To think you shouldn't be better off a single parent living with family than being in a working couple? **Title edited by MNHQ**

[CallingAllLovers]

In a nutshell, I'm working 17 hours a week and getting £700 take home salary, plus £82 something Child Benefit. I have one DC.

On top of this, I get about £800 it so in tax credits.

I'm now separated from my husband so living with family.

I'm far better off financially than I was when both myself and H worked and ran a home together.

I have a friend who's really struggling, her DH and her both work full time with one DC. Another friend in a similar situation with two DC.

I was incredibly panicked when leaving H, I often kept staying when things were really tough due to being petrified of how skint I would be.

But it's not the case.

I did wonder why the money I get was so high, then I was told tax credits don't care about your bills/outgoings, just your childcare.

AIBU to think I shouldn't be better off than someone working full time, or a hard working couple working full time?

I realise this thread sounds really goady, but I'm not trying to be.

It just seems like people are penalised for working more/having a partner.

At the moment we can’t survive. We’ve maxed our credit cards and now we’re struggling for basics like milk.
I’m taking about working parents vs single unemployed parents.
Like I said I was in a situation a few years ago where I was receiving benefits and I had more disposable cash than I do now.
I am annoyed at the government. I’m not denying that at all. Definitely not pissed off at people receiving benefits. Just pissed off that working parents get sweet FA. I’ve been in both situations. I prefer working for a bit of freedom but financially I’d be better off leaving my partner.

"Why would I make life harder for myself by going back to work full time now? Bizarre"

Can't believe you said this thread isn't meant to be goady.

My husband has had a change in career and gone back to being an apprentice on minimum wage, 40hrs a week. I work full time and earn c40k.

I'm due our first baby in November and I'll have to go back full time. We'd get the square root of fuck all.

My sister and her husband both work full time and are stuck in their terraced house as the value has decreased since they bought it. My 2 yr old niece is in nursery which they pay through the nose for. My cousin got herself pregnant at 17, has a useless boyfriend who doesn't work purely out of not wanting to, doesn't work herself and has a semi detached with a garden front and back paid for, childcare paid for which is ironic as she doesn't need it, and sits in her front garden getting drunk with her mates while the rest of us work our arses off.

I must say the free childcare thing doesn't apply to me as DS is 16 but I know in 'my day' I always paid a top-up on the free 12.5 hours of childcare for age 3 and above which everyone was entitled to. Tax Credits only paid 80% then 70% for childcare before that.

Regarding Council Tax - in the District I live in there is no entitlement for anyone for 100% support unless by discretionary payment (hard to get) - each Local Authority was given the power to charge even the poorest the 25% of their bill.

If I was a bit poorer due to having a partner I really wouldn't mind as long as they were morally supportive, shared in some of the chores and responsibilities and made the odd cup of tea.

@battleax please tell me what help there is for working parents? The way I see it is they give with one hand and take with the other.

@hatels if you work you are entitled to zero childcare until your child reaches the term after their third birthday. Then you receive 30hours. Although now that has been introduced, they have also decided that my child will need to pay for holidays meaning I’ll be paying for 11 weeks I don’t use at an extra cost of £210 a month. Like I said give with one hand, take with the other

At the moment we can’t survive. We’ve maxed our credit cards and now we’re struggling for basics like milk.
I’m taking about working parents vs single unemployed parents.

“Working parents” aren’t the opposite of “single unemployed parents”. Parents can be single or coupled. They can be working FT or PT, unemployed or studying. That’s several different groups.

As I said, you’re conflating different issues and trying to compare things that aren’t a straight comparison.

Working parents on low incomes are topped up according to the same calculation, whether there are one or two of them.

@battleax the only thing I left out is that we both work FT. My situation is working parents FT vs single unemployed. Like I said I’ve been both.

@battleax please tell me what help there is for working parents? The way I see it is they give with one hand and take with the other.

Tax credits, council tax support, housing benefit or universal credit. All available on a means test if your income is low enough to qualify. Makes no difference if you’re single or coupled.

When I mean working parents I mean we are both still together.

@battleax do you actually know how low your income needs to be to be entitled to those benefits? Your income is based as a joint income. You’d both need to be working seriously minimal hours a week at a very low wage to be entitled to what you have suggested.

It does matter if you are single or together as it is worked out as a joint income.

As I said after council tax and rent is paid I have just shy of £550 (I believe it's £547?) a month, in a variety of payments (some weekly, one monthly, one fortnightly) it's a struggle to manage on that with 2 kids and I have little left after the essentials are paid.
The value of my council tax and rent is £500 a month. (Id pay a little less due to single person discount though). So in total we'll call it £1050 a month is what I "get".

