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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Baby left in a car at the supermarket

153 replies

Pinkerbells · 16/06/2018 17:34

Shopping in my local supermarket. I parked my car as normal, but noticed that the car next to me had the windows down. I'm not talking a little bit to let air in, I'm talking about every window being all the way down. My teenage DD said 'oops someone forgot to shut their window's'. I looked across and straight away clocked the baby seat. I said 'there's A baby on it's own'! We had a bit of a debate about it and we sat trying to work out what to do. We were probably sat there for 5 minutes, so plenty of time for the parent to have dropped off a trolley, or even go to the cash point at a push. The child was quiet still so I'm guessing it was asleep but it only looked about a year old.
In the end I took the licence plate and reported the car to customer services who immediately alerted security.
But WIBU to report this? I understand in a petrol station it is a different matter, but in a supermarket?

OP posts:

SmileEachDay · 16/06/2018 18:21

probably wouldn't have done it but you should have reached through the open window and opened the car door and got the baby out and just sat with him/her in your car. Then when the parent came they would've been distraught to find the child gone. That would've taught them!

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

NotAnotherHeffalump · 16/06/2018 18:22

I don't know if it was the mother, obviously. I was just imagining myself in the situation where my baby had fallen asleep during the drive to the supermarket (happened many times) and typed "mother" because I am my kids mother and I was putting myself in the parents shoes and thinking would I leave my child like that....?

MumofBoysx2 · 16/06/2018 18:23

OMG! I remember when my babies were little I used to take their car seats out of the car even when paying at filling stations. And even now I don't let them (8 and 7) wait in the car unless it's a small shop and I'm parked right outside the window! You did right to report them, hopefully make them realise it's not normal to do that!

Tinkobell · 16/06/2018 18:26

Baby could've been snatched!

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/06/2018 18:29

I would always report unattended children and dogs shut in cars on sunny days.

NaturalBornWoman · 16/06/2018 18:30

I saw a child left in a car at a supermarket and he was climbing out of the open window. Awful.

kateandme · 16/06/2018 18:31

did you see what happened op?

letsallhaveanap · 16/06/2018 18:35

I think you did the right thing. You waited to see if the parents were just nearby using the cash machine or getting a trolley or something.
Im not against people leaving a sleeping child in a car if they are literally nipping into a shop where the car is in view at all times, or going to a cash machine or whatever....
But leaving a sleeping child that young in a car which is completely out of sight for longer than a couple of minutes is not okay....
I know its not likely anyone will nab a baby... but it is likely someone might wake or frighten the baby and then the baby would be in distress... or that it gets out of its seat belt and gets hurt crawling around the car

LokiBear · 16/06/2018 18:42

You were right. A baby should not be left in a car unattended. There is a difference between nipping in to pay for petrol and the baby being out of your sight. If nothing else, security would have supervised the child.

Original poster

Pinkerbells · 16/06/2018 18:46

Stupidly I didn't stay to see what happened but I know that security went out very quickly once I pointed it out.
My DD was really worried that if we stayed it would look like we were going to try and snatch the baby.

OP posts:

CanaBanana · 16/06/2018 19:06

Absolutely shocking! I'd have waited 5 minutes and then called police and also informed the shop security. Hopefully the police will get social services involved as this is unlikely to be the only example of neglectful behaviour.

No idea why people think it's a good idea to leave their child in a car seat even if they're asleep? Babies have died while sleeping in car seats, it's not recommended to leave your baby in a car seat for an extended period anyway. They can suffocate or be strangled by the seat straps. www.express.co.uk/news/uk/621160/Car-seats-babies-killed

123bananas · 16/06/2018 19:10

I have reported to security at a supermarket before. Young baby under 6 months left in a car with only a window cracked open. The baby was screaming its head off. Temperature in the mid 20's outside. I was there for 15 minutes before they located the mother with her toddler.

Her excuse, the baby was asleep. Didn't wash with me and I told her so, because I had just been into the same supermarket with my 4yr, 2yr and 3 month old ds and had taken sleeping ds out of the car to do so. She swore at me in front of all our children and also at the security staff and store manager who all backed me up. You did the right thing.

