problem was with me and he said coz I moan, when coaxed he said I moan too much and I'm always asking him to do stuff. Like clean the kitchen or tidy his mess...... all pretty standard stuff coz if I didn't moan ask then it wouldn't get done so he interprets my asking as moaning. He will admit (on a good day) that he is lazy and forgets things and only does half a job coz he will only do what he thinks he can get away with and leave the rest to me. He doesn't think and will happily walk past piles of mess for days on end, over the years Iv lost all patience and I don't ask with any sort of pleasant politeness. Nor am I cheeky, probably just blunt like. 'Get that moved, it's been lying there for 3 days' he will of course then deny it and start moaning that Iv bagged him instead of him just doing it in the first place. So anyway, tonight he was to clean the spare room for guests coming (it's his dumping ground) guests have arrived and there is still some stuff lying around, so ask him to move it. He starts to moan that Iv nagged him and Iv had enough so I start to have a rant, I'm fed up with constantly having to ask you, it's ridiculous just do what I ask when I ask and then you won't get moaned at you're not a child blah blah blah........and he proceeds to fart and grin at me like hahaha this is so funny. I tell him it's not funny and it's disgusting and disrespectful and he laughs and tells me I'm a bore. Please tell me I am not being unreasonable here, that's bang out of order? The man is 40 and we have spent the last year barely talking, on the verge of divorce. I continually tell him I need more support and respect from him and he thinks that's ok????
I work 6 days a week,cook, clean, look after the at baby. He's crap at DIY which isn't a big deal but he doesn't make up for it by doing more of the housework or anything else. The garden is a mess coz he won't look after it either. He needs coached in every single task he does. He's not affectionate and won't go out of his way to do anything nice for me. He won't even clean his skid marks off the fucking toilet until asked. He tells me it's easy looking after the baby and expects me to have a dinner on the table for him coming home as well as the baby in bed and the house cleaned so he really does have double standards as well as being pretty shit at everything.....god that turned in to a bigger moan than I intended but fuck me I'm on the edge. I'd just like him to make more of an effort and actually treat me with respect for a change