To ask for for advice on how to solve this.

[QuestionableMouse]

I work for a huge multi national company. Its fast food based.(if anyone knows who it is, please DON'T mention the name)

We recently got a new business manager and he's making my life hell at work. I have sensory issues and can't tolerate the feel of tights. Even the thought of putting them on makes me start to panic. I'm trying to find cotton or natural fibre tights but it's hard because I'm a size 24 and they all seem to run small.

For the last year, I've been wearing leggings under my skirt (the last business manager was absolutely fine with this)

I've just been sent home from work for it. It means I've lost £50 quid that I really needed. He also really embarrassed me in front of the customers by shouting at me like a naughty toddler. I'm not going to lie, I sat and cried in my car.

I'm not sure how to solve it. I can't wear normal tights, have spent £50+ trying various cotton ones and at this point I just want to go to work without all the drama. Is there anything legally that might help me?

Thank you

I had them like that today (to hide my pink socks mostly). I think he looks for the seam on the inside of the leg.

Then tell him they’re tights and he’ll have to prove otherwise....

He'd tell me to take my shoes off and prove it.

Well he can try, but, getting you to take things off so he can check your underwear (wording it that way on purpose) would not go down well with HR, or whoever you’d put a complaint in to.

If he's seriously telling you to take your shoes off to prove it? Who the hell does he think he is ?!HR

Oh dear questionable what a horrible bully he sounds.
FWIW sensory processing issues can be associated with dyspraxia, also. Hype sensitivity to some things (for example food crumbs round the mouth) hyper sensitivity to others. Nylon is horrible stuff, I don’t have hyper sensitivity to it but I hate it.

I thought large companies had quotas and KPI’s to meet.
If you had a formal diagnosis I would have thought that went in a large multi-nationals favour. Or at least that you could spin it that way toHR.

Hypo/hyper that should have said.

You sound like you have textophobia. Your employer should not penalise you for this. You need to contact HR.
A few things stick out here that don't smell right;
Women should be able to wear the same in their legs as men. Otherwise it is discriminatory. If your HR person knows of your issue with certain fabrics they need to accommodate you. Any nylon polyester mix is hell when it is hot.
Yelling or raising your voice in front of customers is very poor management behaviour and is a clear indication this bully needs further training. Report him.
Good managers don't bawl their staff out even in front of other staff. Report this.
What a grade one arse.

Tell your Manager that they are toeless tights?
But hugely agree with other PP’s that this is ridiculous and speak to a union. Take care

Speak to HR.

Tell them you have sensory issues and that this could be due to Autism or Dyspraxia.

You request reasonable adjustments to your uniform under the equalities act, and you would like to report your manager for bullying given the way he spoke to you in front of others.

He sounds like a creep.

There is no way he can enforce a policy of women having to specifically wear tights and skirts, absolutely no way. He is really overstepping his mark here and needs reporting to the people who will put him straight. If he's doing it to you he's doing it to others.

There may well be an issue if you are wearing non uniform clothing on duty in your customer facing role, but the company will have work-arounds to accommodate most things.

Please do escalate it to HR, it's not about tights and you having to find a solution to meet his demands, it's about him throwing his weight around and making stuff up to bully people.

Would these be any good Mouse ?

www.sensorysmart.co.uk/ladies-extra-large-comfort-toe-tights---1-2--3-pair-packs-from-14037-p.asp

"The ultimate in softness, durability and comfort they hold their colour and shape after countless wears and washes.
Each pair has a hand-linked ‘super-comfort’ flat seam toe design that is usually only found in expensive men’s socks.
This unique design eliminates bulky toe seams promoting a better shoe fit and maximising all day comfort.

Made from 70 per cent cotton, 28 per cent nylon and two per cent elastane.

Just wanted to say I have weird feelings about things too. I’m not autistic.

I can’t eat around things that give me the feeling. Stickers, care labels, fancy dress (wigs in particular), dolls... it’s a long list 😕

But a few things have dropped from the list soooo that’s great and on days that my depression and anxiety aren’t rearing their ugly heads I can’t be ok with some things in this list or push through at least.

Anyway, I just wanted to share so you know it’s not just you! Hope HR can help x

Its been mentioned a few times but do speak to HR, advise them of your diagnosis and request that they make reasonable adjustments to your working arrangements which would be that you wear what is comfortable for you.

This is your right under employment law and your manager who acted horribly needs to be trained about this. Good luck - speak to them on Monday.

I saw those tights but I can't get the size guide to load so I'm wary of buying them. I have a bamboo pair from ebay and lida cottons ones from amazon ordered that are due to arrive next week.

I didn't realise there was a name for it. I'm getting quite pissed off now. I'm asking for a tiny adjustment and they're not willing to support me.

Use the anger to go to HR, but keep it harnessed, obviously. Explain that you have SPDisorder and cannot have certain materials next to your skin.
Say you are willing to work with them .. what do they suggest? Hopefully they will say what do you suggest, or they might come up with a pleasant solution for you.
Express concern about your manager and they way he speaks to you and others “is he okay? I mean if he’s stressed I would hate to get him into more trouble, but he doesn’t seem to know how to talk to people?”
Be ultra calm and reasonable; but you need to do it. You like your job and you’re good at it, don’t let him bully you. If you don’t take action, the bullying could escalate.

A manager should not be shouting at you in a public space about what you are wearing (or anything else). The manager should take you into an office and have a private word with you to rectify the situation. I'd take this up with HR - but you need to be calm and set out the issues clearly.

On another note have a look at snagtights.co.uk, I tried them recently and they go large sizes (I am size 24 and their "G" fits me but not so tightly I am desperate to get out of them!

Just wanted to say I have weird feelings about things too. I’m not autistic. I can’t eat around things that give me the feeling. Stickers,

Ooh, I thought it was only me! I've always felt icky about sticky things like price labels and plasters, especially when I peel a price label off something and it sticks to my fingers. Ewww! It's eased off a bit now that I'm older, but I used to get panicky and would frantically try to shake it off.

OP do take it to HR, you shouldn't be spoken to like that.

Thanks, I'm currently on hold with HR. May hang up and email as I first planned but I wanted to speak to someone.

How did you get on

if HR no help maybe ACAS?

I gave up after being on hold for ages and emailed them instead. Still waiting for a reply but I'll let you know.

Wear stockings say they are tights? No way he can prove otherwise, he can’t make you lift your skirt up!

It'd have to be cotton or bamboo (viscose) stockings and I haven't seen any yet.

Thanks though. I'm £17 down on yet another pair of tights that don't fit. (too small on the hip)