Theweasleytwins · 16/06/2018 19:26

We parked up to go shopping, the car next to us had two children about 6-7? They were climbing around the car- got the car door open in a busy car park 😑

SoozC · 16/06/2018 19:40

I'm astounded by this. Well done, OP, for alerting someone. It angers me, as someone who has struggled several years to get to my current 12-week pregnant state, that others can gamble with their children's lives like this. It doesn't take long for something terrible to happen.

blossombottom · 16/06/2018 19:45

Interested to know what people do at petrol stations. I never know what to do but tend to leave mine in the car if I can park right under the window and have full sight, but I still guess that's illegal / reportable?

nocoolnamesleft · 16/06/2018 19:46

I'd have called the police. A friend of mine once broke into a car: hot weather, baby strapped in alone, not rousable to banging on the window. Called the police, but they hadn't arrived yet. So basically used his steering wheel lock (remember those?) to batter in the window furthest from the baby in order to get them in. Police turned up at the same time as the parents, and had to stop the parents attacking him. Baby was unconscious, but I understand recovered well. And all they were bothered about was the fucking car. Happily the police were far more concerned about the baby!

KimKatCourtney · 16/06/2018 19:55

I was in Asda the other day and the police were there as a mother had left her 1 yr old outside an Asda superstore in her car seat but not strapped in, the baby had fallen out the car seat and cracked her head on the floor - all whilst the mother was inside doing her shop, the baby would have been better in the car, I think she was arrested

Fruitcorner123 · 16/06/2018 19:57

blossombottom I leave mine in the car at a petrol station. I didn't when they were newborn and I wouldn't leave them if they were awake and didn't want to be left(they are old enough to ask) I don't know if it counts as being illegal, i didnt know it was and see lots of parents do it but I can see the car at all times in that scenario. In a supermarket there's no way I would ever leave them.

nocoolnamesleft that story is so upsetting. How long must they have left their baby for her/him to be unconscious. How awful.

OP you did the right thing. It was clearly a very unsafe and stupid thing to do but also had the baby woken up they would have been so distressed and scared and it would have been quite likely that would have happened.

MotherforkingShirtballs · 16/06/2018 20:13

Company policy at our local petrol station is that no under 16s are allowed on the forecourt. If you want to get them out then you have to pull into one of the bays directly outside the station/beside the path and then go in to pay otherwise you have to leave them in the car. Children are much safer left in the car at a petrol station.

YorkieDorkie · 16/06/2018 20:18

Paying for fuel is very very different to leaving your car so long that people are WAITING for you to return.

The whole time the car and baby are out of sight.

I love pay at pump for this very reason.

User467 · 16/06/2018 20:25

I leave mine in the car at a filling station. I've never been to filling station where you don't have full view of your car and I think it's safer than unloading them on the middle of a forecourt

katmarie · 16/06/2018 20:28

I have a 4 month old, and I've made a note of where all the local pay at pump petrol stations are so that I don't have to faff about getting him out at the petrol station, because there's no way I would leave him in the car even then. If I saw a baby left in a car like the OP described, I definitely would call the police, especially in the weather we're having at the moment. Dogs die in hot cars, so do babies, I don't want that on my conscience.

letsallhaveanap · 16/06/2018 20:56

petrol stations are a completely different kettle of fish to supermarkets! Much smaller and your car will be easily seen from the petrol station window... also they all have cctv... also you will be a matter of mins paying for petrol its not akin to doing actual shopping.

peachgreen · 16/06/2018 21:13

After reading that awful, haunting article about people who forget they have their babies in the back of the car and accidentally leave them I would always, always report it if I saw an unattended baby in a parked car. The possible consequences are too hideous to imagine.

cadburyegg · 16/06/2018 21:22

Interesting peachgreen I wonder if it is possible they genuinely forgot the baby was in the car?

And I was worrying about leaving my sleeping baby in the car the other day, for 2 minutes to get a trolley!

You did the right thing OP.

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