But if I was working for 16hrs a week minimum wage I'd have £750 a month from tax credits in addition to my wages which would be around £550pm.
I would also be entitled to £34 a week child benefit still, and full housing benefit (for my rent of £100pw) as well as some council tax support (not sure how much so haven't added it in)
Total
£1836. In addition to that, I'd also be entitled to help with childcare, which i would only need for one child as I would have to work school hours (eldest starts school this year).

Aye,
I'm so much better off out of work...

@battleax the only thing I left out is that we both work FT. My situation is working parents FT vs single unemployed. Like I said I’ve been both.

Maybe you felt better off on your own because you’re better at living frugally than your DP?

The thing is, when you earn just a bit too much to qualify for top ups, you’re not going to feel flush. Which probably feels a struggle when you’re working hard.

But really, the only thing single unemployed parents are better off for is time to cook from scratch, budget carefully etc.

My cousin got herself pregnant at 17

Comments like these just give me the rage, she didn't "get herself" pregnant, equally another partner was involved in this and had equal decisions not to use contraception (providing it didn't fail).

Yes squeezy then that is about the same as my situation way back when except it was only 12.5 hours.

And as battleaxe says maybe you can look into what Working Parents are entitled to? If you are so poor you might find that your family might be entitled to some HB or CTS or if your joint incomes exceed that maybe there is one of the Income Tax regimes for childcare that might apply.

Obviously a lot of your disposable income is going towards maxed out credit cards - try shifting as much to a 0% deal. Or you could get some budgeting and debt advice from your local CAB - I think it's free.

@battleax do you actually know how low your income needs to be to be entitled to those benefits? Your income is based as a joint income. You’d both need to be working seriously minimal hours a week at a very low wage to be entitled to what you have suggested.

Yes I know.

My point is it’s exactly the same calculation whether it’s one adult or two. The advantage of being a couple is you can at least pull in two wages. Of course that’s more likely to put you over threshold. But at least you’re safely clear of the fast-collapsing social security system. Anyone who can, is well advised to get self sufficient ASAP in this political environment. At least you have that security.

Your thread title should actually read “should sponging off relatives leave me better off than living with my ex husband?” as that’s actually the comparison here. Of course you’re better off without having to pay any fucking bills.

As a single mum in receipt of tax credits while I am the main carer for 3 DCs I resent you implying that somehow single mums are all rolling in it with their massive amounts of free cash.

I’ve just taken out a second credit card (already £7k in debt on another one) just to be able to live a decent quality of life. Went to Primark to buy my DCs some holiday clothes for the holiday their dad is taking them on in the summer this week!! Can’t afford a holiday for myself though. Living the high life I am.

Please stop with the benefit bashing, single mum bashing threads. We’re all doing our best and nobody knows what anyone else is going through. I present a reasonably ‘together’ image to the world, but every day I panic about how I will afford to live once my DCs are grown up an tax credits stop. My career suffered from being a SAHM, I have no pension, my only security is the house I live in which I will have to sell to pay off my debts when they all move out.

Anyone who wants to swap that for being happily married with two incomes is welcome to give it a go. Let us know how you get on.

squeezy if you’re living on credit cards and struggling to afford milk on two FT wages, it sounds like maybe your outgoings are the issue and not your income.

Has your rent gone up massively since your single parent days? Is it costing you a bomb to get to work? Are you running two cars? The answer will be there in the figures somewhere.

Squeezycheeky

if I left my job both my young DC would be entitled to free childcare. My youngest would receive 15hrs free and my middle child would be entitled to 30hrs free

Are you sure about this? Does it depend on your DCs age. In my area you can only get 30hrs if both parents are working.
I'm not sure about single working parent as it doesn't apply.

Also OP sorry if I have missed this explanation but 800 in tax credits for one DC seems a massive amount to me. Especially considering you get 700 after tax for only 17 hours a week.

Although I could be projecting as I'm in the North where (in my area) we are told to be great full for £7.50 an hour before tax and zero hour contracts etc

You're no longer running a home! What happens when you have to?

@throway only low income families are entitled to the 15 but all are entitled to 30 the term after their third birthday. But as I mentioned above they found a way to take that away.

@battleax yes a lot are repayments which total £300. My biggest killer is the £1000+ childcare a month.

@myrelationshipisweird I don’t think OP was having a bash at single mums. Just a bash that her situation is better when she’s working minimal hours and single.

Hmmm but if the 800 quid tax credits now puts you better off surely that means your ex only earnt -800 a month ? Not to be rude but that's a very low income so not the norm

I earn the same as everyone in my team but they all without exception are living with a dp ( all working ) so all have far more money coming in to the house than I do .

So no .

Should add I mean I live alone with dc